It has been exactly one year since all hell broke loose in this household. Happy anniversary to me.
One year ago today right in the middle of me renovating out kitchen, without warning, without reason, the fella walked out the door and never came back.
The house was a mess, my life was a mess, and there was nothing I could do about it other than deal with it as best I could. And as the worst year of my life came nearly to an end, the fella's father died.
This year was a horror. It was a horrible, awful, tear and rage filled year and today it comes to an end.
If this year I am run over by a bus, have a spider lay eggs in my ear and get the gout, it will still be a better year than last year. So here's hoping.
One of the things I stopped doing this past year was make a weekly menu. I didn't do it because the fella wasn't here to cook for plus I didn't have a functioning kitchen or a real desire to cook. And even if the kitchen was technically functioning it was ripped apart, meaning my olive oil may have been in the mudroom, my big pan under my bed and the wood spoons somewhere I hope to figure out soon.
So this week, on this day, as a way to start my next year on a good note I've decided to (at least for myself) start doing weekly menus again. It's something I always loved doing. Making the menu and then making the food. I thought I'd lost my love for cooking this past year but once I took a look at my new kitchen I realized I hadn't lost it at all. It was just hibernating.
The kickstart was when I decided to make a true pie (apple, which happens to be the truest of the true) in honour of the fella's father this week. Making the dough and stirring the sugar into the apples, stirred something inside of me.
I WANTED TO COOK! And eat.
So I headed to the chalkboard and for the first time in a year I wrote down a weekly menu for myself. I can't guarantee I'll be posting the weekly menu here every week, but I will the odd time.
If you've been knocked off your rocker for any reason this past year, I hope this weekly menu might stir something in you.
Recipes
I look forward to a year of garnishes, greens and gout. And I wish the same for you.
Jasmine
Well you're a bit of a hero. Good work. I can't wait to see a picture of you in your new kitchen. Baking a pie or making yogurt tampons. I'm cool with either one. And btw, I have the exact same coffee maker as you. Yum. One of the best purchases we have ever made. You were right about that too.
Cred
It's odd, feeling strangely connected to someone you've never met- online readers would fall somewhere in between stalker and star-struck tween if you were to admit the connection you feel to a blogger you follow. But as odd as it seems, there it is... The funny lady who gives you a daily chuckle and shares brief tidbits of her life, can bring you to tears just as though you were an old friend. When you first told us of the fella leaving, I cried and felt that pain in the pit of my stomach. And I cried again when you told us of the fella's father passing, and I just now choked as you described baking a true pie in remembrance of him- for a man I only knew through a few stories from a woman I've never met. It's such an odd place to sit but the emotions are real. Whether readers are little more than new millenia groupies or not, we care. Wishing you the best of years, starting today.
Tigersmom
Thank you, Cred, for putting my feelings into words.
Arianne
Beautifully said Cred. Made me tear up. Hugs to you and Karen!
Tracey
Cred, that was so well said and I second all of it.
Karen, I've been reading for a long time now, but never comment. I guess I'm a lurker. But I too wanted you to know how greatly you enrich my life and give me confidence to try new things. I love your humour and used to love watching you on the tv. It seems it was a few minutes between other tv shows....I can't remember what I watched, but only remember you providing those few minutes of hilarious.
I thought I should de-lurk to say you mean a lot to me. I may even get chickens. How do I watch the chicken cam? I never was able to see it. Are there stored videos we can watch?
And I hope the coming year is the very best for you.
Karen
Hi Tracey - Thanks for coming out of Lurkdome! I'm happy to inspire. That's the point of all this. To let people (women especially) they can do whatever the hell they want with a little instruction and little courage. The coop cam is down because I accidentally broke the camera by leaving it out all day in the rain. I hope to get my pennies together to buy another one which I will take better care of soon. ~ karen!
Karen
Thanks Cred. :) And I do feel and appreciate all of the support from my readers. It is definitely real. ~ karen!
Ev Wilcox
Again, thanks for saying it for me. We DO love her, having never met. It sounds kind of silly, but we do!
Karen
:) It makes perfect sense to me Cred. I've been on television for years so I'm used to people feeling like they know me when I don't really know them. But, with this blog, I actually do feel like I know you all a little bit through your comments. For instance I know you like crisp, clean linens and you didn't like the Woefield Poultry Collective. :) And of course, you're very nice. ~ karen
Kim from 3 peanuts
This is a great response…you DO get to know us here I guess via our comments. Like I feel as though I know Marti and Tigersmom from their daily comments here.
I too cried when I heard about the fella leaving last year and when I read about the fella's father and this one made me get a lump in my throat too. I am a marriage and family counselor so I hear a lot of leaving stories but cred's right…you feel like a loved one and friend and so we all felt kicked in the gut (albeit not as hard as you felt it). I am so glad all the pieces of what we love about you (cooking and menus included) are coming back. That is healing.
Best,
Kim
Barbie
What Cred said! Ditto Ditto Ditto! Your are truly loved Karen! Heres to a new and glorious year!
Jody
Bless your good and strong heart. I'd say you win.
judy
Wow! talk about one of life's gut punches that must have been a doozy,but you are a spectacular human being(obviously) and so you prevailed and seem to be doing quite well for yourself. Wonder what he's doing? Bet he doesn't have a brand new kitchen and a very impressive fridge and even more important he doesn't have you.
Laura Bee
Beautifully said. It makes me happy to know you are renewing your love of baking & cooking. I have missed the menus.
I killed a centipede tonight & thought of you.
I may make the tart for Friday dinner.
Thanks for being there. Feeling like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs as the saying goes.
Mama Toto
Hi Karen - I haven't been reading your blog for very long (found you via a Lee Valley newsletter!), but I have to say one would never know from your writing that you've had such a hell of a year. I've enjoyed reading and you are truly witty, funny, and down to earth. Now that the year is over I wish you all that you wish yourself.
Karen
Hi Mama Toto - I'm so glad you told me you came from the newsletter! I'm always curious about how people find their way here. Yeah, it's been hellish. I lost my funny for about 3 days. Then it came creeping back. You should go back and read the first post I wrote after taking a month off from blogging after the fella left. My love letter to Idris Elba, lol. I returned with a bang. :) ~ karen
Mama Toto
You're a night hawk too! Your letter to Idris was brilliant, LOL!
Susie Heller
You are a strong women. I have been reading your column for several years and laughed and cried along with you. I am glad you have passed the one year mark. I understand that is a huge milestone. I am about to get a divorce after 43 years of marriage so will be glad when I too reach the one year mark. However, I hate to cook now so will probably not catch some great new talent for it. I think I could be struck by the senior citizen bus sooner that being hit with a cooking gene that I lack. Best to you and keep your knockers up!
Karen
Hi Susie - 43 years. 43 years! That's a lifetime. This is a major life change for you. It will be sad and scary and intimidating. Until it isn't. Which will be sooner than you think possible. You'll be amazed at what you're going to find out about yourself. And it will be good. Honestly. ~ karen!
Susie Heller
Thank you. I am looking forward to this change, even though it is hard and not understood by those around us. We each deserve to be loved for who and what we are. Not by some other standards. Love is unconditional and without qualifiers. I hope that IF IF iF I ever marry again, I will find a man who love me just as I am! You will find your perfect man too. You have too much to offer and are great looking besides. Best to each of us in our travel through life's journey.
Rondina Muncy
Forty-three years has got to be a record. Mine was at 17 years. What went through my mind is that you may not get to the point where you can say, "I've been divorced way longer than I was married."
Thing that drives me crazy about divorce: doctor's questionnaires that say, "single, married, divorced." Why is divorced in there? If you are divorced---you are single. I'm in there with back pain or a kidney stone. How does this play into the big picture? After all these years, that is still what ticks me off. Very odd.
Karen, congrats on the one year of survival. When the time is right, someone like the fella's dad will walk into your life. He seems to have been a better version of his son judging from everything you ever wrote about him.
Carolyn
Rondina - I am in total agreement with you! I refuse to see "divorced" as a state of being. You are either single or married, that's it. In some ways the word "divorced" indicates some kind of relationship or non-relationship with the former spouse. Forget that! I'm single.
And Good For You Karen! I've only followed your blog for about a year so, I've only "known" you in your year of survival and I've really enjoyed your blog.
Tanya
Just had the same dubious first anniversary celebration earlier this year, tossing in cancer, a newborn, and a mistress to the mix. Glad you didn't let your fella's nonsense stop you from being awesome!
Karen
Well Tanya, the newborn makes up for it all. I'm considering getting another chicken which is almost exactly the same. ~ karen!
Stephanie
Well done, Karen, for making it through this year, and making it seem to us, your loyal readers, like more fun than it really was. So long as your sense of humor is intact, you've triumphed. And if you make it through 'til Sunday, May 18, that will be one delicious dinner to enjoy. (All week looks yummy, but "bison burger with grilled sweet potatoes" has me revising my grocery list).
victoria
GOOD FOR YOU! ! new year starting in May- it's perfect. Thank you for inspiring all of us. When you're ready for your next romantic adventure there will be hot men all over you, you'll see!!!
Karen
LOL! Hah. Yeah. No, I'm done. And that's fine. The fella was it for me. I loved living alone prior to him and, I actually love it now. So I'm good. :) ~ karen
Sally
What about Idris Elba? You can't throw over Idris - he'd be devastated! Just don't let him move in with you.
danni
This hurt my heart. We all know and love you and want to be your friend to cry with. We all feel like we know you, but you don't know us at all, which is pretty weird. Can you feel us loving on you? You make us happy. Wish there was a way for us to reach out and make you feel happy too. Sending love and happiness from Portland, Oregon.
Tigersmom
Thank you, danni, for putting my feelings into words.
Arianne
Ah Danni you took the words right out of my mouth!
Ev Wilcox
You have written what I feel to a tee!
Karen
Hi Danni. Thanks so much. And yes. I can feel the love so to speak, lol. In fact, this website and it's readers are a huge part of what helped me get through my year from hell. I appreciate you reading my site and I appreciate you being there for me. Honestly. ~ karen!
sue m
I ditto what Danni said!
TC
I wondered about the weekly menus. Good for you! *clinking champagne flutes with you* "to the new year!"
AnnW in the US
Brava to you, Karen for surviving the past year with dignity and grace. We all support you in your varied ventures. Can't wait until we can view your kitchen. What's next? Dressmaking? Car repair? Waiting with bated breath. Ann
SusanR
I'm so sorry, Karen. I hate those "In life you never know what will happen in 5 minutes" events. They are rarely good.
shuckclod
Glad your getting your grove back. Plus you have to make sure you eat pretty stuff to show off in the fridge. I still think he is fertilizer :)
Jenna
Hi Karen! Been following you for awhile and I remember when you originally shared about the fella. I hope the coming year treats you much better. Also wanted to say the weekly meal plan struck a chord with me. I found out on Christmas Eve that I lost a pregnancy at nearly 14 weeks. I totally lost my cooking mojo. Now I'm getting back on track (helps I'm 17 weeks pregnant again and all is going well) and started cooking and baking again this week and boy does it feel good! Hats off to you for keeping your blog so enjoyable during your crisis. I let mine go and I'm looking forward to relaunching soon. Thanks for all your wit and humor despite your craptacular year!! Cheers to you!
caryl
Been knocked off my rocker over and over and over and still..thanks for inspiring me on pretty much a daily basis! More might hit the fan but you.ve shown yourself to be the cool breeze wafting at me on a hot day. Thanks so much. XOXO
Molly
Wow. I had no idea. You inspire me, make me laugh, and make me think I could actually do some of the things you do. I love your site, and I wish you the best year yet.
Chavella
Good for you. Welcome back, I look forward to the menus. I was really sorry to hear of the fellas dads death. When I feel down, you always make me laugh. Thanks Bunches, Smiling in Atlanta Ga.
Karen
Thank you Chavella. And that's my goal! :) Make em learn and make em laugh. ~ karen!
CBuffy
One of my mentors said "If they're laughin' they're learnin'"... Words to live (and laugh) by.
Bobbi
Bon appetit !
Ms Mathieu
I love Saturday's choice ! add a glass of wine and enjoy !