I have a puppy. Holy crap. He's so much harder to take care of than sourdough starter. And yet - nobody mentioned that. Not a single person I told said, "You know it's gonna be harder than raising sourdough starter don't you? " What the hell, people?!
Listen, before we even get into this post with its assortment of terrible, blurry pictures of the 8 week old puppy, I have to wonder out loud - why didn't I get something easier to take care of? Like a soufflé. Or 17 babies.
At least when you bring a brand new baby home it just lays there. Yeah, it might scream for extended periods of time but you can eliminate that problem with a $2 set of earplugs and some Gin.
Speaking of elimination, were you aware that a puppy needs to eliminate every hour? Or maybe he doesn't. 🤷♀️ It's a game of risk ... and chance! Will he go? Or won't he? You could roll the dice and wait 2 minutes until you yourself have finished peeing while being stared at by a dog to take him out, but then you run the risk of having two messes to clean up.
Again. WHY people, why?? Just a little nudge and - Hey, remember that time you always kill your sourdough starter?
The First Week With a new Puppy
Is completely exhausting. There's no time to get showered or groceries and definitely no working. Your time is divided between making sure it only eats inside the house and only poops outside of it.
When I first started thinking about getting a dog a couple of years ago, I imagined me and my pup creating beautiful portraits together. Me behind the lens, he standing regally, staring directly into the camera with a certain glint in his eye evoking the spirit of his mentor Tyra Banks.
The reality of portrait taking with your new puppy evokes something a little more avant garde than your standard Vogue shoot.
You are not on mushrooms. These are the portrait shots of my dog ...
I'm quite proud of this one. I was taking a photo of his face. Yes, it's his ass, but it's *almost* in focus. A soufflé on the other hand will certainly move during a photoshoot, but in general is much better behaved.
Have I mentioned I ate a fistful of dog kibble by accident?
Instead of walking around with my phone constantly I am now walking around with a treat pouch. Dog does something good - I give dog treat. Dog doesn't attack my ankles - I give dog treat. He knows exactly what to do to make me give him a treat.
It is the Pavlovian response in reverse.
Near the end of the week I sat at my computer with the treat pouch on my lap, the dog at my side and a small bowl of mixed nuts beside my laptop.
I don't think I need to explain it any more than that but I would like to say that the treats were surprisingly fishy.
I'd like to really hammer down on the fact that I didn't just put the nut sized handful of treats in my mouth and spit them out. I chewed them. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Yup, this makes sense - nuts are crunchy, deduced my brain.
But they're not fishy.
Not wanting to waste food and feeling moderately irrational after the shock of it, I walked over to the dog's food bowl and spat the partially chewed treats in. I felt like a seagull feeding her young.
Oh. I didn't mention that? I thought I had. K. Moving on.
I can't say for sure, but from what I remember upon waking up from a terror faint, this was the exact moment he got the Zoomies for the first time.
We were outside for another supermodel photoshoot. The above photo is a very accurate representation of how that went for us.
The Zoomies last from approximately 6 - 7 p.m. and involve chasing imaginary scary things, biting the air, biting my pants, biting my feet, biting while doing somersaults, and generally terrorizing anything in his path.
That's right. Between 6 and 7 he becomes a predator land shark who trained with Cirque de Soleil at some point.
This is normal.
This is another shot from the Zoomie photoshoot. That's a leg. I believe. If I gave this one above a zippy title I could probably sell it to one of the more forward thinking art galleries.
In this next shot I came very close to photographing almost half of him.
In the end, over the course of 3 weeks I got one photo that I could use for identification purposes on a flyer if I had to. If, say, my puppy was carried off by a gaggle of little girls wanting to smooch and dress him up like Ariana Grande.
So that is the photo I have left to the end to introduce you to my new blue Standard Poodle ...
PHILIP
(Lip)
If you're fan of the show Shameless you probably instantly recognize the name Lip. That's exactly where my new puppy's name came from after a long list and several days of being called STOP THAT, You're so cuteeee, Hi Puppy! and OMG that reeks.
I didn't really want a human name for him but he ended up being Philip with the nickname Lip because it felt right. The same way saving a large handful of potato chips at the bottom of the bag so you can eat them tomorrow as a snack at 4 o'clock feels right.
I'll continue trying to get a good photo of him. Maybe one where he's actually looking at me for instance. I could take one while he's sleeping but that feels like cheating. Also it would be a terrible photo because being black, when he sleeps he just looks like a hairy snow tire.
Over the next 2 years his coat will clear from black to blue. I'll explain more about what a "blue" poodle is in my next post on Philip.
Philip's breeder ultimately selected him for me based on his personality and temperament. Aside from the Zoomies every night he's the calmest, nicest puppy I've come across.
After being home one week he could sit, lay down (with luring), wait and walk at my side.
And he requires a lot less feeding than sourdough starter.
→Follow me on Instagram where I often make a fool of myself←
Kaisa Kupila
Congratulations!! I knew it is going to be some kind of a doodle.....but I never heard of Blue Standard Poodles.....Live and learn. He looks gorgeous and now doubt we will be seeing lots of doggy fashion ideas in a future,
Love the name btw. Lip was my favorite character in Shameless. Happy Doggy days to you.
Mummy of 5 pavement specials from Amsterdam.
Karen
Lip was EVERYONE's favourite on Shameless! It's my way of him living on after the end of the series. :) And thank you! ~ karen!
Maria
Awwww, my friend’s mom bred and showed toy blues internationally. Such beauties. Wicked smart, be careful to make sure you aren’t the one being trained!
Karen
Oh he's already trained me to the point that I worry I'd be susceptible to falling victim to a cult. I mean, he trained me and I didn't even know it! Terrifying, lol. ~ karen!
Krista
Oh, you've got one of THOSE have you?
My son and his husband decided to 'rescue' Archie eighteen months ago, otherwise known as The Black Blur.
They used to be party people, three holidays a year, popping into trendy bars all over London without a second thought.
And now ...
You'll be inundated with advice, Karen.
I'll just send you a knowing look.
Much love,
Krista.
Karen
LOL! Thanks. It's been under 2 weeks and I've already received countless tips. Some great, some terrible, all well intended, I think. (Unless people are conspiring to help me raise a monster dog for fun, which is entirely possible.) ~ karen!
Amanda
Love standard poodles so much. We brought home a Pyrador less than a week ago. She’s awesome and utterly exhausting. Looking forward to all of your stories and training tips! And, the blurry butt pictures are real!
Karen
There's no photographing him. There just isn't. For the moment I'm watching all the videos on the McCann Youtube channel. (repeatedly) ~ karen!
Kae
Move all your shoes, and anything else you hold dear, to higher ground. You can train them out of biting, but until those milk teeth are out you should definitely err on the side of caution. The amount of single shoes I've lost to puppy teeth....
Karen
He's particularly fond of my garden boots. I just finally moved them this morning when "leave it" became - if I chew on this boot she'll say leave it and then I'll get a treat. ~ karen!
Kate
Karen, I NEVER leave comments, but this time I can’t help myself! This post has been my life for the last 5 months! You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into!! Im sitting on my sofa, a lump of exhaustion after a day with my 6.5 month old standard poodle pup, Brody. He’s adorable one minute, Cudjo the next! Smart, fast, crazy cute, and deviously laughing at me as I lunge for the leash trying (unsuccessfully) to catch him.
If you want any pointers on keeping your sanity while raising a puppy, don’t ask me! I’ve tried just about everything. However, as any one who knows me will tell you, nothing has worked, I’ve completely lost it!
Signed, Hopelessly in love with Brody
Karen
Yeah. I'm not sure HOW I'm going to do this quite honestly. Good luck! ~ karen
Terri
So happy for you! Welcome to doggie world.
Karen
Thx! ~ karen!
Pamela
Poodles of all sizes are fantastic companions. I had two toys who travelled to Europe with me ten times. Felix & Devil were black & adorable & extraordinarily intelligent. They were well trained (I trained dogs for many years as a profession) & went with me everywhere. Work, vacation, home, repeat. (The pluses of small dogs that don’t shed.)
Philip will be a forever friend who will bring many years of joy. ❤️
Keep posting about your journey 🐾
Karen
I will! I've just discovered the joys of rice and bits of hotdog in a kong. It's the one thing giving me time to reply to comments and possibly even bathe today. ~ karen!
Erin
kongs saved my life
Margie Driscoll
There is no better match than a standard poodle. I am on number 2. My first was a male black standard that sadly passed after 16.5 years. Despite my objections (how could another ever steal my heart), after 6 months we found a phantom standard poodle (you can look them up), she will never replace my first love - but she loves us just as much.
Congratulations on your wise, obviously well-researched choice. Hope to see lots of pics of your new glorious life together (poodles are great on paddle boards) - they keep you young!
Karen
Their athleticism is part of what I love about them. And they're so bouncy! ~ karen
Vikki
Having had about a dozen dogs in my life, this looks like fun-and-games to me. Congratulations! you now have a new exercise program. Oh….and a Very cute puppy! I’m looking forward to lots more photos.
Karen
I'm looking forward to being able to get photos too, lol. One day! ~ karen
Kristina
The best news is those sharp puppy teeth will fall out, they lose their "baby" teeth just like humans. No one told me this. I was horrified when my year old dog came up to me & spit out teeth from my friends puppy ( puppy was chewing on him & they got stuck in his furry mustache). . ..
Karen
LOL! Eek, yup, that would be quite terrifying. I knew they lost their teeth but didn't reallyyyyy realize what it was like until my sister sent me a picture of her puppy Boo Boo's teeth that she found around the house. It was a bit shocking! ~ karen!
Emily Cherry
Save the teeth for future Halloween decorations! XD
Karen
HAHAHA! ~ karen
Sharon
Soooo cute. Philip. Congratulations.
Karen
Thank you! ~ karen
Randy P
Congrats on making the solid commitment to raise the beastie.
Just so you know -
Adult dogs can hold their pee for up to 10-12 hours if needed, but that doesn't mean that they should. The average adult dog should be allowed to relieve itself at least 3-5 times per day. That's at least once every 8 hours.
Which is a way longer stretch of time than a 72yr old adult male can hold it..... or so I've been told. lol
Theresa G. Chickering
Excellent point, Randy.
The hourly trips outdoors with the puppy will eventually extend to two hours , three hours, etc.
I found that urinary "accidents" were more MY FAULT than the puppy's, i.e. maybe I brought him inside too soon, or waited 20 minutes too long before bringing him outdoors to do his "business".
A reliably potty-trained dog is such a joy!
Karen
He's very good. I take him out at midnight and then he holds it easily until 8 in the morning. Phew! ~ karen!
Ella
So handsome! But Lip?? No, another nickname will come. My guy is Austin but for some reason I call him Popsie. My last dog was Teddy but I called him Bubba. No reason for it…just happened. Blues are stunning. Congratulations!
Elise
What about Flip?
Jan
I call my dog Bubba, too. His name is Fergus.
Karen
No, his name really is Lip, lol. Philip for introductions. If you had seen the show Shameless you'd understand. ;) ~ karen!
Motley Crew
Oh Karen!
Lip! Love Love Love!
And, Yes Shameless Lives On! Bless You
When I asked my 32 yr old daughter if, she watched the show, she was clueless. I explained to her, Shameless made me feel better about myself & life in general.
I agree, training puppies is the equivalent of Special Forces Training in the Military. Good Luck
Emie
I'm sitting here past midnight with my 8 month dog who has the Zoomies. The Zoomies are REAL and no joke exhausting!
Karen
omg 8 months and still has the Zoomies?😭🤣 ~ karen!
ReetaVeeda
Zoomies Are Forever!
Jill
Poodles are very very smart. Almost as smart as mini aussie shephards, which i have. So smart she is 5 years old and still has accidents in the house. Lol
Karen
Oh, my neighbour has a mini Australian Shepherd. It is the cutest dog EVER! ~ karen
Leslie
Too adorable. Although I haven't seen too many blue poodles! Too pretty for 'Lip.' Still, congrats!
Karen
He'll change over the next 2 years so even I don't know what he'll end up looking like. The blues are all a bit different. He's Lip around the house and Philip when I have to call him. And for formal introductions of course. ~ karen!
Maryellen Burdwood
Welp. Yeah! That IS rather what puppies are about! In a couple years, he'll calm down, all will be well! In the meantime... .. um. You have a puppy! yay! So glad for you!
Karen
Do I EVER have a puppy, lol. Thx!! ~ karen
Jane
Love, love, love standard poodles. If I ever had any dog other than an Irish setter it would be a standard poodle. I look forward to seeing Lip around town.
Teri
You could emulate my son and have one of each…red and black is a lovely combination and two big dogs with the zoomies is, um, interesting. Do not stand without being braced!
Teri on the Left Coast
Karen
I love, love, love them too. Always have and I always said I'd get one. There used to be an Irish Setter in my neighbourhood years ago - they're beautiful! ~ karen
suzanne
Beautiful babe. Welcome to groomsville.
Karen
Yeah, it'll be a lot of grooming! But no vacuuming pet hair at least! ~ karen