I bought magnetic eyelashes. Like a weirdo.
I stand before you, a clear lashed woman, who wants two simple things in life. To be able to do the splits (either direction) and to be able to have luxurious eyelashes. I know. It makes no sense. I don't even stretch on a regular basis. I'll never be able to do the splits.
But eyelashes? That one's doable. Magazine pages, CNN commentators, grocery store cashiers ... everyone has some sort of fake lash apparatus on now. You can't walk down the street without almost being knocked to the ground by someone's enormous set of eyelashes.
So I decided. I wanted to try wearing some kind of fake eyelashes. I have friends who have semi-permanent eyelashes that have to be touched up every few weeks. No. NO. I have enough to maintain in my life without having to maintain eyelashes. If anything's going to be maintained around here it's gonna be my roof.
Then I remembered hearing about magnetic eyelashes. I think it was Betty who told me about them. I did a bit of research and discovered that magnetic eyelashes are very expensive. About the same price as a new roof as a matter of fact. For 2 sets of One Two Lash (which is the original inventor of the magnetic eyelashes) the price is $69 American. Once you convert that, add in shipping and duty, the One Two Lashes were going to set me back over $100.
But I was doing this for science so it was worth it.
And yet, there were also cheaper options on Amazon. I could get a set of magnetic eyelashes from China for about the price of a few roofing shingles. $10.
So I ordered both and committed to an eyelash experiment for you. My blogging friends who might want to get into the eyelash market.
Before you get all worked up into a lather, I've done as much research as I could possibly do and have not found any harmful effects about having magnets around your eyes, let alone magnets the size of a grain of rice. So no, magnetic eyelashes aren't bad for your eyes.
The double set of magnetic eyelashes from One Two Lash came in a Chanel inspired box that makes that incredibly satisfying "click" sound when you close it.
The Chinese eyelashes came like this.
Like this. This is how they arrived. I felt like a Princess.
I went with trying the One Two Lashes first.
The premise behind magnetic lashes is you wear two sets of eyelashes on each eye. Each row of lashes has a small magnet in the centre of them. One sits on top of your real lashes and the other one sits below. Once they get near each other, the magnets click together.
I DIDN'T WEAR ANY MASCARA FOR THESE PHOTOS SO YOU COULD BETTER SEE THE FAKE LASHES.
You start by grabbing the top set of lashes and resting it on your own lashes.
You can see the magnet in the centre. The magnet is very, very thin.
You just rest it on there as close to your lash line as you can get it.
Then let it fall off. Repeat this sequence approximately 72 million times. Break to practice the splits then do it another 72 million times.
Finally you'll get the hang of resting the lashes on your own lashes. Then comes the hard part. Bringing the lower set of lashes up underneath until they click into the right place. "Right place" being the operative words here.
You will hate these eyelashes at this point. You will say they're stupid and it's impossible and you hate everyone and everything.
Then you'll have a drink. An alcoholic one. And the process will start all over again over the next few days. Until one day, it'll happen. Just like riding a bike, all of a sudden you'll find your balance and all will be right with the world.
You will be SO thrilled that you finally figured out how to put these stupid things on that you will be willing to overlook some of their idiosyncrasies. At least for the first few minutes. Then you'll start to notice a few problems.
Like the fact that these eyelashes are completely straight for some reason. STRAIGHT. Eyeballs are not straight. They're curved.
I don't know why the makers decided straight was the way to go for eyelashes, but for some reason they did. The concept is genius, and these eyelashes are SO close to being brilliant but they're not.
They're also awfully glamorous for someone who just wants a bit of a lift. They're long and luxurious which is perfect for Dino's girlfriend Sassy, not so perfect for me.
ARE THE CHEAP MAGNETIC LASHES ANY GOOD?
Maybe I'd get lucky and I'd discover that the cheap, Chinese eyelashes were fantastic and I'd be able to recommend these $10 beauties to you.
The packaging was promising. Anything that looked this horrific to begin with surely had nowhere to go on the scale of 1-10 other than up.
I specifically ordered these lashes because they had 2 magnets on each lash which I saw as a bonus. It was a bonus magnet.
I tried to keep that upbeat attitude whilst hefting them out of their Pepto-Bismol pink case.
If I thought attaching one magnet was difficult, attaching two in the right place was harder than doing the splits in both directions at the same time.
The magnets on the cheap Chinese lashes were the elegant size of bricks.
Buy at least they looked good. I found the massive space in between the upper and lower lashes made a perfect spot for holding pens, knives or any other metal object that happened to be attracted to the brick magnets.
In conclusion I cannot at this point recommend either the One Two magnetic lash or the hilariously ridiculous Chinese lashes.
But it's killing me. The One Two Lashes are SO close to being great. The actual lashes look great. If only they'd curved the strip. If only they weren't $100.
If only I could do the splits.
Something a bit more reasonable than substituting your real lashes with fake ones and expecting great results, is substituting hair conditioner for shaving cream. Honestly. It's the best hack ever, plus there are 4 other things you can use if you run out of shaving cream as well.
Update! I now use Latisse and it works GREAT. You can read my post on it here.
→Follow me on Instagram where I often make a fool of myself←
Jo-Ann
And yet - in the little thumbnail picture you/they look good! It gave me a little thrill of hope that you might have solved The Lash Problem. After a solid 20 or so years of curling and mascara-ing, and another 10+ of giving up while parenting and aging ungracefully, my lashes are well nigh undetectable. Certainly not enhancing in any way. So lately I've been trying the lash goo. It's a product called Plume, and it's made in Canada (in Alberta I think), that I saw promoted on the Marilyn Denis show I think with a 50% off code. Still not cheap but reasonable I thought compared to other ones I'd heard of like Latisse. I've yet to see any appreciable difference, perhaps because I haven't used in the morning and night religiously for 3 months yet because it's a bit oily and gets into my eyes and I loathe that smudgy vision thing (esp. added to the same from my supposed-to-work-but-don't-quite-for-me progressive lenses).
What I want is long-er somewhat full-er lashes that Look natural-ish. False lashes Always look false. Am right put off by all those TV hosts who look like they have great bit black strips of fur on their eyes. Don't want to put on mascara (and I've yet to find one that doesn't clump or have little gritty bits no matter what the company or anyone says to the contrary). And I think that the lash curlers are a big part of what damaged my lashes in the first place. Apart from the aging bit.
The best 'solution' I've seen is on a local young woman who works at the grocery store. I had to ask because they were so long, lovely and natural looking: "are you naturally blessed or are they 'enhanced'" I asked in as non-creepy a way as I could. She was very kind and told me they were extensions. So I had resolved to save up for these wonders. But now I read here that extensions require somewhat more 'maintenance' than I was thinking? Does that mean going back again and again to redo them Frequently (and so $$-$)? That you cannot sleep with your face mashed into a pillow (as I do)?
Am so wishing our notions of beauty (well, maybe just ordinary attractiveness) returned to the days of yore where those sometimes strange looking women-with-undetectable lashes confined their enhancements to their cheeks and lips. I'll skip the beauty marks, the lead paint, and the piled up hair though.
But thanks for this foray into the imperfect world of lash options for us. The close-ups showing the non-lash-line conforming ends do look truly strange, but the thumbnail looks great. So maybe we should just keep everyone we want to Think we have lush lashes at 2 or 3+ arm lengths distance? Or reserve their use for talk-show gigs.
Shirley
Okay, Karen, you can relax, I’ve got this! Jo-Ann, I’m calling this the “Comment of the Day.” My gosh, you write well, and at 6:26 AM, no less. Brava! (P.S. I have one final word for you: Bifocals)
Karen
You do need to touch up lash extensions. Around once a month you need to have them "filled". So that's not something I want to do either. :/ ~ karen!
Thandi
Would heat work? We can't just give up! This is for science dammit!
Obviously too much heat and they'd melt, or the magnet would fall off. A hot coffee cup maybe? No, that would just be a temporary fix.
You realise I'm going to be waking up at 2am with "but what if you just..." moments for the next few weeks.
Karen
I tried heat Thandi. I curled the lash strip around my finger and also a makeup brush and hit it with a bit of hot air from my hair dryer then let it cool. It bent a teeny little bit, but just reverted to its natural straight state soon. ~ karen!
Rhonda N.
What about using some sort of starch to form the bits into a curve? Surely there's a stiffening agent that's safe around the eye area?
Jenny W
1-Thank you, you just saved me some $$$!
2- I have been using a mascara that has fibres in it to lengthen and thicken my eyelashes.
One swipe of the mascara, followed by one swipe of the 'fibre' tube, then finished with another coat of the mascara. As much or as little as you like, where you like - and it's Great! Legendary Lashes $19 at a good drug store near you.
3- It seems that you have a strange person, standing in your doorway with a canoe paddle, ready to strike- the eyes don't lie!
4- Happy Weekend :)
Nicole
OMG, I had to scroll back up to take a look at what you are talking about. It totally looks like there's a paddle-wielding something-or-other there, you're right! Check the reflections in Karen's eyes!
Karen
1. I haven't completely given up on them yet, I still have some kind of sad little hope for them, lol. 2. I've tried fibre mascara, it works quite well. 3. That's my tripod and camera. :) 4. Thanks! ~ karen
Louise
Thank you so much for doing this! I'm sure I would have been tempted to buy these and I can't afford to spend that much money unless it's going to be a huge success. Can you return the expensive ones? I think you should! And tell them why!
Lori Colleran
I love it!! You're so funny!
Gayle M
Yeah, I have enough problems dealing with straight hair, so straight lashes would push me over into the abyss...
Thank you for, in the name of science, keeping us out of the abyss.
Mama Toto
I saw a picture on Facebook the other day of the latest trend .......using fake eyelashes for nose hair !!! Don't know if the magnets would work though!
Carswell
Good lord. Since when does anyone WANT visible nose hair???
The mind boggles.
Elaine
I know I speak for all of us readers, Karen, when I say a big “thank you” for the in-depth research you do for us and thanks for the laughs. Your blog is like the box of chocolates in Forest Gump! I never know what interesting or funny or weird subject each post will bring me ... but they are all great!
I have a “beauty” problem and wonder if others have the same issue. I’m fair skinned, my legs never tan so I resort to faux tanner from the local drugstore. With age, I now have darker spots of pigment here and there so when I apply the self tanner, it nicely colors the “normal” parts of my legs BUT darkens the already pigmented areas. I’m wondering if (when you get bored with your magnetic lashes), you’d care to do some research on faux tanner for us poor souls with uneven skin. You look as though you have lovely even skin so I may have to wait another 35 or more years when you reach my age ... which may mean you’re going to be too late! 😉
TucsonPatty
A girl friend years ago told me she painted over her "spots"with clear nail polish before applying the self-tanner. Maybe she picked the polish off later? Maybe she used matte polish instead of shiny so it didn't matter? My legs are too freckled for this to work..everyone will just have to put on their sunglasses to look at my legs!
Elaine
Nail polish?! 😳. Wow! After I stopped laughing while drinking my morning mug of tea, I thought to myself “why not”! I may just try this ..... maybe! Thanks so much TucsonPatty! Maybe it’s time to reveal my “other use” for clear nail polish at the age of 14/15. I loved Audrey Hepburn’s pointed little “pieces” of bangs in the movie Sabrina. My hair was blonde, wispier, fluffier and just didn’t form those little “points” so I dabbed clear nail polish on the very tips. It worked like a charm. I think there was a gel product out there called, Dippity-Do that would have also done the job but I was unaware at the time. The things we do for beauty!!
Karen
Why not have those spots removed at a dermatologists office? I'm not sure what laser or sandpaper or machine they'd use but I'm sure it could be done. :) Either that or just use a Q tip to remove the self tanner from the dark spots on your legs as soon as you've applied it. Those would be my suggestions. ~ karen!
TucsonPatty
Oh, Karen, you just think things through more thoroughly than I do. That why you are the genius blogger, and I.......well, I am not! I'm am wondering, as a former Dippity-Doo aficionado, how did that nail polish come off later? The hairsytlist in me is imagining the 80 to 100 hairs that you naturally lose every day were hanging off the ends of those wonderfully spiky bangs! If they were long enough, they might have been the false eyelashes we needed! You had the idea first!
Dawn
Karen,
You just get better and better I swear! LMFAO here.....I fell for this mesmerizing concept and shelled out the big bucks about 2 years ago.......two years and many, many alcoholic drinks later, there is no way these things don't look like a spine caterpillar about to cocoon on my face.....it was a brilliant concept, but I don't feel nearly as bad now about my ineptitude; I mean, if someone who does as much from scratch as you with ZERO trepidation (including removing flystrike from hens butts) and whose own mum has a doormat that says "Oh, shit not you again" (HAVE to get one of these myself).....
Carole
“...a perfect spot for holding pens, knives or any other metal objects”... great! Now you’ve destroyed my relaxing melatonin slumber! Full outsnorting does that you know.
Oh Karen!
Valerie
Your post Karen was so very funny as well as revealing about the things we woman play at.
I don't really understand how these eye lashes you procured work. Magnets normally have to attach to metal do they not? If so how can they possibly attach to one's eyelid? Can you please explain this Karen?
I have read Latesse lotion (sp.?) is effective but expensive and one must continue using this product to have the nice long lash result.
And more news on the eye lash front - some poor woman somewhere in the USA tattooed her eye lids and has negatively effected her vision.
Many years ago I purchased a box of false eyelashes and tried determinedly for 20 minutes to stick them to the correct place on my upper lids. In the end they just looked goofy. I solved this problem though as I put them down the toilet and never looked (no pun intended) back.
Gayle M
Valerie, there is a magnet on the top and bottom lashes, which attract (well, are supposed to anyway) each other, pinning your natural leashes between them. So you can see why it takes 72 million times to position them. On TV, it looks so simple. Key word: looks. lol
Angel
Your post was funny but I have used the one two lashes for a few months now and love them. They didn't cost that much and I get them on faster than mascara. Get plenty of compliments. Great find for me. To each his own I guess.
Karen
They cost exactly that if you're in Canada. Slightly over $100. They're quick to put on once you get the hang of it. But they're straight and don't bend to the lash line. You could literally see them sticking out straight on my eyes. I showed people and all of them said, Oh no. No, no, you can't wear those. It may have something to do with eye shape or size, but according to the other reviews a lot of other people have an issue with them being so straight. Like I said, they're close to being genius. Just not quite. ~ karen!
Tina
I have very short, very skimpy, very pale lashes. I also have a friend who (professionally) puts on the individual “lash extensions”. They’re not too expensive but I agree, way too much maintainence! She keeps trying to persuade me but honestly, if someone is going to judge me by my insignificant lashes, screw them! Thanks for trying out the magnetic lashes, saves me wasting my time and money!
Paula
Very, very funny! lol Bricks and gaps for pens and knives, the exact choice of words to associate with eyelashes!
Kathleen Aberley
I never even knew these things existed. Where have I been? However, now that I know and have read your hilarious post on applying them, I doubt I'm going to rush out and buy them!
I read with great sadness that Gord Downie has passed away. You introduced me to the Hip's music recently and have been an avid fan since then. I am truly saddened by his passing. It feels to me as if Canada has lost a son and the world has lost a magnificent musician and wonderful person.
Karen
Thanks Kathleen. It's hard to describe the feeling in the country now. None of us can explain what Gord Downie was to Canada and I think we're all surprised at how important he was to us. He was just an extraordinary, ordinary man. :) ~ karen
Dale Lacina
I Googled Gord and found this nice article of his life as I listen to his music on Spotify. Gone too soon. http://www.macleans.ca/gord-downie-obituary/ RIP GD.
Grammy
I had never heard of Tragically Hip before Karen began a conversation about music quite awhile back. I googled and found I liked them very, very much. Then, at some point, I read that Gord Downie was ill and I felt so sad that someone so talented and admired has things happen to them. Then, on my way to pick up my grandson from school, I heard on NPR how profoundly his death affected the entire nation of Canada, and I thought of Karen. Then I heard Justin Trudeau barely able to maintain his voice as he spoke about how much this man meant, and I thought again of Karen again, and how kind she was to offer sympathy recently to those of us south of her border for our many disasters, and I intended say something to her and all of those who loved Mr. Downie.
I'm sorry this is so late, Karen, but please accept my sincere condolences on the passing of someone who obviously affected a nation of good people in a way they deserved to be affected. I appreciate you having introduced him to many of us who otherwise wouldn't have known what a great loss this is to the world.
Karen
Thank you Grammy. No one can really fully put into words why he meant so much to Canada. But he did. ~ karen!
Lisa
Oh my gosh! I keep picture a cat trying to attack your lashes. In my house they'd probably get thumped by a thong - as someone mistook them for a weird bug. Fabulous!
Tina
LOL!!! I read your comment about 4 times before I understood the lashes being beat on by a flip-flop! I thought you meant a g-string type thing!
Lisa
OK that made me splurt my coffee..."image of g-string beating off a magnetic eyelash"...I'd be driven to drink.
Trish
So glad you cleared this up. I was wondering why anyone would kill a bug with their underwear!!
JVF
Thank goodness! I was afraid I was the only one trying to figure out who swats bugs with underwear.
Grammy
I thought, oh no! Lisa leaves her underwear lying around the house? That's the only reason it would be readily available to swat a bug. Unless...oh, no, Lisa -- you don't strip off your panties when you spot an insect! Here I was thinking I was hanging out in a relatively nice establishment where once in awhile the host makes us giggle with a little off-color banter, but then Lisa hurled her panties at a housefly and I remembered what my mother said about the company you keep.
The worst thing is, I am old, so I grew up knowing that a thong was casual footwear. Then I spent years trying to readjust my thinking because I found out what passes for underwear in the younger set. So my internal vocabulary was brought up-to-date. And then Lisa conjured up an image in my febrile brain of how one would go about thumping a bug with their underpants (taking them off, first, was my second thought) and I completely forgot that Karen is walking around with ugly black brushes hanging off kilter on her eyelids and now even she has started drinking.
It's almost noon here. I'm going back to bed.
Terry
Oh my the post was funny enough but these replies are killing me. And yes I pictured underwear too.
Tina
Oh Grammy! We're apparently "of an age" because all that was racing through my mind...but I must admit, I never once thought of Lisa as trying to swat the bug with her undies still ON! Dang, now I need a glass of wine!
Jeanne
Here I am late to the party once more. I am of a similar age Grammy, but underwear also came to my twisted mind. It is so nice to come here to snort coffee through my nose. Where else can you do that?
ecoteri
When my niece, now 31, was around 17 years old, she was at a beach with my sister. As Jessica walked down the beach barefooted, Debbie hollered after her (really loud) "JESS, DON'T FORGET YOUR THONGS".
My sister then collapsed in a heap of laughter as her daugher turned around with deathray eyes and Debbie remembered that the word 'thong' has changed meaning from when we were kids. Debbie (and I) still laugh about this. Jess is almost old enough to laugh about it too... Almost....
Lynn
Really magnetic eye lashes who thinks up this stuff.... what was my first thought . Then I started to laugh as you explained just how hard it is or was to apply them . I wish to thank you Karen for your adventuress nature.
Karen
I'm not giving up on them. They were a) too expensive and b) there's too much potential! ~ karen!
Brenda
Can you kinda melt the fishing line over a curling iron for a minute and then let them cool with a slight curl - if it works it could open up a job for someone which could help the economy, too.
dana
That would be so funny. What do you do? I'm a magnetic lash curler.
Susan Hollier
Maybe you could curl the expensive lashes with a regular eyelash curler?
Karen
That's not the portion that isn't curled Susan. The lashes themselves have a curl. It's the base of them. The thing all the lashes are attached to that's straight. There's no curve to it. Upon further inspection I've discovered it's basically a piece of clear fishing line. ~ karen!
SusanR
If it's basically a piece of clear fishing line, you might be able to shape them with some heat. Heated water might be the best route, and when they're softened, form them over something round, like a small styrofoam ball, to get the shape you want, pin them and let them dry. They "might" retain the shape.
Robert
I normally laugh with your post at some point but you are killing right now with this one.
You're totally ready to take the beauty blogin business by surprise.
Maybe the cheap pair for an artsy theme Halloween costume this year?
Karen
I don't even remember this post being funny, I'll have to go back and re-read it. I wrote it a few days ago. Maybe I was drunk. Do you think I was drunk? I don't really drink, but I wouldn't really remember if I was a drinker or not if I drank a lot. omg, how do drunk people ever remember anything? And no wonder they never think they have a drinking problem. They don't remember drinking. ~ karen!
Jani Wolfe
Had seen an info commercial on these and wondered how they really worked! You are the best! I was in tears looking at your selfies with your best effort to get them on. I like you would have lost my patience very quickly. Probably would have put them on one of my Yorkie's for Halloween!!
Wendy
I literally Laughed Out Loud at this post! I had seen magnetic lashes at the Showcase store and wondered if/how they worked. Now I know! Still laughing my arse off! You da best!
Patricia
I've been reading you for about a year & had not felt compelled to respond until today. I've looked at ads for these magnetic eyelashes for awhile and am so glad that you were the one to try them out - so I don't have to. I nearly always laugh out loud while reading your posts, but this one took the cake! Like you, I have very light colored lashes. I get them tinted - it lasts about two months. Doesn't make them thick like mascara, but at least makes them visible.
Thanks for all the laughs.
Have you tried those foot patches you put on the bottom of your feet to "pull out the toxins" while you sleep? Used to be advertised on late night T.V. Would love you to review those!
MElissa
Lol lol I was contemplating learning how to put a curse on the evil soul(s) that invented this product....but was to embarrassed to admit I bought them 😂🤣🙃🙃