I have a puppy. Holy crap. He's so much harder to take care of than sourdough starter. And yet - nobody mentioned that. Not a single person I told said, "You know it's gonna be harder than raising sourdough starter don't you? " What the hell, people?!
Listen, before we even get into this post with its assortment of terrible, blurry pictures of the 8 week old puppy, I have to wonder out loud - why didn't I get something easier to take care of? Like a soufflé. Or 17 babies.
At least when you bring a brand new baby home it just lays there. Yeah, it might scream for extended periods of time but you can eliminate that problem with a $2 set of earplugs and some Gin.
Speaking of elimination, were you aware that a puppy needs to eliminate every hour? Or maybe he doesn't. 🤷♀️ It's a game of risk ... and chance! Will he go? Or won't he? You could roll the dice and wait 2 minutes until you yourself have finished peeing while being stared at by a dog to take him out, but then you run the risk of having two messes to clean up.
Again. WHY people, why?? Just a little nudge and - Hey, remember that time you always kill your sourdough starter?
The First Week With a new Puppy
Is completely exhausting. There's no time to get showered or groceries and definitely no working. Your time is divided between making sure it only eats inside the house and only poops outside of it.
When I first started thinking about getting a dog a couple of years ago, I imagined me and my pup creating beautiful portraits together. Me behind the lens, he standing regally, staring directly into the camera with a certain glint in his eye evoking the spirit of his mentor Tyra Banks.
The reality of portrait taking with your new puppy evokes something a little more avant garde than your standard Vogue shoot.
You are not on mushrooms. These are the portrait shots of my dog ...
I'm quite proud of this one. I was taking a photo of his face. Yes, it's his ass, but it's *almost* in focus. A soufflé on the other hand will certainly move during a photoshoot, but in general is much better behaved.
Have I mentioned I ate a fistful of dog kibble by accident?
Instead of walking around with my phone constantly I am now walking around with a treat pouch. Dog does something good - I give dog treat. Dog doesn't attack my ankles - I give dog treat. He knows exactly what to do to make me give him a treat.
It is the Pavlovian response in reverse.
Near the end of the week I sat at my computer with the treat pouch on my lap, the dog at my side and a small bowl of mixed nuts beside my laptop.
I don't think I need to explain it any more than that but I would like to say that the treats were surprisingly fishy.
I'd like to really hammer down on the fact that I didn't just put the nut sized handful of treats in my mouth and spit them out. I chewed them. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Yup, this makes sense - nuts are crunchy, deduced my brain.
But they're not fishy.
Not wanting to waste food and feeling moderately irrational after the shock of it, I walked over to the dog's food bowl and spat the partially chewed treats in. I felt like a seagull feeding her young.
Oh. I didn't mention that? I thought I had. K. Moving on.
I can't say for sure, but from what I remember upon waking up from a terror faint, this was the exact moment he got the Zoomies for the first time.
We were outside for another supermodel photoshoot. The above photo is a very accurate representation of how that went for us.
The Zoomies last from approximately 6 - 7 p.m. and involve chasing imaginary scary things, biting the air, biting my pants, biting my feet, biting while doing somersaults, and generally terrorizing anything in his path.
That's right. Between 6 and 7 he becomes a predator land shark who trained with Cirque de Soleil at some point.
This is normal.
This is another shot from the Zoomie photoshoot. That's a leg. I believe. If I gave this one above a zippy title I could probably sell it to one of the more forward thinking art galleries.
In this next shot I came very close to photographing almost half of him.
In the end, over the course of 3 weeks I got one photo that I could use for identification purposes on a flyer if I had to. If, say, my puppy was carried off by a gaggle of little girls wanting to smooch and dress him up like Ariana Grande.
So that is the photo I have left to the end to introduce you to my new blue Standard Poodle ...
PHILIP
(Lip)
If you're fan of the show Shameless you probably instantly recognize the name Lip. That's exactly where my new puppy's name came from after a long list and several days of being called STOP THAT, You're so cuteeee, Hi Puppy! and OMG that reeks.
I didn't really want a human name for him but he ended up being Philip with the nickname Lip because it felt right. The same way saving a large handful of potato chips at the bottom of the bag so you can eat them tomorrow as a snack at 4 o'clock feels right.
I'll continue trying to get a good photo of him. Maybe one where he's actually looking at me for instance. I could take one while he's sleeping but that feels like cheating. Also it would be a terrible photo because being black, when he sleeps he just looks like a hairy snow tire.
Over the next 2 years his coat will clear from black to blue. I'll explain more about what a "blue" poodle is in my next post on Philip.
Philip's breeder ultimately selected him for me based on his personality and temperament. Aside from the Zoomies every night he's the calmest, nicest puppy I've come across.
After being home one week he could sit, lay down (with luring), wait and walk at my side.
And he requires a lot less feeding than sourdough starter.
→Follow me on Instagram where I often make a fool of myself←
Elizabeth
Standard poodles are *the best*!!! Strongly recommend you look into "crate training" if you haven't already. Gives puppy a safe, comfy place to hang out during those times (shower! trip to grocery store! an actual solitary pee!) when you can't supervise him as closely as you need to during these early months. Prevents all sorts of troublesome behavior and habits from forming, reduces your need to remedy trouble and lets you focus on the positive. And, yes, having a puppy is almost exactly like having a baby. I've done both multiple times, and used to train dogs. The good news is that if you can raise a puppy successfully you will have a running start on managing a young child if you ever decide to go down that route. Key mantra for both: "Behavior that gets attention is behavior that gets repeated." Have fun!
Karen
No kidding! Behaviour that gets attention reallyyyyy gets repeated. He's smart AND a bit stubborn. Yikes. ~ karen!
Jody
I am so excited for you.
Our pup, Murphy, is ten now and my constant shadow. The first night home with him I set the alarm for 2am to take Murphy for 'hurry up'. Outside my thought was "What the F**K have we done?" But I have never had that same thought since. He is my best buddy.
You will build an amazing relationship with Lip that is yours and his alone. Enjoy!
Nancy
Congratulations! You're a brave woman! No puppies for this girl...or babies, yikes!
And the Zoomies are also known as FRAP. Frantic Rapid Activity Periods. I had a mixed breed pup that would run from the kitchen thru the dining room into the living room over the coffee table bounce off the back of the couch and head back for the kitchen...repeatedly...every night at about 6. Fun stuff!
Also, regarding eating the handful of kibble. Wagatha's in Manchester Vermont makes organic dog treats with "the purest ingredients" that the employees eat daily. My boyfriend and I tried the Breakfast flavor and they were awesome. Just a little food for thought.
Enjoy your pup! He's beautiful!
Kim
It is soooooo much work to have a pup- and you of course know that as you have done your research which sadly a lot of people don’t do. The lack of sleep you get now will change it will be so rewarding after you put in all the time and effort to train him. There is nothing better than a dog’s unconditional love, loyalty, having a best bud for life. When he finally stops chewing up your leather shoes and sits still for 10 seconds to gaze into your eyes it will melt you. - He is gorgeous and I love the name you picked I want to smush my face into his flouff- ha ha… and I bet he smells so yummy!
Karen
He is so fluffy! He actually smells like Chanel Mademoiselle, because my niece was here last night and she wouldn't put him down, lol. ~ karen!
Janet Dippo
Oh, he’s wonderful! Enjoy his puppyhood. They grow up so fast.
Jeanne
Congratulations on your new puppy Karen. You will make a perfect puppy person. They are so energetic! My husband has a red standard goldendoodle, Archie. He is a wonder! I have to brace myself for his impact. He is a leaner and strong! Eight months of fun, so we are a little ahead of you. Moonlight trips in the snow will be exciting to say the least. So lucky for Philip to have you. Love the pictures and can't wait for future posts.
Jeanne
Angie S
I have two words for you - baby gates.
They've been a life saver for us with our Aussie/Border Collie mix, and the cats like them too!
Jan in Waterdown
Hmmmm…. I used to have a haircut like that back in the sixties but obviously my nose was smaller.
Glad to know you’ve found your soul mate!
Pamela Chasse
I was right!!
My heart dog was a Blue Standard "Riley"... he was not a dog... he was a little man in a Poodle suit. Everyone that met him agreed.
My current Standard "Charlotte" is the sweetest and friendliest poodle I've ever come across... but she's definitely a dog... not like Riley ;)
Best of luck with Philip... they are amazing companions.
-Pam
Karen
Thanks Pam! At Thanksgiving dinner last night everyone voted Philip the most "old man" of all our dogs/puppies in the family, lol. ~ karen!
Carol
Lady, I foster puppies so I definitely would have told you that they are cute little assholes. I have four six-week olds right now. That's four times the poop. And they are rescues so not entirely healthy yet so their poop is...unpleasant. I love them all anyway! Enjoy your new puppy! He'll drive you crazy for a few months but then he will be the best thing in your life.
Teddee Grace
My aunt and uncle had a standard poodle Pierre. They had no children and he was a total terror. They had to keep him shut in one of their bedrooms for a variety reasons...I think he humped guests' legs or something...and he had the carpet in that bedroom as well as the door totally ruined. Just don't spoil Lip. I think that may be the answer. Good luck.
Lauren
He's gorgeous! Any idea how big he'll get?
Diane Amick
My 11 year old miniature schnauzer gets the zoomies always upon coming inside from outside….every time. At 20 lbs he doesn’t do much damage. Thank heavens the 4 year old black labradoodle does NOT get the zoomies. 75 lbs of zoom doodle could get scary. Sorry to tell you black dogs are very very hard to photograph.
Karen
I know they are, I photograph things every day and black anything is difficult. It would be a LOT easier if this particular thing would stay as still as a soup bowl! ~ karen
Lisa
I was laughing throughout this post and love all the blurry shots. We're planning to get a puppy sometime next year, so I'll definitely be reminded of your post ;)
Heather
I’ve never read a more accurate portrayal of the first few weeks of having a puppy! It’s truly the type of insanity that if anyone HAD explained it to you, you wouldn’t believe it. I went thru the same thing when I got my Mikey (Maltese-Yorkie) mix… I would like to say he’s calmed down (which he has some) but I think I’m just used to the chaos now. I also have a mini poodle and she’s a sweetie. Got her at 5, so luckily a lot of the craziness was past.
I can’t wait to see all the adventures you and Lip! It’ll be worth it in end - nothing is better than a great dog! And keep that in mind! “It’ll be worth it in the end” cause you’ll wonder at times during the early puppy craziness 😂
Lois Baron
I'd never give a new mother advice but I am ridiculously willing to give new puppy owners advice. I'll refrain, for once. You will be doing yourself a favor, though, to log in to https://woofsdogtraining.as.me/puppy-chat -- a very experienced trainer who has a PhD in animal behavior does a free weekly one-hour session fielding questions about puppies. SO useful and practical.
Um, and you know that after the "mouthy" (i.e. bite everything) stage comes the "destructive chewing" stage, right? I didn't. hahahahahahaahaha. And the "adolescent" stage, where they forget all sorts of commands. But I am assured that by about 2 years old a dog will be fabulous in addition to being cute.
Mary W
I'm convinced there is something in dog food (now but not years ago) that causes Zoomies. I'm 75, have had dogs all my life, and only now have experienced zoomies. It is insane. I'm horror struck as he runs around VERY fast on the 24" seat of my small lounger - which is impossible. But he winds up and goes for it for 5 minutes straight then nips if I try to get him off, growls continually, then collapses on the couch and falls dead asleep. SO WEIRD! Zoomies? came in with the words Cray, Cray or maybe because of it. Certainly never experienced it before this Chorky - Chihuahua/Yorkie. If you look up pictures of the pups you will see the smallest, most adorable little pups - Not mine. The breeder (who got $750 for a supposedly 4 pound chorky) certainly didn't know her sweet 2 pound Yorkie mommy met up with an abnormally large Jack Russel while she wasn't looking. But love has a strange way of letting me ignore the wild hair, sticks up in weird whisps on his face, back, ear tips, and back of his legs. LONG whisps of strangeness. I ignore the bad cause love is blind. Oh well, good luck - your dog is much bigger so may wear out sooner and become just a dog instead of a zooming Cray, Cray.
Trish
He's wonderful. Beautiful coloration. You will make a striking couple. And you certainly made me LOL. The Zoomies. So that's what they're called. Simon and Ethan still have them at bedtime every night. They are 2 1/2. I love the name Philip, very regal sounding.
Liz from NC
So glad to finally meet Lip!! I have been faithfully waiting to see which of the amazing pups you teased us with would wind up to be yours. So glad that you are able to laugh, puppy raising is all about being able to laugh at ourselves, and still continue on. Lip will bring you so much joy, frustration and fantastic memories - too many to even count.
Enjoy the ride!! Nothing beats having a dog that loves you.
MindyK
The zoomies terrified me when I adopted a pit bull as my first-dog-as-an-adult. Friends inundated me with advice, but no one thought to mention the psycho sprints. Now I know to get out of the way and let her run—and enjoy her joy in tearing around the house at top speed. Good luck!
Karen
Philip is most controllable when he's training! The more training, the less zoomies he gets. I know this from my entire almost 2 weeks of owning a dog.😂 ~ karen!