I maintain those people with extremely clean homes have them because they're just better lookers. They can casually glance around a room and immediately see where anything is gross.
They would have noticed this dimmer switch about 9 years ago for instance ...
Cleaning: Soap & water, Q Tip, toothpicks
Which is why this weekend I'm going to be cleaning everything I can see. But honestly I can't see much. It's a bit of a phenomenon actually. When it's your own dirt you just can't see it. You walk into your bathroom, use the toilet, wash your hands, and walk out. Everything's fine. Nothing amiss.
You walk into someone else's bathroom, use the toilet, wash your hands and walk out convulsing because there is a single, solitary hair stuck to the shower door way up by the ceiling, partially hidden by a perfectly folded hanging towel.
But you spotted it. The hair. Because you have visitor's vision.
I can almost barf and it's just a made up scenario based on a single hair. That again, to reiterate, isn't even real ... it's made up.
So I walked around my house today trying really, really hard to see the dirt. To look places I don't normally focus on. I found a lot of dirt. Most of it is up high over my head so I just never see it. That's mostly dust that I find up high because I haven't played meatball baseball in my house in a really long time.
But there's also the kind of dirt that makes me wonder how I've never noticed that my hands are made up of 5% clean skin and 95% unidentifiable brown guck.
Cleaning: Soap & water, cotton cloth
You know how there are those people who you say "everything they touch turns to gold"? Everything I touch turns to dirt.
Cleaning: Soap & water, scrub brush, baking soda & water paste, cotton cloth
This I'm not sure I've ever cleaned. My fireplace hearth. I'm sure at some point I've cleaned it but I can't actually remember it. I have very low expectations on this one. But look at that floor!
I - now you're not going to believe me here - in fact clean my range hood every couple of months. I swipe at it randomly a couple of times a week but I do a full cleaning often (by my less than superior standards.)
I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will NOT forget to clean the filters.
Which reminds me I'm not sure that I've cleaned my furnace filters this winter. So ... adding that to the list.
Cleaning: Hot water & microfibre cloth is the best for stainless, hot soapy water for filters.
O.K. so my list now includes things up high, things hidden and things I can't actually see. This should be a breeze.
Cleaning: Glass cleaner, paper towels.
Add mirrors to that list.
Cleaning: Soap & water, cotton cloth.
And bookshelves. And doors on bookshelves that bear my trademark 95% unidentifiable brown guck on them.
Cleaning: Soap & water, cotton cloth.
And then there's the light. The light I've been afraid to clean. The bubble lamp. It's meant to just be dusted but I feel like there's dust stuck on it. So soap and water are what I'll try. That's what the George Nelson Bubble Light website says to use and I assume they know what they're talking about.
The Cleaning List
- Light switches/dimmer switches
- Lamps
- Tops of things that are higher than my head.
- Bannister
- Mirrors
- Bookshelves/bookcases
- Fireplace hearth
- Stove range AND FILTERS
- Furnace filter
Special note, check bathroom for offending hairs.
Have a good weekend!
p.s. I just had a good look at my keyboard. It's definitely something that could kill you if you were to lick it. Add my keyboard to the list.
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Jacquie Gariano
Thanks for all the laughs and great tips for cleaning. My Mom was a great one for cleaning. Every Friday she would clean top to bottom. We had sheets on the "good" furniture forever it seems. Loved her dearly but was never able to keep up with her standards. Oh, well. That's life.
Catherine Naulin
Dear Karen,
I love that you give tips on cleaning with (mostly) soap, water cotton cloth. Works like a charm, no chemicals, no fuss, no muss. A little elbow grease and sharp eye sight also help.
Marna
I'm with Karen! I am old now but when I was younger I did vacuum daily and kept things as clean as I could because of my kids. I have a small house, but with three boys it sure got dirty, the husband was/is the worst! I can't see much now between developing cataracts and needing reading glasses, I don't see the dirt unless I happen to have my glasses on, then get grossed out seeing what I have missed cleaning, or didn't clean well enough. I grew up in a house that any ladies magazine could have come in and taken pictures. My mom was always after me to clean my house more, but she didn't work full time, or at all, when she got married, and she didn't have three children either. She was one of those that all but pulled out a white glove to check how clean things were at my house. She didn't garden, do all the crafts I liked doing or have a ton of pets like I have had, but then we each pick what's important to us. :)
Mary W
You skipped right over what I don't know how to clean - just like me when I clean the book shelves - the actual books. The tops get just as dusty and I clean my book shelves (not very often) so the books themselves have to be extremely dirty. BUT HOW DO I DO IT?
Dd51
Easy, my book club has a yearly book sale where get donated books and usually sell around 2,000 books. The paperbacks are on their own, they are 25-50 cents,,, for that we think the buyers can dust them themselves. But for very nice less than 3 years old hardback we used micro fiber cloths until I had the bright idea of bringing my wonderful Miele vac to the sale and sucked the dust right off those “expensive” books using the little soft brush attachment. So now I routinely turn the books on their backs of the bookcases and vac their tops. Pop them upright and vacuum their spines and the edge of the shelf. Once a month seems to work in my house
Jody
I'm exhausted reading the comments. I think I'm going to lie down on the floor and watch the Dust bunnies frolcking under the sofa.
judy
what are they doing under the sofa and is that legal?
Renee Ryz
I can use an idea of how to get the sticky dirt/grease off of cherry kitchen cabinets. I don't want to use anything harsh, and I have used everything I can think of, and they still look like crap. The cabinet guy that made them usually makes furniture type cabinets, so I don't think he used as durable of a sealer, so I am afraid to use anything like glass cleaner. They are nasty...any ideas from anyone?
I lost my Mom over the summer, and honestly aside from cleaning for Thanksgiving, I haven't been able to get motivated to do much but the bathroom & kitchen/floors. It is a craphole around here, so that is my last 2 weekends of March, cuz it will probably take me that long!
Darla
I use a non-toxic spray from young living essential oils, but if I have an especially bad spot that has dirt/grease I rub lemon essential oil on it and then a paste of my spray and baking soda to break through the rest. My problem is figuring out how to clean the nice levelor blinds in the house we bought 5 years ago. This year they HAVE to be cleaned. All 16 of them...ugh
Arlene Stopps
I have been told to clean kitchen cabiners with vegetable oil on a soft clean cloth.
I know this sound ridiculous but it works!
Dd51
Try KrudKutter for kitchens. I find it in grocery stores and home improvement stores here in the US. The developer of this formula says everything in the kitchen has a grease component, and everything sticks to grease! I love it and it works great. My cabinets were made out of wormy chestnut, are close to 70 years old and were made on site with a furniture type finish and they seem to tolerate this solution well.
Tonia
I use Murphy's oil soap wood cleaner for my stained kitchen cabinets. Dilute according to the directions on the bottle. Always works for getting the greasy spots off.
Caroline
I use a small squirt of Dawn and a Tbsp of Borax in hot water to clean greasy cabinets, hood vent, BBQ grills. Anything greasy. A couple of wipes and you're done. No rinsing (as long as you didn't turn the recipe into a bubble bath formula). Replace your water as needed. Same recipe works great to remove labels from jars, just let the item soak for a couple of hours, it dissolves the glue.
Happy cleaning.
Carol Freeman
Does anyone else keep stuff--dog toys, blankets -- in baskets? For some reason I looked into a basket i had emptied a couple of weeks ago. Eww. All are getting rinsed and towel dried.
Jane C.
Last week I noticed, in the rays of the setting sun, how filthy my windows were. They are the old, wooden windows with storm windows that have to be removed and stored, and they are a colossal pain in the ass, which is why I haven't cleaned them for.... um, a few years. Apparently this is the year for cleaning them, once it warms up enough. I'm safe for a while, as it's snowing here. On to switch plates!
Debbie
Timely article - We recently had a small fire in our home (all are safe) which necessitated refinishing all the wood floors. When the movers came and removed every stick of furniture, I realized what a dirty whore I am! I keep the house fairly clean and neat, but never really get to the baseboards, behind the fridge, the washer and dryer, cleaning all the doors and handles, etc. Boy, what a slob! I remember my mom doing spring cleaning every year. Wish I had that gene. So I've been cleaning and painting and the floors are now done. Once the furniture's back - so am I. It's gardening season so I'd rather be outdoors!
Avril
Baseboards, lampshades, bookshelves, fans, cobwebs on the ceiling or in the corners up high...I use the vacuum floor brush on baseboards, other little round brush for everything else. Also if you have barnboard shelves or cabinets the round brush works great.
Happy cleaning!
Grammy
I have a sister who is such a fanatic it's always been said, "You could eat off of her floors." My response to that is, "I prefer eating off a plate." Her home always was, and still is, a thousand times cleaner than mine. Every single nook and cranny.
But she, her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren, all have allergies and such and myself and my children and grandchild have none. Some would say that's why she cleans so much, but I contend that's why her whole family is sick all the time -- none of them ever have been exposed to a speck of dirt.
I'm the youngest of the three sisters (we have three brothers, too, but they don't do housework so they don't count for this exercise), but it's always been that way. The oldest sister and the youngest had to listen to our mother all our lives talk about what a GOOD girl Miss Magnificent was because of the cleaning fetish. We're all old now, and while I do enjoy visiting the home of the Cleanest Of Us All, I don't very often because she is also the least fun of any of us.
Sometimes you really can't do everything, so you make choices. I made mine, and my house is about as clean as yours. I just realized that I have to go get out the stepladder and give a quick once-over to the high stuff around here, which I like to make sure is done at least once a decade...
Carrie
Your post made me laugh because my mother was an obsessive cleaner while I was growing up. Some of her methods were questionable— if she cooked meat in a skillet, she would then soak the skillet afterwards with liquid Lysol cleaner (Lysol!!!) for an hour or so before washing it, and everything in our home was always spotless and disinfected, whether or not it really needed disinfecting. Antibacterial everything. Bleach or Lysol it all.
My younger sister had terrible allergies and asthma from a very early age and ended up dying as a teenager from an asthma related issue (obviously not why I was laughing along with your story). As much as my mother obsessively cleaned our home, destroying even beneficial bacteria that could potentially strengthen our immune systems, she continued to chain smoke cigarettes in our house day in and day out with windows closed... which was a much greater health concern than any of the ones she “solved” by soaking a pan in Lysol or bleaching everything in sight.
Now as an adult, I have a myriad of chronic health conditions including severe asthma and allergies (which didn’t fully develop until long after leaving home). I was fairly relaxed with cleaning and disinfecting for many years until my health issues demanded a more thorough cleaning. I’m disabled (because of other issues) so I have to ask for help from family members with cleaning because the standard must be high now in order to prevent me from getting hives, wheezing from asthma attacks, sinus infections and the like, even though I take medications every day. I’m too sick for allergy shots, so I’m just trying to keep things clean and manage symptoms. We use our Hepa filter vacuum to dust everything instead of using sprays and cloths, and I use a pressurized steam cleaner for things like floors and hard surfaces in bathrooms and kitchens because I can’t be around dust OR cleaning chemicals. It’s maddening.
My asthma and allergies have gotten much better since I began incorporating large amounts of probiotics into my daily diet in the form of homemade cultured and fermented foods like kimchi, water kefir sodas, homemade soy yogurt and lacto-fermented veggies. Our gut health greatly influences our immune system, so ingesting beneficial bacteria and yeasts can vastly improve inflammatory conditions. So that’s something you may definitely want to recommend to your sister and her family..
I guess my point is that because your family members have developed allergies, they now must maintain a much cleaner home in order to keep from getting sick. Perhaps if they hadn’t started out this way, they might be healthier, but who knows... bodies are so weird.
Vikki
Dammit--that was contagious. Now I have to go clean.
Jill Hill
I used to hate cleaning, now I actually enjoy it! Why? I discovered Ultimate Cloths. Google them. The best invention ever. Eliminates the need for all the expensive chemical cleaners. Especially great for cleaning glass-windows, mirrors, TV screens etc. All you do is wet them, squeeze as much water as possible out of the cloth, clean the glass and walk away. No drying required. You are left with a beautiful streak-free finish. Also great for Stainless Steel and dusting. Just about everything. Total game changer!!
Shannon
I dust fabric/paper lampshades with sticky lint rollers. Also the fabric over speakers -- lint roll. Total game changer for me.
PegB
My mother had those “visitors eyes”. My 4 year old cousin once said “Aunt Lee, you have dirty eyes!” I didn’t inherit her eyes. I have Karen eyes.
Oriah
Pro-tip: Do not have white handrails. They will always turn gunky brown. Instead, have stained handrails which will develop a lovely deep patina over time.
Even on my porch, i repainted the top of the railing to be a gray which matched the floor because i hated seeing how dirty they became almost instantly. I had kitty footprints, pollen, mildew, and brown stuff from the sky on my white rail. My gray rail has camouflage.
Laura
I am ailing and tale a lot of medications that zap me of my energy. I got rid of a lot of bricbrack so I wouldn't have to dust that but I still have a lot of crap. We live in my sister's condo now and I just apologized because it needs a bad spring clean but we still have the furnace on. And my vacuum has a busted hose. Everything needs a good wipe down. I always clean the toilet and bathroom sink, do dishes and make simple meals for me and husband but I have troubles with ceiling fans and ceilings. The floors will wipe me out for the day.and we only have 900 square feet. All I see is dirt.and gunk every day.
Amy
Years ago, when practically a newlywed, Husby and I moved from a distant state to the same town where my Mom lives. Unless were nearby. Moving truck came on Tuesday, in-laws were coming FOR THE WEEKEND. My Mom took off two days from work to help me get ready. While I was attacking building beds and making them up, my Mom did (what to her was) the really important work. She removed and cleaned every switchplate and outlet cover! Different strokes, I guess.
What I really meant to say was, “Who has good cleaning/maintenance ideas for unsealed interior brick floors? Many thanks!
Kate
For the bubble lamp (and pretty much all lampshades) - lint roller.
Alena
A very timely post, Karen.
I noticed the other day that a lot of my switch plates need some more substantial cleaning in the groove where the actual switch is, so I should do it is weekend. And since I don't remember when I cleaned the kitchen exhaust's filters last, I should add them to the list. And maybe the dust that collects on the washer in the unfinished part of the basement, and when I that far, I should pay attention to the dryer's vent (maybe the dryer would actually dry laundry faster?).