The title of this post is lie number one of a litany of lies to be found on the Internet.
You are NOT going to learn how to rewire a vintage phone. You are not.
I know this from experience. But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself as I am want to do when I'm in fits.
I have a number of oddities hidden in my basement. For instance there's this. And these.
Amongst the stuff is a collection of antique/vintage telephones. Some work. Some don't. You may wonder why I care whether or not a relic of a phone with an actual dial on it works or not. I like them. I like old phones. I like old things. And I particularly like old thing that can still be used. There's a certain nostalgia and sentimentality about using a big old handset. Plus if you're on it you can tell people you can't talk any longer 'cause you're stuck to the wall and you need to get things done. That excuse doesn't work if you're talking on a portable phone.
There's one in particular I've been wanting to get up and running for a long time.
This phone was in my grandmother's house in Renfrew, Ontario. It's not only in perfect condition, it's one of a couple of phones in my basement that have been part of my family for generations.
So some time before Christmas I decided to look up how to rewire some of my old phones with their vintage 3 wires ...
... to a modern phone line. One would think it's just a matter of attaching red to red, green to green and so on. But it's not. Sometimes this connection will get the phone to work to make and receive calls, but the ringer won't work. Or it'll make calls but can't receive them. Or vice versa. It's a messy business this phone wiring thing. They're like Fiats. Or Lindsay Lohan's brain. Nobody really knows how the wiring works.
I looked up a few tutorials on-line and a few videos on YouTube and one video seemed to have great potential. All you have to do is attach red to red, combine the green and yellow from the phone and attach them to the green of the phone jack line.
I'm not sure why I was shocked when it didn't work but it was the Opening a Wine bottle with a Tree Trunk all over again.
Around 3 hours into it I realized, this probably wasn't gonna work out for you folks. I would NOT be doing a post on how to make your vintage telephone ring.
But I wasn't giving up on mine. You see, I have that gene in me. That little slice of DNA that won't allow me to stop. I can't give up. I will get so angry and frustrated at points that I need to eat potato chips just to calm down.
Because of the Great and Stupid Paleo experiment, we don't have any potato chips.
So I got more angry and more frustrated and decided to work through it by eating a block of cheese. Which isn't very good alone in large portions so I also had some crackers. I'm O.K. with that.
You know why? That little respite from the stupid Paleo plan was enough to get me to settle down and figure it out.
I had another old wall phone downstairs that was wired properly so I dragged that upstairs and compared the guts. They were similar. Similar enough that I could figure out how to hard wire the new phone jack line into the old phone. It made calls and received them. No ring.
So I made some uneducated guesses moving wires and changing things and finally ... it rang.
The phone now holds court in the living room.
If I'd had a bag of potato chips around instead of just cheese and crackers I'm fairly certain I would have been able to resolve any and all conflicts in the Middle East.
And because you were kind of screwed out of any learning anything at all in this post, I have made for you this little video proving that my phone does indeed ring and work.
Vintage Phone ring
Proof of vintage phone working.
Yet another reason to love the olden day phones. No Skype.
Donna
Apparently you do not have to pay Bell the monthly charge for touch tone if you have the dial phone--lets all get one and that might their attention--hate that monthly rip off. Donna
Diane
Hahaha love it!
Nikki Kelly
Ok, now can you figure out how to make it work with an iPhone? Maybe some fancy blue tooth hack so it knows when you're getting a call, but the big phone rings instead. Oh, and I don't want to plug it in or any nonsense like that.
Nikki Kelly @ the ambitious procrastinator
Karen
LOL. Yes um. I'll get to work on that. Immediatelyish. ~ karen
Kathleen
what can I say. You are way cooler than most people I know.
Nancy
I have two old phones, one that is like yours and another that is cream bakelite with Japanese writing in the dials. I have gone over your photos to see if I can get mine to work too. Any chance you have a step by step DIY for the phone?
This was a great start.
Bobbi
"and", not any
Bobbi
Karen,
Thanks, anyhoo...I reloaded Adobe Flash even though everything I read said it wasn't necessary and it worked ! Yayyy....any just for your information, you look Mahvelous....your mom has nothing to worry about.-B.
Bobbi
Karen,
Bravissimo !! Watched the video, but no sound...the little speaker in the bar has a little x by it and I am unable to click it to get it to go away. Get sound on Netflix on my computer, but not on youtube or anything else. Just started about a week ago. No googling has helped. Any ideas ?
Karen
Bobbi - I used to know how to fix that when I had a PC but I've forgotten all the weird fixes I needed to know, now that I have a Mac. Sorry! ~ karen
David Egert
Hello Karen, Did you see this? Desk telephones of this vintage completely self contained! The Western Electric desk telephone with a rechargeable battery, Bluetooth circuity! Think of it a desk telephone from the 1950's converted to wireless Bluetooth! When a call comes in to your cell phone the original ringer starts up 'RING RING RING', pick up the hand set and answer that call! When you make a call just lift the handset to your ear you hear dial tone, to make a call use/spin the dial!
Some of the listed telephones even have lights behind the dial!
I ran across them on eBay, the listing even says that IF you send in a telephone you own it can be converted! Finding it again is easy, just use these three search words ' Western Electric Bluetooth ' lots of photos and even a converted steam iron!
Jeannie B
I have never heard of a telephone purse. Especially with a dial on it. Guess the woman of the house could have just said. "I'm going out, and no one's using the phone while I'm gone. 'Cause I'm taking it with me. So there!"
Barbie
......so? how'd you Mom like that one? LOL
No worries, just invite her over for some Dill Pickle Chips!
Lin N
Well done on figuring out getting the phone to work! Great old phone! Love yer 'cowlick'. Weird term that.....have a brilliant day!
Susan
Gawd I love you!! I miss the old Stromberg Carlson phones that you could drop and they'd still work. It's all crap out there now. xoxoxo!!!!
DianneT
My Dad had the DNA to stick with something until he figured it out. I think I'm lucky to have inherited some of that DNA from him, but sometimes I drive my family crazy! Loved your post and that video was hilarious!
Jrn
By the way,retiring thermostats and phones like you are all willing to tackle? Such courage! I might try the phone though (rewiring). But not the thermostat.
Shauna
oh darn it, my Mom has a phone nearly identical to this one and I was hoping we would be able to rewire it so it would work too. I don't think I have the DNA like you do to experiment until it works.
Jrn
Oh, wait! I found a better site with the phone purse http://www.tassenmuseum.nl/en/permanent-collection/shapes
The Tassen Museum of Bags and Purses and they are NOT trying to sell anything. Made in the 1980s-or1970s and apparently rediscovered by Lady Gaga (never thoughti'd have anything in common with her) http://gagafashionland.com/2011/10/new-york-calling-lady-gaga-dallas-handbags/
Jrn
Love that phone! I want one. As an obsessive garage sale shopper I actually found an old telephone purse which actually works as a phone- IF you plug it into the wall jack!
Is there anyway to upload photos here ? Anyway, my purse is this one but I bought it for$5 not $119 or whatever: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vtg-BLACK-PATENT-LEATHER-PUSH-BUTTON-PHONE-HANDBAG-PURSE-/271149781064?pt=Vintage_Electronics_R2&hash=item3f21c95048 I have NO connection to that auction but I can't find a good photo of that purse anywhere.
Heather S.
If I had a land line I would do this! Sadly no land line and my cat would probably chew through the cord. Awesome video! Your hair looked fine. it was full of character.
Linda
Awesomeness! I do love that old ring. I bought a 60's model from Goodwill and I love the "heft" of holding on to it. The pulse dialing does take a long time, but who cares?! Love your pj's and punk hairstyle...
Nancy Blue Moon
The phone looks great and you look..kinda like I do at the moment..but skinnier and blonder..pj's at 12:30pm..good day here..It's not nice to lie to your Mom..although so necessary at times..