Look how happy this lady is as she cleans her kitchen floor in her high heels. That's because she's drunk. For the rest of us cleaning is a chore, but these cleaning tips will help make it less hateful.
Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Karen. And I bought a sucky robot. Not a bad robot, but rather one that crawls around on the floor sucking things up.
A robot sucky thing. There are various brands but I bought the least expensive, most highly reviewed one. And then 2 years later I moved that Eufy upstairs and bought this newer model for downstairs.
I call it Lipo because it sucks away all evidence of potato chips.
One of the first "handy" things I ever did in my house actually was to install a central vacuum. I still love it but ... not as much as I love the garbage eating robot on wheels.
Had someone invented a Woomba I may have even given birth.
The magical vacuum aside, most house cleaning still has to be done by hand and no matter how special we think we are, deep down, we're all the same.
Common cleaning wenches.
It's a sad existence but you can at least be smart about your stupid, awful cleaning tasks.
Table of Contents
Cleaning Tips
Seriously. As far as I'm concerned Magic Erasers are one of the best inventions in cleaning supplies history. You have to be a bit careful with them, they'll scratch very delicate surfaces like lacquer, but for almost anything else they're literally erase any stain.
A Magic Eraser will even erase sperm shaped Sharpie marks on walls. Yes it will, I proved it a few years ago in this video:
I first tested this DIY mixture out many years ago with low expectations. But it worked GREAT. Just put a towel under your light, spray it on your chandelier and watch the grunge drip right off.
I'm not sure why it took me so long to figure out that buying black facecloths was the way to prevent staining all my white ones with mascara. I'm just glad I eventually figured it out.
I had a cat with renal disease. That means a cat that pees a lot and not always where they're supposed to.
It's a simple solution made with run of the mill household products and it actually works to get rid of the smell and some staining.
5. Oxiclean!
When I first got my front load washer I kept looking for the spot to put bleach.
Would you like to save this stuff?
We'll email you this post, so you can refer to it later.
There is no spot to put bleach.
Which is probably good because over time bleach actually yellows whites. Oxiclean on the other hand doesn't do that, is extremely gentle and WORKS. Read about the great pillow case experiment if you aren't convinced.
The pocket of my jeans was stuck together for months. I now have a hack for that.
In an INSTANT. This technique hasn't met a sticker it can't unstick.
Plus it's enormously satisfying.
Stainless steel looks great twice in its life. When it's BRAND new and ... actually that's it. Other than that, stainless is smudgy and smeary.
THE TRICK TO CLEANING STAINLESS? Using microfibre cloths, each getting progressively finer.
Corporations are sneaky. They - like you - want to make as much money as they can.
Which is why you can't easily refill a Swiffer Wetjet bottle with your own preferred cleaning solution.
Until now.
10. Clean Your Car Headlights
AND NO. It isn't toothpaste. This is a genuine step-by-step tutorial on how to get your cloudy headlights looking close to new again. Believe it or not this incredible result (on my own ancient Volvo) is the result of using SANDPAPER.
Clean Your Headlights like a Pro
They just work WAY better than I ever thought they would.
The Eufy is the way to go if you're looking for both affordability and performance.
Here's my (unpaid) review and a look at how robot vacuums work.
As you cook on it your cast iron stovetop is going to season itself.
The result will be a kind of sloppy, patchy looking grate where parts are seasoned from splattered oil and other parts aren't.
You can season your entire stovetop at once with this technique.
Now if you'll excuse me I have some exercises classes I'd like to organize where students had to avoid the path of a Roomba. I will call the class Roomba Zoomba of course.
Led by your instructor ... Lipo.
Hmmmm on the Magic Eraser - those things shed microscopic melamine they as used (micro plastic) not good for humans or the environment. Sorry.
I have the ultimate solution for cleaning stainless steel. Microfiber cloth and cleaning vinegar (30% concentration compared to 5% in regular white vinegar). Lightly dampen the cloth with vinegar, wipe the surface, and let dry. Cleaning vinegar also works wonders on cleaning the inside of dishwashers (you won't believe the gunk that comes out of the drain pipe), washing machines, etc. Just be cautious. Cleaning vinegar is acidic, so do not overapply or soak.
I bought no name magic erasers in bulk on Amazon,before l became a polical rebel and they were super cheap and worked just as well.
Over time vinegar will damage your stainless steel appliances especially the cleaning strength. A spritz of oil on the cloth is much safer on surfaces that show.
I love your blog! My Eufy vacuum/mop has only been with me 4 weeks now and my endless amount of tiled floors have never been so clean. Person in London I heard about it from calls his Conchita. I loved the name Conchita, but I am in Provence, France and I found out ‘Conchita’ is a derogatory term for a maid. So she is called Blanche. Betty arrived before her but only did vacuuming. I actually use them both still at different times. What a revelation! I can be playing in the dirt in my garden where I love the most, whilst Blanche is busy inside going from room to room, even washing her own mops in between. Amazing little invention.
I love your diy on cleaning a chandelier and was wondering if it would work with stained glass slag hanging lamps. I have several & am a smoker and am afraid to clean them hardly at all being clumsy. What do you think should I try?
My neighbor's outdoor cat wants to be my house cat. When she first came she went to the basement to pee. I put tomato juice on the puddle. Removed smell - and left a clean spot on the cement floor! Also, prior to that I was given a pair of sneakers for mowing. They stunk like cat pee. I tried washing, baking in sunshine, put in a bag with baking soda. Nothing helped. Finally put in a bag with tomato juice for a couple of days. Washed. Odor gone! No need to buy a chemical product - try tomato juice!
WOW thank you so much!
Love all this information. No chandelier in my house but small children have covered my windows with stickers....I already got a response from you on how to remove a sticker from a kid's shirt (and it worked...) and I am so very happy to learn a few other things provided. Thanks for this list.
Karen, you kill me. You're too much! Lolololol
Cleaning in heels cause she's drunk whahahahaha.
Did you miss your calling as a standup comic?
Netflix is missing your comedy segment (act).
I’ve learned so many great things from you. Please consider that Magic Erasers, while effective, crumble into microparticles that eventually end up in our water supply. I don’t want any more in me. Or in you. Tyvm
I bought a Eufy on your recommendation and it's the BEST thing since wrapped cheese!!! (and it is SO quiet) You're right, the first time you run it the dust pan is disgusting. I'm definitely 1000% on board and plan to purchase another one for my place up north. I'm so glad I took your advice. Thank you!
I'm glad it worked out! ~ karen
Magic erasers are great. Unfortunately, they don’t live long in my house! My long haired German Shepherd, Luka, doesn’t like clean walls. He believes in the “natural” look. From about knee height and down my tan walls have artistic swirls, spots and smudges in a lovely brown and red. I actually use a mop to get the worst of it off🤣
That's what all my windows look like, lol. ~ karen!
I bought a Eufy several years ago. Then I won an expensive Roomba in a contest at work. The Eufy works better and is much, much quieter. I can be on a video call in the same room as Eufy. I can't be on a video call in the same city as the Roomba. :-D
That's good to hear! Or not hear, as is the case. ~ karen!
I bought a bunch of black and navy blue hand towels for the kitchen. Best idea ever!
Isn't it?!! ~ karen!
Every. Single. Time… you sent out another post, I skip all the other emails to read yours first. Because. Your humor. Makes my day. Thanks for uplifting presentations, especially on things we all have to do and more often than not…dislike.
Thanks Gayle. That was a nice comment to get as I'm closing up shop for the night. :) ~ karen!
You are a fountain of information, or fount, or font, or whatever that word is. Thank you for doing you.
Thanks Thea! ~ karen! (actually let's go with phont) ;)
I have loved my robot vacuum for the last year or so. Until a couple of days ago when the unthinkable happened. My son is dog/house sitting while we are away and she had an poop accident that didn't get cleaned up before the eufy found it and spread it all over our basement carpet and hardwood floors. Barf! Carpet cleaners are coming tomorrow but that vacuum has gone in the garbage. I still have one upstairs will have to decide if we will keep using it. I think I will keep using it VERY carefully because it does do an amazing job cleaning.
NOOOOOOOO that would be so awful. Apparently there are poop-proof robot vacuums. Could be a fool me once scenario though. And the last thing you want to be fooled twice by is feces. ~ karen!
Karen I think dog poop lady should get rid of her son or maybe house train him.
Yes, I too found that Magic Eraser is great for removing little spots from a wall. Except Karen … you forgot to mention that after removing the little spots, you need to clean he entire wall with the Magic Eraser. Otherwise you end up with “extremely clean” spots on a somewhat clean wall. Experience talking here.
LOL, that depends on how dirty your walls are and how much your OCD is raging that particular day. On the weekend I DEEP cleaned my bedroom. Moved all the furniture to wash under and behind it etc. I starting wiping dust from behind the bed which turned into washing the wall by accident. I realized I'd better stop before things got out of hand. 😆 ~ karen!
Karen, you are a jewel because you entertain as you instruct on your many achievements & accomplishments while warning us on your few failures. Thank you 😊
Thank YOU Sara. :) Laugh and learn. That's my goal. ~ karen!
You know it’s late and you should definitely be asleep when you keep reading “how to clean your cat’s headlights”. It piqued my interest and I just HAD to finish reading this article only to realize that it was “car’s headlights” 😂😼 I guess my car will have to live with dirty headlights for now.
I mean, I'd click on cleaning a cat's headlights too. How could you not?! ~ karen
You are my hero! I recently colored my hair. I dropped the bottle and unknowing to me a big blob squirted on the bottom of my white cabinet. When I finally saw it, the stain had already set and ( I thought) ruined the cabinet. Nothing would remove it. I tried everything! Then I remembered your video with magic eraser. I used windex and magic eraser and every bit of the stain was removed!!!! Soooo thankful!
Yay! That's great. I will consider myself Hero for a day and act accordingly. ;) ~ karen!