The funny thing about publishing blog posts is you have NO idea what people are going to latch onto. For example, I could write a post about how to fix your own central vac and for some reason everyone gloms onto what kind of candy wrappers I have in my garbage, which then degenerates into a pages long discussion of what's better, After Eights, Ovation sticks or none of the above because only devil people eat candy.
You people are nuts. I'm O.K. with that. I suspect you are too.
So when I published my post revealing the new love of my life (my new tulip table) I wasn't surprised when the comments started reaching into the direction of two things that were completely and totally unrelated to my new tulip table: my midcentury modern lamps and ... a plant. Let it be known right now that I suck at plants. I'll fully admit that I rock at vegetable gardening and if asked to, would stand on top of a vegetable garden mountain waving a green flag wearing a broccoli floret bikini. But indoor plants? Sometimes I fish dead ones out of garbage bins and bring them home just to save me the trouble of actually killing them.
I don't do indoor plants. My house is exceptionally dark and I have in my head for some reason that the minute you bring a plant inside it become self caring. Like an artificial plant. Or ... a cat. In my head there's no need to tend to them, fertilize them, or even water them until they're little brown twigs surrounded by a carpet of crispy brown leaves. THAT is the exact moment I stare at them perplexed, and think about maybe giving them a little bit of water. I had to buy a Soda Stream just to make sure I water myself. Plants have no chance.
But there are a FEW that I've discovered over the years that can almost fend for themselves in my dark and arid home. One of those is the plant seen in my tulip table post ... the maidenhair fern.
3 INDOOR PLANTS YOU CANNOT MURDER
1. The Maidenhair Fern
Maidenhair fern is a bright green fern with airy, little leaves.
This pot of them on my table is actually a group of around 6 very small ferns that I planted together in one pot to give the impression of a big plant.
Care:
Maidenhair ferns like the care of a typical fern. They do NOT need a lot of light and they need humidity. So placing their pot on a plastic tray with some pebbles and water will keep them happy. The pebbles and water give them humidity without having them stand in water all the time which would rot their roots. They like to be wet but do NOT like to be overwatered so if you forget the odd watering it's A Okay. Also if you leave it too long and forget to water for ages, even a nearly dead Maidenhair fern will eventually start putting out new leaves again even when you think you've for sure killed it.
2. Baby's tear
A pretty, pretty, bright green delicate little plant that everyone will say "OH! I LOVE THAT PLANT!" when they see it, yet no one will know it's name. Baby's tear. It is Baby's tear. And those planters are made out of a few squares of mirror from the dollar store.
Care:
Same as the Maidenhair fern. Indirect light with surrounding humidity and yeah ... watering.
3. Staghorn Fern
If you're a bonafide hipster or hipster trend follower you may recognize the Staghorn fern as the plant de jour of 2010. Whatever design blog you looked at, no matter what they were talking about, a Staghorn fern was sure to be seen somewhere, often beside a big hunk of Chevron. The Staghorn fern was soon replaced by wood pallets and more recently Kilim rugs.
Care:
The Staghorn fern likes low to bright indirect light, and loves to dry out between waterings. That's what I'm looking for in a plant.
A couple of other tips I've figured out for keeping plants alive beyond the first week is to make watering easier. I know. How difficult is pouring water onto something? Very difficult apparently since I have to come up with a tip sheet on how to do it.
TIPS TO MAKE SURE YOU WATER YOUR PLANTS.
- Put plastic or clay dishes under your plants so you can water them right where they are and don't have to move them to a sink to water them.
- Keep a small, discreet watering can around EVERY area of your house that you have indoor plants.
- That watering can I told you about? After it's empty, refill it immediately so it's always ready to just grab and water with.
- Use a moisture meter. I got mine at a garage sale but Amazon, hardware store and garden centres carry them.
Plants. All I've talked about is indoor plants. So I cannot wait to see what actually gets discussed in the comment section. My money is on how I like my Soda Stream.
Have a good weekend!
Mo
Maidenhair fern it is then. It's a beauty.
Karen
Yup. One of my favourites. Go for it. :) ~ karen!
Jennifer Lee
I love the look of maidenhair ferns, too, but I did kill one, back in the 70s. And I had it hung over my bathtub, figuring it would be humid there. No luck!
Elaine
If you have enough light, no one can possibly kill Asparagus Fern! I promise! Mine grow so fast and need larger pots all the time so I yank them out, root prune with a sharp knife and shove them back in the original pot. I don't know who is the more stubborn - me or the plant!
Jules McShera
I saw Idris in Ghostbusters the other day. I must say he's looking a bit rough since you dumped him. Still hot though.
Alex
Well, we may be superwomen, but even our time is limited. Idris nurture or house plant nurture??? In life the choices are sometimes tough.
Karen
Yeah. He's still a bit of a wreck over it. He's a delicate little thing. He'll get over it soon enough. ~ karen!
Valerie
Many indoor plants will die a quick death if the 20-20-20 or whatever fertilizer is used is too strong or concentrated a solution.
Kelly Mudry
So - are you hanging curtains? I see rod holders, but no curtain rods. I've been in a 2 year debate with myself as to curtains or no curtains so am highly attuned to curtain rods
Karen
No curtains Kelly. There actually are curtains there right now but they've been there for a decade. I'm going to be building interior wood shutters for all the windows. I take the curtains down for the photos because a) they block the light and b) I hate them and can't wait until I can go curtainless. :) ~ karen!
Muff Hackett
I have an Hawarthia (looks like an Aloe Vera, but not) which was given to me by a co-worker. It came in a pretty square glass vase, with decorative sand at the bottom and pebbles surrounding the root ball (which was wrapped in some sort of papery stuff) at the top. Very attractive. Unfortunately it was also very attractive to the students who look after my office at lunch in the school - they were unable to resist lifting the poor thing out of the pot by the leaves and plunking it down on top of the pebbles. I was pretty sure it was a goner, but as a last ditch effort I bought a pretty clay pot with a glass top (looks a bit like a storm lantern) and the plant is much happier and has sprouted several new leaves (or whatever they are called.)
Kylee Baumle
Karen, I have killed all three of those plants you say can't be killed. And I wrote a book about using indoor plants as decor. As you know. No one worth their salt doesn't kill a plant now and then. We need to change our attitude about houseplants. I mean it. We think nothing of spending a fair chunk of money on annuals in spring for outdoors, knowing full well when fall comes, they're gonna croak and turn to mush at the first hard freeze. We're just fine with that. We buy a bouquet of cut flowers, often spending more than a decent houseplant costs, and how long do THOSE last? Why, oh why, do we think houseplants have to live forever, or even more than six months or a year? (Although some of them certainly can, easily, if you choose the right one.) I mean, geesh, it's not like they're a pillow or a table lamp.
Don't be so hard on yourselves, people. Houseplants can be fun, and seriously, for no more than most of them cost, you can change it up now and then, even if you DON'T kill them!
Sande
HI Kylee,
I "know" you from the Monarch Watch list serve! And as I remember, you made it to Mexico to see monarchs this winter and you've just finished writing a book about monarchs! Woohoo!
I found Karen's blog a few years ago when I was searching monarchs and I've been a fan ever since.
Happy spring! 🌾
Kylee Baumle
Oh my goodness, HI, SANDE! How very cool! Yes! I did make it to Mexico to see our beloved monarchs. What a wonderful, emotional experience! I cried. The local guide said he witnesses that quite often. And yes, my book just came out last week! I'm so excited and it's doing well so far. Karen has some fabulous photos of monarchs, doesn't she? I can't remember how I found her, but it was several years ago ("the fella" was hanging around) and like you, have been a fan ever since. So nice to "see" you here! :-)
Sue
ThankyouThankyouThankyou!! I love this idea!
Kylee Baumle
You're welcome! We're all in this together, right? ;-)
Karen
Ha! True. I guess for me it stems from my grandmother in Renfrew, Ontario having the same 4 plants on her fireplace mantle alive every year that I went there, one of them vining and winding its way around the room. Ugly as hell, but that thing was alive, lol! ~ karen
Kylee Baumle
For some reason, I got an email that you'd responded, Karen, but I'm not seeing it here! So I'm copying and pasting, so I don't sound silly, responding:
Karen has replied to your comment on 3 PLANTS YOU REALLY CAN’T MURDER. I PROMISE.
"Ha! True. I guess for me it stems from my grandmother in Renfrew, Ontario having the same 4 plants on her fireplace mantle alive every year that I went there, one of them vining and winding its way around the room. Ugly as hell, but that thing was alive, lol! ~ karen"
Now THAT'S a plant that needs euthanized. Yeah, it's okay sometimes to put them out of your misery. I vowed years ago - NO MORE PLANT HEROICS! Life's just too darn short for that.
Sharon
I agree. When my children were small I decided that you can't keep both plants and children alive. My kids reached adulthood. Now their on their own, but during that time I concluded that plants need to be treated like cut flowers. Enjoy them for a while, then toss them out. Like kids.
LOIS M BARON
p.s. Karen, did you notice that I changed my avatar from a flying cat to a real person? lol.
Nancy Blue Moon
You have a flying cat? Cool!
LOIS M BARON
LOL. My tortoiseshell can do Ah-Mazing things. But the picture was an embroidery patter showing a kitten in a Superman pose with a cape.
Nancy Blue Moo
If cats ever do learn to fly I hope mine don't find out..they can cause quite enough havoc without that talent! Lol!
LOIS M BARON
The thing about indoor plants is: if you underwater, the leaves turn yellow, and if you overwater, the leaves turn yellow. Who should have to deal with that?? I keep making terrariums, though, because I love the concept. When the plants all die inside there, I label it Apocalypse and add a little zombie until I make it over to the nursery to buy some more innocent little green things.
Thandi Welman
Lois we were obviously meant to be friends. Apocalypse terrariums sound like the best idea ever.
Maura
Too funny. Thank you for making me chuckle this morning.
Karen
hahahah. ~ karen!
Marianne
Don't ever put worm castings into the terrarium. I did that my first attempt having hear how good worm poop is for plants. IT IS VERY GOOD! My terrarium, that I was assured would be a civilized planter suitable for a busy career woman who killed things, took off until it was a miniature Jurassic Park. Baby's Tears and other pushing off the lid and cascading over the sides. And then it was work. I killed it too eventually. I think that the plants were exhausted. I sure was.
LOIS M BARON
lol. No worries. I have no idea how to collect/acquire worm poop. And "castings" is such a civilized word for "poop." One wonders (and by "one" I mean my brain goes off in weird directions) how that came to be.
Kim from Milwaukee
Yes, love the word 'castings' for poop....but I think I'll use scat from now on, that way I can say I'm going to scat.....and giggle to myself.
karin sorensen
THAT is awesome and hilarious :0B
Suzanne
LOVE the table!
Karen
Thanks Suzanne. :) Here's the post on how I ended up with it. ~ karen!
Deb
Eveery time I see the name Baby's Tears or see the plant I think of my Grandmother: she thought the name was "Baby Steers". She must have wondered why, oh why, such a delicate and small plant was named after bulls... made my sister and I chuckle every single time.
Karen
Ha! ~ karen
That guy, again.
Been thinking Tree and Twig could use a mascot.
See you there for Tomato Days?
Bring your own broccolli...
We'll build the hill.
TucsonPatty
Okay, I'll bite - how *do* you like your soda stream? I really don't want one, just playing with you. I very recently gave my one large plant (that I did keep alive for about 4 years) to a friend who says she will nurse it back to health and promises not to give it back to me. I eventually kill them all. I love them, but I think I over-water, and they don't like that much better than dying of thirst! I'm just going to give up, and look at other people's plants. I used to have lots of ferns, succulents, philodendron, blah blah, but...my thumb is brown, but a pale shade of brown, so it takes a couple of years to kill everything.
Karen
Love my soda stream. ;) And recently watered my maidenhair fern .. so! I'm in good shape. ~ karen!
Elaine
Thanks for the Fern info, Karen, and its light requirements! I love the delicate foliage so next time I'm at Metro, I'll see if they have any Maidenhair ferns. I don't drive anymore (even though I retain my license) so have to hoof it everywhere, therefore, choice options are pretty limited. :(
Lynn
Now you see I use to be very good with house plants, that is till we moved here 25 years ago 😒. Since living here I can not or don't want to recall the number of plants that have ended up in the compost pile. 🙄 Truly not my best luck growing in doors here . I keep trying cause I love plants but I cry when I lose them.
Elaine
I usually water on a set day, Friday, for example. Water well, let the water stop draining then return the plant to its pot. IF it's a succulent (jade tree, rubber plant, etc.) then I let them go about 10 to 14 days. That's it!
Kristina
I've solved the problem of indoor plants in my house. I have a small garden of them on top of my parrot's cage. Every time I change his water, I dump the old water (inevitably full of parrot food and poop) into the plants. Of course, I can only use plants that The Professor can safely nibble. But it looks very nice, and he enjoys a little snack when he's out.
Paula
Good idea but can you imagine the looks you would get when requesting a parrot with an indoor plant purchase? Lol
Kristina
Ha! Right? Plus, parrots are much louder roommates than houseplants.
Tina
I murder every plant, inside, outside, at someone else's house, it doesn't matter. I exist, therefore I murder. Except rhubarb. I wrote in a couple of months ago about my rhubarb root that I dug up last summer, drug clear across country and wanted to know about planting it here...it lived. Yup! I'm that good!
Karen
Oh! I'm glad you updated me on the rhubarb! I checked mine yesterday and it's already big enough to make a couple of pies. ~ karen!
Tina
I got busy last night and made a rhubarb coffee cake that I an enjoying for breakfast! I do love rhubarb!
Gilly Bean
I'm so glad I'm not the only one! Except I'm pretty sure I'd murder rhubarb too! ....and lilacs.
Ella
That's the only thing I don't murder too....in fact, now that I have moved, I am going to have to do some snooping around and see if there is a neighbour I can "borrow" some from....
ronda
i got a rhubarb shoot from my sister late last summer. didn't plant it, thought it had died an ignoble death before the winter, and, lo and behold, IT SURVIVED!! saw green leaves poking out of the decripid box, lying on its side on the patio. rhubarb can survive anything it appears!
Ella
So I guess a discussion about those orchids that you can buy everywhere that everyone else seems to grow and have bloom incessantly - everyone except me the Orchid Murderer - is out of the question...?
And I have never seen mirror pieces at the dollar store...which dollar store in ON did you find them in???
Auntiepatch
Ella - I had an orchid that wouldn't flower no matter what I did to it. I finally put it outside and forgot about it until the neighbors started asking me what I did to the orchid to make it flower so beautifully. Neglect! It's still outside in the San Diego heat and flowers every year! Go figure!
Ella
Sadly that won't work up here in Canuckistan..mine tease me to the point of blossoming and then toss their juicy blossom buds on the floor in haughty defiance. They are like a lover you can never please....
Christina Contri
Juicy blossom buds! Hah!!
Susan Claire
How funny, this happened to me too! A neighbor mistakenly thought I would love to have an orchid for my house. I firmly believe plants belong outside (unless they are in my refrigerator) so I was less than thrilled and just left it on my potting bench. A few months later I was surprised by blooms all over the thing. Must be the San Diego weather, because I don't recall ever watering the little nuisance even once.
Elaine
That's absolutely right! They seem to respond to the shock of cold air. I had a once-lovely orchid that after 9 months of not blooming, I put outside (mid October) when I lived in Muskoka - the nights were quite cold. I was intending to kill it then I could throw it out without a conscience. After about three days, I felt sorry for it, brought it in and within a week, buds were forming again!
Many years later, I received valuable info from a guy who owns more than 200 orchids and now, I have blooms all the time. But I'll leave you dangling (lol!) for now then maybe if Karen ever does a Post on orchids, I'll step in and be her favorite reader of the month! 😊
Angela
Oh no Elaine - you don't get off that easily. I NEED to have that orchid hint. Pleeeeeeeeeze.
Katherine
I leave my orchids on the windowsill in my bathroom and almost completely ignore them. I toss a few ice cubes in the pots whenever it occurs to me, which isn't often. They bloom almost continually and are the easiest plants I've ever had. And I've killed cacti. Just saying.
Mary W
Living in Florida, you can hang the orchid in a tree outside and it grows wonderfully with no care. They use their roots to hold on to the tree branch and get their moisture from the rain and humidity. That is why a special orchid pot is needed. Plastic won't do. They can get a dunk in water once a week then remove the pot from the water and let them drip dry in their special airy clay pot. The roots can be covered with sphagnum moss to help with humidity but watering them is not good - spray the roots with water is best so the pots stay moist and never use potting soil! I kept about 10 different ones blooming in my bedroom window for years with no problems except no direct sun allowed. They sunburn easily!
Jani
The hubs keeps buying me orchids for every occasion. I cringe inside when I see another one on the counter. I guess he thinks I am the world's best orchid grower. I finally confessed to the three that just have huge green leaves. I bought silk orchids and clamped them on the dead stick part of the orchid about 6 months ago. He thought they were real.
Lisa
I love you Jani. I'm going to do that with my orchard now (and I won't confess). Love the mirrored pots as well. Karen there is one that you didn't mention - Mother in Laws tongue - cannot be killed. :-)
Kelly
Yes, it can!!!! But it's tough as hell! Apparently they don't like mold.....
Jani
Thanks!! Hope it works as good for you as it did for me!!
Stephbo
I like how you automatically answered the "where did you get those pots?" question. You're good!! The full watering cans nearby is a good idea. Thanks!
Dan
A couple of years ago my wife got me a Japanese Asplenium nidus fern for my office. I named it Steven Seagal.
Because it's Hard to Kill.
Megan
Dan, I don't know you. But anyone who 1.) names his plants, and b.) names even one of his plants "Steven Seagal", is obviously cool as hell and someone I'd like to know.
Karen
Agreed. ~ karen!
Lisa
Amazing.
Pati
I agree with everyone who commented on Steven...Awesome !!! Lolol
Cassie
Dan that's awesome- okay truth is I actually snorted! Steven Seagal- oops! there I go again. Snort-giggle!
Cassie
Mary W
I have a cousin that names her compost heaps after relatives!
Carol Ann Kepler
I had a really nice garden when I lived in Northern California in the '70's. One of my favorites was a medicinal plant called Comfrey. At the time, Hubert Humphrey was running for president. It just seemed exceedingly appropriate to name my Comfrey "Hubert"! Get it? - Hubert Comfrey! LOL.
Paula
Lol! I totally get the kill indoor plant thing but I can grow almost anything outside.
Karen
It must be like that whole you can't be pretty and smart at the same time thing. Just kidding. Everybody calm down. ~ karen!
Paula
Exactly! My friends can't understand why I can grow 10 lbs of potatoes in a pot but I manage to kill an indoor aloe vera plant. One of my most famous moves was misting my indoor plants with, what I thought was water but it was diluted vinegar...it didn't go very well for the plants.
Incidentally, I try to explain to my daughter what it was like in the late 80's at my first serious job. The management (white men) always seemed so surprised when I came up with a good idea.
Teri
Paula, I honestly laughed long and loud at your "it didn't go very well for the plants" comment. Great start to my Friday! a good belly laugh. and yes, being smart can startle people... ;-)
charlotte T
Hi Paula. Actually there is an instance where vinegar and plants go together. Most succulents like a somewhat acidic soil situation so, when watering them, sprinkle a few drops of straight vinegar (I use it for glass, mirrors, stove top: almost everything) or spritz the water with vinegar from a spray bottle, and water as usual.
Gaeyl
I love your tulip table by the way. Sansevaria / snake plant or mother in laws tongue a sword like green & yellow striped plant low maintenance low water & light plant . Hard to kill. I believe with much dedication & a flame thrower possibly.
Catlover
How about a cat that has decided bursting through the middle of the plant is the most fun ever? Poor plant was dead in three weeks. He completely flattened it.
Gaeyl
Sorry I have two friendly felines and acknowledge they decide and there is no changing their minds. Sorry for your plant loss.
Andrea
I have actually killed one of these, all by myself, even while thinking I was doing good things for it like repotting it and all that. No dedication and no flamethrower. Taa-daa!
Gaeyl
I had one monster plant for twenty years minimal water and benign neglect only water when it starts to droop only repot every ten years it literally outgrew its container. I sold it last time I moved because I couldn't move the jungle to my smaller space. Give it another try.