I would like to take a moment to officially voice my disdain over the latest kind of Haunted Houses up and running for Halloween. I feel it’s my civic duty to bring these abominations to your attention. Like that time I told you about the ill conceived 1980’s invention: the Cherry flavoured potato chip.
Your community might have one of these horrors in your midst this very moemnt and you don’t even know about it so I encourage you to seek them out and protest them. They’re Haunted Houses … that aren’t haunted.
That’s right. They are unHaunted Houses. This is such a grotesque and appalling distortion of what Halloween is supposed to be that it sickens me. You know what Halloween without the haunt is?? It’s Easter.
I was listening to the radio the other day and there was an advertisement for one of these attractions. According to the soothing sound of the announcer, it was a family friendly Haunted House that wasn’t scary at all. So, um. That’s just a house, right? Am I missing something?
We are literally taking the scare out of scary because we’re scared of scaring someone.
IT’S HALLOWEEN.
The whole point of it is to be scared. And might I add, if a child can learn to confront their fears and walk past a dark corner that may or may not be hiding a Zombie with teenage acne, they’ll be able to confront even more terrifying things later in life. The ability to overcome fear is one of the most important qualities we can instil in children. We are currently raising a platoon of kids whose greatest fear is their iPad battery running out mid-YouTube video.
Which as everyone knows is only scary if you’re in the middle of a hair tutorial.
So today I bring to you the opposite end of the Halloween spectrum. My idea of Halloween. Unnerving. Disturbing. Creepy. But beautiful.
It’s Pretty Grimm.
A HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL HALLOWEEN
A lot of my Halloween decorations have been collected over the years like the realistic skulls, but even more of it has been DIYed. For anyone has hasn’t been following my every Halloween post for the past 7 or 8 years, I’ll point out all of the things that are DIY and link to the tutorials.
Bones. Chicken and turkey bones. When I make stock after Thanksgiving I save the bones, clean them, bleach them and then put them away because nothing comes in handier around Halloween than a box full of bones.
The Bone Wreath was the first thing I made out of real bones.
Read the tutorial on How to make a Bone Wreath here.
KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN AT FLEA MARKETS ALL YEAR
If you want a creepy vibe to your Halloween decorating, keep your eyes peeled at flea markets. I got this frame and portrait locally for $10. I didn’t have to do a thing to it other than put the creepy thing on display.
Actually I added some spiderwebs to it.
As I mentioned, I like for there to be some pretty mixed into the grim. So I’ve added in as many gold accents as I can. Like gold skulls or these metallic gold spiders.
The black fabric is just cheap cotton Halloween fabric from the Dollar Store.
The Witches Broom is one of my favourite Halloween DIYs from the past few years. This time of year there are branches falling down all over the place, which makes it the perfect time of year for scrounging materials for this.
Read the tutorial on How to Make a Witch’s Broom here.
IF YOU CAN ONLY BUY 2 THINGS, BUY SPIDERWEBS AND SPIDERS
Spider webs. Let’s have a little lesson on that right now. When I drive around neighbourhoods at Halloween the #1 mistake I see is people doing their cobwebs wrong. They’re too clumpy and thick. Now, I happen to have a lot of experience with real cobwebs so that’s why I might be a bit more of an expert than the rest of you.
When you buy spider web it comes in a bag in a clump. It needs to be pulled apart, separated and teased to within an inch of its life. Pull it apart until you don’t think it’s going to hold together anymore. THAT is the perfect spiderweb. Something so fine it seems breakable.
One bag of spider webbing should do your entire house, not just your front door if you’re using it right.
Like the taxidermy bat? Me too. It’s a regular decoration around these parts, not just for Halloween. Because I like creepy pretty much anytime of year.
I can’t teach you how to make a taxidermy bat (although I am thinking of taking a course) but I can tell you where to get one.
You can get a taxidermy (dried actually I think) bat on Amazon for $27. It comes without a display box.
You can get a taxidermy bat with a display box on Amazon for between $50 and $78.
If you missed my first post on these vintage doll parts you can read it here. They’re for the hard core creep lover. If anyone has ever looked at your Halloween decorations and proclaimed “Oh, that’s CUTE!”, then you will probably not like this. But I *do* know of an unHaunted house you might be interested in.
The book with eyes made its first appearance on The Art of Doing Stuff in 2012. The owl is from Dollarama.
You can read about How to Make a Book with Eyes in this tutorial.
THE DIE-O-RAMA
The Die-O-Rama is hands down my most popular Halloween DIY among readers. They like it when they see it during the day …
… but they love it at night when they see it lit up.
To learn How to Make a Pumpkin Diorama click here for the full tutorial and tips.
Even I’ve been known to go too crazy with the spider webbing as you can see here. It’s evidence. When I first decorated for Halloween I wanted the whole table covered in spiderwebs and it did look great, but it was a bit too much for me. But I wanted to show you a picture of it because it might not be too much for you.
I have one last simple but incredibly effective creepy Halloween DIY coming up for you on Friday. If you’re planning on cooking a chicken between now and then, keep the bones.
If you’re planning on attending an unHaunted Halloween house this year, maybe just skip Friday’s post. You might be too delicate for it.
I think actually the scariest thing is whatever device you’re using dieing in the middle of writing a comment.
If you were thinking of leaving a link for the dismembered dolls in this post you forgot to actually put it
Thanks Robert! ~ karen
SO true! I give up after my ipad crashes too many times. not enough memory to function properly?
Everytime I try to post a comment, my iPad poops out, that’s the proper tech term btw. Ok, well not this time . . .
Oh that bone wreath is the bhhhhest! But I don’t know that I’ve seen bones that big on a turkey! I’ll have to buy a much bigger bird this Christmas and start my own collection! My son once collected pork ribs and made me a huge heavy necklace! Damn, I wish I still had that disgusting thing! Thanks for being grossly inspiring!
Well, you’re very welcome. ~ karen!
Love it! The gold spiders & skulls? Brilliant!
I still love that bone wreath! We were eating fast food the other night and I almost told hubby and daughter to save the bones. I might need to make one. Why no moving porch ghost this yr? Or haven’t you gotten to the porch yet?
I haven’t done the outside yet. 🙂 ~ karen!
My Hallowe’en wreath. Based on a previous post. Now saving chicken bones!
strange! It was right side up when posted!
Looks great! I’ll have to pull mine out soon. ~ karen!
As soon as I read this sentence: ‘when you buy spider web it comes in a bag in a clump’ I knew for sure I’m from another planet. We don’t do Halloween here in deepest rural France! I feel like an anthropolist stumbling on the weirdest of weird tribe who boil bones, drape webs and stick eyeballs in books.
You people in France eat frogs legs. That’s terrifying! Wait. Maybe that’s just something I saw in a cartoon. ~ karen!
We may eat the frog legs but we don’t boil the bones and hang them on the wall!
Frog leg bones would make an excellent…I don’t know what. But it would be excellent! Maybe tiny bones inside the die-o-rama? Ha!
Hahahah! ~ karen
forgot all about the book with eyes, need to do ASAP! nice decor ~ classy and creepy at the same time!
Thank goodness I don’t have to clean up.
Diorama, bone wreath, book with eyes, beautiful white pumpkins, and oh yeah-the cat in the window. You need to touch up with black paint, though….
Happy Halloween Karen!
Thank you for sharing this house tour Karen. I’m a new reader, and I think this is a pretty good post to start on haha!
I’ve always loved the Halloween decorations that you come up with across the pond. In the UK, we don’t tend to go so big on decorating the house (or is that just me who doesn’t?). However, I enjoy reading about what our American and Canadian friends come up with at this spooky time of year.
Those mummy cats are especially creepy!
Also, I must commend you on your vast use of spider webs. That right there, is dedication. Having never used them myself, I must ask: How easy are they to clean up?
If they are outside and have been stretched across bushes and shrubs, impossible! That’s why I don’t use them outside anymore. But in the house, it’s very easy to just pull them off.
It sounds like you may have had some trouble in the past getting webs off bushes and shrubs Mary! I can imagine that must have been very tough.
At least they’re easier to deal with inside!
Very easy to clean up Emma. As long as you don’t have them draped on something rough that really grabs at them, they just pull off of whatever you have them hung on. ~ karen!
Oh! And welcome to The Art of Doing Stuff. ~ karen!
Oh that’s good then! At least you can go wild with webs and still have peace of mind that they won’t become a chore later on 🙂
And thank you Karen! I look forwards to reading more of your posts.
Can’t wait till Friday! But please tell me you are recreating your Fan Ghost this year – It was awesome, and I hope to make it this weekend 🙂
Me too, Jenny, I am only hoping the row cover I ordered from Amazon will make it here in time. It supposedly shipped a week ago, so I wonder if took a detour via Hong Kong?
If I have time I will. This is a very busy time of year getting the garden put to bed, putting away the outdoor furniture etc. I’ll try! ~ karen
I wish I liked Halloween ..great job Karen …
I completely agree on the spider webs. They have to be thin, and most people leave them on too chunky.
The word that comes to my mind is hauchdünn.
Ah-mazing. I love the subtlety of it–truly adds to the creepiness.
I generally do overall autumn decorations (leaves, mums, scarecrows, rusty objects), then add a few ghosts, witches, and jack o’lanterns for Halloween. When that’s over, I turn the jacks around to be plain pumpkins and trade the ghosts and witches for pilgrims and turkeys so it’s appropriate for Thanksgiving. That way I can decorate in September and be good ’til December. If only Valentine’s Day, St Patrick’s Day, and Easter were so thematically cooperative!
And if you are really into Halloween, this light fixture is a must!
http://amzn.to/2yH943O
Very spidery.
What about the mummy cats (Not the real one in the window)? Tell, tell.
The fella got them for me several years ago from a local drugstore of all things. ~ karen!
Darn. I was wanting a DIY. I think I will dye some gauze with tea and see what I can come up with.
Karen, found this on Amazon today. Thought you might want to add it to your Halloween collection.
http://amzn.to/2zLszsa
Oh, that *is* good! ~ karen
Thanks Alena!
Terrific rat skeletons! I just ordered two of them!
Will be wiring them to the outside banister.
Love it!
Susan.
Now THIS is how you decorate for Halloween. Thanks for being so creative and sharing it with us. I might be borrowing several ideas in the future!
That’s what I’m here for, lol. Borrow to your heart’s content. ~ karen!
My favorite holiday and I love over your take on it. We don’t do cutesy here either.
A Bridget Jones’ chick-lit shelved near Ayn Rand?! Are. You. Mad?!?
That skull & bone wreath is really cute though. I’ll have to do that with this year’s deer carcasses.
That’s gonna be one big wreath. And yup, I read it all and expect my books to be neighbourly and tolerant of each other. So far there haven’t been any scuffles. ~ karen!
And Dental Pathology on the end? Verrrrry interesting.
OMG! Let me know if you find a place to take the taxidermy course.I am so in.
Today would be a good day to order that tongue from the butcher for Halloween night.A big old hunk of liver will do in a pinch.Just lie in on the steps and apologize for the mess.It is hard to tell who is more horrified,the kids or the parents.
And for some really really cool Glam Spook check out this stained glass spider webs. Just stick them in a doorway for some instant decor. There are more than one type and color. I really love this shop!!
https://www.etsy.com/listing/502386578/black-glass-spider-web-cornerhome-decor?ref=finds_l
I totally agree with you on the cobwebs. I see houses all over that just do the clumping thing. You really need to stretch them out thinly and they go along way. I decorate very similarly to you for halloween so I LOVE all your stuff.
Thanks for the Halloween inspiration.
I think you meant “disdain” in your first sentence, not “distain”…
Sometimes we distain good spellin’. And that’s OK. 🙂
Love your post, as usual!
Another goulish addition to your “dec-horr” would be a Book of the Dead.
A memento mori. Common in Victorian times. First learned of this in the movie The Others with Nicole Kidman. One if my favorites for this time of year👻!
There is a store just up the street from me that you would LOVE!
https://id3469.securedata.net/necromance/catalogue.php?category=zoology
Check out the hanging bat in a bell jar.
LOVE the bat! ~ karen
Karen, you’ve done it again. Perfect for Halloween. We’ve stopped all the decorating because we don’t get trick or treaters anymore. I guess all the kids are going to parties now & our town has activities for them in the city park. But I really love seeing what you’ve done. Thanks for letting us in on it.
Those dolls…..OMG, that is truly creepy. I could not have those in my house, just too freaky. So many of older pics ha e that creepy vibe. Well done🎃👻
As much as I appreciate your creativity and individuality, my favorite color is orange.
So…….
LOVE your home! I forgot about your bones from last year and just through out a huge pile from a chicken and a bone-in pork shoulder. Why is it that when I clean, I ALWAYS regret the junk thrown away within one week? Always!
I love your decorations. I’d want to do similar, but being just me and my husband, who could care less, it seems like it’s not “worth it”.
Do you ever feel like that, since it’s just you? (and obviously, all the readers). Maybe I should start writing about my house just so I feel I have someone who cares.
I’ve always decorated for major holidays. Even before the blog. Same with cooking for myself. Before I was partnered up with my fella I still always cooked good meals for m just me. But yea, the decorating is definitely bigger and better knowing it’s going on the blog! Plus I like it to inspire people to do a little something and it’s hard to inspire with just a pumpkin on the table and a fake spider stuck to the wall. ~ k!
I formerly felt that way about holidays, except Christmas, until I noticed that my husband would change the background on his computer monitor for every holiday. So now I do it for him, because he enjoys that little bit of celebrating each holiday.
I don’t do much. For Easter, I’ve some very large eggs that I painted in metallic colors that I put into a large nest on the mantle I found outside after a heavy windstorm, plus some fabric flowers that I flatten and double-sided tape onto the mirror over the fireplace.
For Halloween it’s a plastic lighted pumpkin that goes on the porch, even though we never get Trick or Treaters, and some Halloween fabric draped over a corner of the window drapes, and a bowl of our favorite candy.
Those are just two examples. Neither takes any time, everything is in a single box out in the garage so it’s easy to find and put away. Doesn’t take more than 10 minutes to “decorate”, and now we both enjoy it!
Very classy… Sorta like you!
Fantanghoulis!
Where’s my invite? I’ve made some bleeding cupcakes and plate of severed finger sandwiches to bring.
Perfect! I haven’t had a good bleeding cupcake since “the incident”. ~ karen!
🙀😼😸
Happiest Hallows Eve and really Diggin your house theme. Thanks for sharing !
Heidi
You always do such a creative job of decorating! Atlas Shrugged? So did I. 🙂
Ha! I forgot that when I post pictures that include my bookcases everyone checks out my books. I always mean to put something weird in there. You know, weirder than dental surgery. ~ karen!
I see nothing wrong with sparkle glitter spiders at Easter. Sassy just when you need some celestial spookiness. Plus they go with the cobwebs on my Bible. LOL Love your haunted décor kiddo.
Thanks honey! ~ karen
omg YOU ARE THE MOST FUN
I love all of this. I have experience with real spiderwebs too, so I share your disgust at clumped bunches of fake webs…. your double gold mirrors are lovely, regardless of halloween, and the bones, oh man, the bones. *makes notes for thanksgiving cleanup*
Love. It. All.
Where do you keep all your stuff??? I decorate for every occasion…and I’m running out of room. I may have to get rid of someone around here!
What an awesome spooky collection you’ve made here! I like the witch’s broom the best! I think it’s very appropriate for a DIY project and will definitely try it!
Thanks for all the inspiration, Karen!
It looks great! Turned out perfectly. 🙂 ~ karen!
To my fellow Hauntress, I’m not really sure there are words for how Amazing your ideas are Simple, Elegant & Dare I say Scary? It’s as if you live inside my head, my pile of bones & skulls are growing but I do believe you have surpassed my imagination with your fabulous (Bone Wreath)? I am estatic to see someone who has the Intestinal Fortitude to KEEP Halloween as it has always been Thrilling , a little Mischievous & most of all Magical! Melo
Haha, scary looking stuff, Karen!
Spooky!!!