I know I said I wasn't posting again until the New Year, but I have one final piece of business to address.
please enjoy this photo of me pretending to relax
I was about to pack up my laptop and iPhone and iPad and old iPad and emergency old iPhone that I mainly use for streaming music, and super extra old iPhone that only has a battery life of 7 minutes - when I realized I hadn't given you a list of what I intend to do on my time off between Christmas and the New Year. I can't pack that stuff up for my official week off until I've given you my annual list of how I'm going to relax.
This is a burning question in your mind I'm sure, right up there with how many ice cubes you currently have in your freezer.
As someone who spends their whole life doing stuff, and loving doing stuff, I sometimes have to remind and/or force myself to relax. To sit back and rest my brain and body; allowing drool to cascade down my chin as I gaze at the television from the comfort of my workshop.
I mean couch.
How I Plan to Relax
- Handcuff my ankles and wrists to the front, left leg of my couch, forcing myself into a locked, permanent fetal position. Inform neighbours and family to ignore any pleading or screaming they might hear from December 26th to January 1st.
- Realize plan #1 might be incomplete and come up with a "safe word" in case of emergencies. Alert neighbours and family to my "safe word" - tinkle.
How I'll Actually Relax
- Handcuff my ankles and wrists to the bathroom vanity. 'Cause that's just more sensible.
- Knit.
- Wean myself off of elastic waist band pants.
- Dig sparkles out of my scalp.
- Make a hand puppet out of my back fat.
- Do my nails. (organize by type and size)
- Learn how to use my new camera.
- Learn how to use my new dehydrator.
- Learn how to speak Chinese with a Russian accent.
- Clean up all the Christmas crap.
- Reorganize the basement to better accommodate the Christmas crap which may involve a jackhammer and drywall.
- Read a book. This book. (I've actually started it, I just need to finish it)
- Come up with 156 post ideas for next year.
- Contemplate whether it *really* matters if I finally throw out the frozen blob of something in my freezer I've been trying to identify.
- Refuse any and all New Year's Eve invitations in favour of walking around the neighbourhood after dark so I can get a *really* good look inside other people's houses.
- Sit. I'm really going to sit. Honestly I am. In a chair and everything.
- Order compression socks in preparation for my busy week of sitting.
- Maybe make a lasagna.
- Clean up, reorganize, declutter, get a new television for, streamline, cozy up, make perfect, make imperfect my office.
- Unplug. My coffee maker and give it a thorough cleaning.
O.K., that really is it for me until the New Year. I hope your time off is as relaxing as I'm planning mine to be.
Edie Marie
#1,7 & 10 would be at the top of my list! Especially #1 as I'm aging, I mean becoming extremely "mature"! Thank you for helping us not take ourselves so seriously during the pre-Christmas stress and "Have yourself a merry little Christmas"!
Christmas blessings - Edie Marie
Maggie Van Sickle
Sounds like a plan. Merry Christmas Karen.
Mary Michelle
Enjoy your time off! I once read that when your mind is tired work your body, when your body is tired work your mind, when they both are tired - QUIT!
Kathy K
Maybe having a project IS relaxing to you? What's wrong with using everyday to its fullest?
I once saw an interview with Martha Stewart about sleep. She was told she needed at least 6 hours a night of sleep in order to have a healthy mind, but she could never sleep more than
2 or 3 hours at night. She did all sorts of things, including medication to relax and sleep. She started to wonder and then decided to research how very successful people slept and relaxed?
Results-Most very successful people slept 2-3 hours per night, they actively relaxed (meaning they golfed, hiked, sailed, etc) Sitting and doing nothing (ex: watching TV) was unacceptable, lazy, and unproductive. Martha realized what a true gift she was given to be able to function very effectively on only 2-3 hours per night. Just something to ponder during your planned relaxation.
Marna
Funny! Hope you do get to relax a bit and have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! :)
judy
get out the new camera and document all of your accomplishments,your terrace-patio among them(I know they are already documented in a cloud that may become so weighty it spews them forth onto the perfect haircut) anyhoo force yourself to take stock and admit that you are not whatever drives you to keep erasing from the chalkboard of your life your negatives by getting stuff done and done and what the hell else can I do? You are an A+++++ human. Your very existence is probably on some cosmic chalkboard where alien tentacled creatures admire you. Only the two appendages you say?...well ten digits of course and don't forget opposing thumb-scratches head, nods- yes yes, quite remarkable- too bad about the sleigh but my son found it quite tasty.
Danni McLaughlin
merry christmas and thanks for all the inspiration! lower case bc we’re low-key like that.
whitequeen96
I can tell it was KILLING you to sit there pretending to relax! I can sense the coiled energy, barely held in check.
Celia
Good luck. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Dana Studer
Funny you mention ice cubes. I counted mine earlier today. I have 13-if I budget 3 cubes for each drink, I don't need to refill the 5 empty trays until Sunday.
Kristi
😂😂😂
K Hamilton
Number 6 is brilliant!
Ramona
Enjoy your magnificent week! And Happy 2019💕
canadamsel
You have a new dehydrator? Please do tell what you have planned for it. Mine has been sitting here, unused, for oh, about 3 years now.
Sue McKnight
As you sail away on the ship of relaxation... I must say I’m exhausted after reading your list! Bon Voyage and have a wonderful time trying to master the art of relaxation....😉
Jenn Kirksey
You make me smile too!
Enjoy you vacation!!!
Jeri Mearns
Great post and great year of posts! Thank you and have a great time chained to the couch.
Punkie
Not the couch She said she was going to go to the bathroom. It's more practical. Love your ideas for relaxation. Doesn't sound like you can get much done while locked to the vanity. Happy Christmas and merry new year.
Georgia Girl
So - you’re signing off for real this time? ... you’re not coming back until next year, right ?
I miss you already!
🎄Merry Christmas, Karen! 👯♀️
Loreen
You make me smile.
Martina
I’m sorry but if that’s a pic of you relaxing...lol What I get from the pic is...”hmmm....what should I tackle next?”
Go ahead tell me I’m wrong...lol
Tres
I love your list and that completely unstaged picture of you relaxing! ;-) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Francine Nault
I totally agree with you about Karen. I cannot find where I can comment on her page so therefore I also wish her a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and always enjoy her posts.