If you’re thinking about grilling up a good turtle burger this week I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, you’re gonna have to rethink that. If you have either Type A, Type B, Type AB or Type O blood … you shouldn’t eat turtle. So that’s everyone it would seem.
I bring you this information straight out of the the book Eat Right for Your (blood) Type, the diet book for people who found the “You Can’t Eat Groundhog” diet a bit too mainstream. Eating right for your blood type is the theory that your blood type is basically your body’s food and what you eat should be based on what type of blood you have. You’re feeding your blood, which then feeds your body. So you should eat right for your blood type.
It’s similar to eating like a Vampire, but in reverse.
This was just the kind of crazy, insane “you can eat all the bacon you want” propaganda diets I live to disprove. I couldn’t wait to get the book and laugh my way through it.
I heard about the theory from a friend up at my community garden who pegged me as a Type O blood type, based on the fact that I think the perfect time to stop sweating and digging dirt at the garden is when I pass out.
I ordered the book online a few days after my friend told me about, got an online Blood typing kit so I could see what blood type I was and started reading.
According to my home test, my blood type is B-, but I still wanted to confirm it so I booked an appointment to give blood so they could confirm my suspicions. I decided to read the book before I got my blood type confirmed. Just to see what sort of ridiculous things they claimed.
It actually kind of made sense. I was falling for this mumbo jumbo. A little bit.
I’ve always thought that people should just eat everything in moderation, like they used to in the olden days. This book shares a similar mentality on harkening back to the olden days, only the author brings the olden days back to the beginning of humans; as opposed to say, when Laura Ingalls thought the greatest treat in the world was finding an orange in her Christmas stocking. Silly Laura didn’t know Terry’s Chocolate Oranges were soon to be invented.
The basic premise is that blood types have evolved over time and our blood type dictates how we should eat.
Type O was the original blood type from when we were Neanderthals, so people with that blood type are naturally workhorses (cause being a workhorse was crucial to survival) who are strong, lean and whose bodies and minds thrive on vigorous exercise. There were no grains or dairy so grains and dairy aren’t tolerated well by Type O. They do best with lots of meat and high protein. And big sticks to match their big foreheads.
Type A was the next blood type to evolve. Once the people of 40,000 BC killed all the animals around them they had to start migrating and changing their diet. By 25,000 BC people were learning to eat less meat because it was less available plus they were developing agricultural practices; growing grain. A tolerance for grain is born with a lowering tolerance for meat. Type A people are not vigorous exercisers because they’d learned to set up a home and stay put. Plus they weren’t running around like lunatics, jumping on the backs of wooly mammoths trying to stab them to death with a stick. They have a naturally high stress hormone so Type As benefit from non vigorous daily stress reducing exercises like Yoga or Tai Chi. Type A people do best with a vegetarian diet or lots of vegetables with some fish. No meat.
Type B represents the next evolution of humans as they spread even further around the world to colder areas like the Himalayas. Type Bs do best with vigorous exercise that also incorporates the mind. Sports that combine mental and physical agility like golf, tennis or rock climbing. They’re the luckiest of all the eaters because they do well eating just about anything but should be cautious of too much chicken, wheat or corn because they can cause weight gain in Type Bs because of the protein Lectin. Type B is the only type that can tolerate dairy. Bring on the cheese platter.
Type AB is the newest of all blood types, only developing a thousand years ago. It’s the rare result of a mingling of Type A and Type B, mainly I think, if I understand this correctly, to a group of barbarians pilfering and taking over collapsing civilizations. Yup. If you’re an AB you come from “mingled” stock. Type AB do well with a combination of stress relieving exercises like yoga and vigorous and mind challenging ones like tennis. Type AB people do best with a varied diet of almost everything. Lucky socks.
Eat Right for Your Type makes a very clear point of letting you know that turtle is on the avoid list for all blood types, so the next time you’re in Singapore or visit a restaurant in 1810, avoid the turtle soup.
It also gives a bunch of examples where eating right for your blood type has transformed the lives of many people’s health and weight. It lists all the foods you should eat, all the foods you shouldn’t and the foods you can eat in moderation. There are menus, exercise guidelines, and even a list of natural remedies for common ailments, although the natural remedies aren’t always that common. I rarely find myself stumbling onto a thatch of Bladderwrack when I have heartburn for instance. I mean, really … very rarely.
Even though I’m definitely a workhorse, I love my cheese so I very much want to be declared a type B because apparently type Bs get to eat all the cheese they want. AB would be fine as well, but that’s the rarest of all blood types so maybe that wouldn’t be very good if one day I accidentally stabbed myself all over while tenderizing meat and needed blood.
On Monday I’m going to let you know about how the adventure to the blood donor clinic went and exactly how uncomfortable a stretcher really is.
If you want to buy the book (it truly is interesting and shockingly possibly plausible) click here.
Have a good weekend!