My feet have been described by everyone around me as cartoon like. I mainly took this as a compliment and in fact strutted a little bit at the thought of it, showing off my feet every chance I got.
At one point I even took to pointing at things with my toes instead of my fingers to ensure everyone got a chance to marvel at my Betty and Veronica type feet. Betty and Veronica were hot. Cartoon feet were hot. Ergo, I was hot.
And then one night at dinner the fella commented on my cartoon feet. Just as I was about to pass the gravy with my right foot, I heard something about Fred Flintstone.
FRED FLINTSTONE? People were referencing FRED FLINTSTONE and not the hot Archie comic girls when they said I had cartoon feet? This changed everything.
Frankly I knew I had wide, square, unattractive feet. That's why it was so exciting to think everyone around me was so stupid they couldn't see it. They thought I had the slender foot of a rich, snotty, dark haired vixen who starred in her own Double Digest.
To make matters slightly worse I not only have square feet, I have the feet of a highly ranked African distance runner. Someone who has trained by running through the thorn and rock filled bush for decades, completely barefoot.
My heels and toes have thick, hard calluses with enough dead skin poking out of them that scraping my feet through a pair of leggings is as horrifying as the sound of nails on a chalkboard, my feet catching and pulling on every fibre of the material all the way down. There are certain rugs in my house I can't even walk on for fear my feet will snag them like super powered velcro and I'll be stuck on the rug forever.
This is how I imagine my feet.
These are my actual feet.
It used to be that this medieval device was the tool of choice for those of us with farmer feet.
A razor on the end of a stick. The callus shaver.
And if you leave it in the bathroom cabinet long enough it'll even turn into a rusty razor blade. The idea is you carefully level the razor blade with your heel and then ... start swishing it across your heel as quick as you can, shaving off all of the dead skin in the process. You just keep doing it until you get too queazy to do it anymore. You'll think you did a good job until you realize you've shaved off all of your skin and you're unable to walk for 3 days.
Having the cast of Duck Dynasty shoot at your heels with their favourite 12 gauge seems more reasonable.
Which brings me to my product review. (I went out and bought the thing myself because I was genuinely curious about it ... I wasn't paid to write this review and no one gave me any free product.)
The Emjoi MicroPedi. I passed it a couple of times in my local pharmacy but never bought it because I wasn't convinced it would work and it's not cheap. At Shoppers Drug Mart in Canada it's $49.99.
So when I walked past it last time and saw it was on sale for $29.99 I held my breath and grabbed it. I could handle wasting $30. Not $50. So imagine my surprise when they rang it up and it came up as the original price, $49.99. I misread the price. It wasn't on sale. But it was too late now. I was attached to it. It was mine.
The Emjoi Micropedi is a battery operated foot sander. So a hypercharged emery board. The unit has a tube of sandpaper that sands your feet by spinning around at a ridiculous rate.
In the box you get the device, an instruction booklet and a completely and totally useless plastic brush thing.
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This is the business end of the device.
It runs off of 2 AA batteries and you can buy replacement sanders for it, including finer and extra coarse ones.
This is my heel before. And I have to tell you. It's actually looking pretty good. But you can see that I'm not the owner of beautiful heel skin. I have wrinkles on the bottom of my feet just like a baby. A baby elephant.
The instructions say to turn on the foot sander and run it over your skin for no longer than 3 seconds in one place. So I did that.
I did it again.
And again and again and again. It took about 15 minutes for me to get my feet to where I was happy with them. So it wasn't finished in the seconds that the box claims. Mind you, they probably weren't counting on Fred Flintstone buying their product.
It was amazingly easy to use and dare I say, kindda fun. Really fun in fact, because it worked. This is after one use.
Cleaning
That's what the little useless brush you get is for. Throw it away, it's stupid.
The device itself is water resistant so you can rinse it under water.
The sanding roll is removable so I just popped mine out and brushed it the remaining dead skin with an old toothbrush the rinsed it under water.
It's not the same as getting a pedicure, because obviously no one is nipping your cuticles, pulling your toes or massaging your calves, but the result is pretty good. Plus there's the bonus that you can do this whenever you have a second and you don't have to wait for an appointment.
Which brings me to my next point. Who is this sort of device for? Well. For people like me who imagine they're gonna get pedicures but never do. Or people who always get pedicures (Veronica for example) but want something to do little touch ups in between them.
So basically it's for everyone.
Do I recommend the Emjoi MicroPedi? Does Fred Flintstone wear a dress?
Rating:
Drawbacks
The reason it didn't get 4 stars is because of the cost of the unit and the replacement sanding rolls.
Take a look at your Battery Operated Foot Sander options on Amazon here.
If your feet are anything like mine, buy one. You'll love it. Yabba Dabba Doo it right now.
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Dagmar
I have a feeling you made a whole lot of people with a foot fetish incredible happy today, Karen. Your feet are definately adorable. I spent almost 20 years of my life covering my feet up, because I thought I had the ugliest feet on the planet, what with that second toe being longer. My mom also convinced me that that they looked too large for my small body. So from about 9 until 17, I had shoes that literally had the soles cracked down the middle of the shoe, because they were bought too small-so they would crack in half when I walked. At least one good thing became of that, because I didn't walk in sandals or barefoot, I don't have a callus in sight, and I have read that the second longer toe comes from royal blood lines in Eastern Europe-I just might be a princess.
Sue
Thanks! Btw: meat cleavers, not stars.
Bonnie G.
Hmm, sounds like I need this device! Is the No! No! next on the review list?
Karen
LOL, never-never to the No! No! ~ karen!
Olga
Oh my, I had same thought today haha. I wish I knew someone who tried No!No! lol Common Karen! What about those random hair on your toes?
G
I use a Dewalt Sander on my feet; it has a vacuum so the dust gets sucked away.
Karen
You're making that up G. ;) ~ karen
G
I really use my DeWalt sander. I previously used a little handheld sandpaper on a paddle (surface area about the size of three fingers) or an emory board. Then I started using my Dremel (the rotary one with the rechargeable battery) because it looked to me like an industrial version of what they use in the nail salon. I'm a "poor grad student" so I can't afford pedicures as often as I need them, but the cost of a couple pedicures bought me a Dremel. Then I realized that my DeWalt sander had a vacuum attachment so I wouldn't have this white mess on the floor to clean up. Even when I put a towel down the stuff gets everywhere.
I'm diabetic so footcare is vitally important. The DeWalt sander sounds harsh, but I don't apply a lot of pressure. It vibrates the dead skin right off and the vacuum holes suck away the dust before it can fall to the ground. Prior to the sander, I had a horrible habit of trying to clean up loose flecks of skin then inevitably pulling too much loose and getting into the live skin. The sander keeps everything smooth so there's nothing to pick at. That, and I wear socks as a barrier to remind me not go searching for dead skin and to keep lotion from drying out and I choose black socks because that color doesn't stain from the lotion.
I'm actually almost completely healed (finally! it's taken years!) so I could drop down to a simpler product like the one you reviewed, but I'll probably stick with my DeWalt sander at least until I finish grad school next year.
SeaDee
That's funny! I always told my sister when we were growing up that she has Fred Flinstone feet! Flat and square yes, but it's because she (and you) doesn't have that longer 2nd toe. You both have cute feet. Women are paying serious money to have those toes shortened!
And no for a $50 foot gadget! I use a pumice stone in the shower, then a paddle-like foot sander out of the shower. And when it gets to the point when I can scratch an itch with my crusty heels (ha) I use the cheese grater thingy, then the pumice, both in the shower, then the paddle sander after. Then Vaseline with socks.
Debbie
On Amazon for about $25-$28 US dollars. Haven't checked out shipping. It's not Prime. Which one do you have? There is a newer version. Both have the same rating. Could be worth a try! Thanks, Karen!
Gale
After getting pedicures, and cringing when they bring out the "cheese grater" for my heels, I was thrilled when I got a MicroPedi for Christmas. I had used a foot file at home before and liked the result, although it works best on dry feet before you get in the shower or bath, and this is just faster. I love it.
Jeanette
A Dremel would take forever, ladies; I was thinking "belt sander" the whole way though this.
Also, we have a (voluntary) code for scanning, and if it comes up at the register more than the shelf, you get it free, or if over $10, you get $10 off the sale price (I think that's how it works).
julie
Are you in New Brunswick Jeanette? Cause that's how it works here... My husband loves that code! One day something scanned incorrectly, and he said "I guess I'm getting that free" and the clerk said "Oh, that would be nice wouldn't it" sarcastically, not believing him...luckily once he refreshed her supervisor it all worked out!
Sandra
I never had the stomach needed for sanding my own rough heels with those little sandpaper wands. Every attempt results in gagging like a child forced to eat liver. In fact I don't have the stomach to watch anyone else have their rough heels sanded (or worse, shaved). Yep, actually got really light-headed and nauseous when I looked over and saw the lady's feet in the chair next to me being shaved off like fresh parmesan cheese. Had to put my head down and everything. Now when I go in for my weekly pedicure my nail-tech always shouts out, "you going to be sick today San-ra?" Every-single-time! For the record, I have never actually gotten physically sick. Green and woozy, yes. vomity sick, no. Pathetic. I've birthed four children, worked as a nurse (in the ER no less), cleaned up animal and human vomit, and I can't bring myself to scrape my own feet. just plain sad.
gloria
San-ra, you made me laugh out loud.
Sandra
Thanks Gloria. i just spent a week at the beach, went to the nail salon Monday. Guess what? I was not asked if I was going to be sick ... Nope, instead my nail tech introduced me to a new employee, "Jess-ca, this San-Ra. She always get very sick if you not careful." ARGH!
christine
Not Nice! I had to hold the coffee in my cheeks for five minutes,I was laughing so hard I couldn't swallow, San-ra!!!
Sandra
Oh I do hope the coffee wasn't too hot.
See my response to Gloria. You should have heard the Vietnamese flying ... where is Frank Costanza when you need him?
kari
Hi.larious.
Talia
OMG! I haven't laughed like that in a long time. San-ra!
Sandra
Thanks Talia, Glad I could help.
Maria
I thought the same thing: A dremel! They come in a cordless model ladies, rechargeable :) Karen, if the price did say $29.99 on the shelf, here in the states, by law, they have to let you have it at that price. Trust me, they've had to sell 'it' to me :)
Gini
A couple of things:
1. Your callouses are WIMPY. You do NOT have inches of callouses hanging off your feet - *I* have inches of clauses hanging of my feet. Yours are smooth by my standards. Just saying'
2. That Emjoi thingie reminds me of an instrument of torture that was used to sand away the scars on my forehead after I was in a horrible auto accident at the age of 13 (year 1968) (I snuck out of the house with a friend who was spending the night, walked, smoking cigarettes, up to the local bakery and got picked up by two boys who incited us to party with them - they quickly high-centered their 64 Mustang on a fire hydrant and I went through the front windshield from the back seat. )
Anyway - in order to remove scar tissue - they used an instrument just like this - roll of sandpaper. I was awake for the procedure but numbed up. Can you imagine the sound?
Even with all that, I'm ordering gone.
Laura
What about a palm sander? Wouldn't that be the same thing? I think I'll go try it! I wonder what grit paper I should use.
Kimberly
Karen! I believe our feet were separated at birth. Everything you said is exactly my story. From thinking my feet were the cutest things ever down to my boyfriend saying I had Fred Flinstone feet! Don't they realize the lasting psychological damage they cause? My feet snag everything also. I'd love to get this but you're right, $50 is too much, $30 is doable. Your feet look marvelous. Maybe one day...
Cathy
Wait!! You can always plane wood with those feet! Then sand them down.
Amber
Wow. Your toes look like a bunch of hungover Irishmen propping themselves up in the church pew.
Pam'a
ROFLMAO!! That's such a winner I must find some way to use it.
Oh, and Karen? I'm a Flintstone too. Our feet are practically twins, you poor thing...
Christine
My sister inlaw gave it to me this past Christmas after I stated that I couldn't wear pantyhose because of my feet. I LOVE IT! Changed my dry summer flip flop cracked heel feet's life!
Call Me Patty
Sounds fantastic. I get a regular pedicure every 4-6 weeks. My feet aren't Fred Flintstone feet but at my age, I'm thankful I even have feet that work, bunions and all. But I need one of these devices for in between touch ups. I don't know where all that skin comes from on my heels, but it grows faster than the hair on my legs.
Sharon
Constantly amazed at how honest your reviews are and what you will review. I want/need this . The price isn't great but if it works that well, then $50 is well worth it.
You do manage to make me laugh every single time.
Thanks for that :)
Karen
Thanks Sharon, lol. Maybe Fish Pedicure will read this post and give her opinion too! As soon as she saw mine she went out and bought one! ~ karen (agreed on the price, but I really do like it and love that my feet don't catch on anything anymore!)
Lesley Williamson
I used to go to a little salon in Selkirk, Manitoba for pedicures. To buff my heels (and everyone else's) they used a Dremel Moto-tool with a little cone-shaped sandpaper-covered attachment that's normally used for small wood sanding jobs. I was a little startled the first visit but it was amazing! Cost is about the same as your little doohickey here but it does double duty as a carpentry tool and a beauty tool. Also it plugs in, so no batteries.
Karen
That was my sister's first thought, lol. Use a Dremel. I have 2 dremels and I actually find them really poorly designed. They're bulky and someone has to do something about the cord. Hate it! (sorry ... bit of a rant there) They just aren't easy to maneuver and I would never, ever trust myself using one around my foot, lol. Maybe the newer Dremels aren't so bulky tho. ~ karen!
Grammy
I don't need it. Seriously. My feet are my best feature.
Now think about how sad that statement is. And it's true.
Jen
hahahaha! My WRISTS are my best feature, so at least you can see mine.
Grammy
Lucky you! I have to go around saying "My feet are beautiful. Would you like to see them?" Most people pretend they didn't hear me.