Are you loaded up with fresh tomatoes and basil? An oven toasted baguette, glistening with salt & olive oil is the perfect mode of transportation to get these things directly into your mouth.
I buy hummus. That's right. I said it. I buy it. I don't make it. I go to the store with a fist full of quarters, throw them at whoever is standing near the hummus, grab it and run away.
My name's Karen, I'm an avid D.I.Y.er and I buy hummus.
I buy other things too. I buy milk. I buy door mats, pillows, cutlery, clothing and crackers. In fact, I even bought my car.
Because DIYing is pretty much my thing, people always get squinchy faced when I tell them I bought something.
Stranger: You buy gum? Really? But it's so easy to make. I thought you did everything yourself. I'm kind of disillusioned. I always make my own gum.
Me: Yeah. I just buy my gum premade.
Stranger: But it's so easy to make. It doesn't take any time and it's so much better than store bought.
Me: Yeah. I just buy my gum.
Stranger: Why not try making some gum right now?
Me: Because right now I'm going to poke your eyes out with this wooden spoon, which I also didn't make.
Stranger: If you made your own gum you could add all natural sedatives to it. You know. On account of your anger issues.
And so on.
I do some things myself, other things I buy and other things I hire people for. And there's absolutely no logical explanation for why I do some things myself and why I don't.
Hummus? I'll buy it. Soup? I make it. I'll spend time building a pizza oven but there's no way I'm going to make my own pizza. I just buy a frozen one and cook it in my outdoor pizza oven. A girl's gotta save time somewhere.
Just kidding. I make my own pizza. Dough and sauce. You don't? But it's so easy to make. It takes no time at all. I'm really surprised at you. I thought you did everything yourself. Can I offer you a wooden spoon?
I don't understand the reasoning behind why I do some things myself and am happy to pay for other things. Part of it is convenience, part of it is what I actually like to do, part of it is cost and the other part is based completely on random brain activity that even Sheldon Cooper's girlfriend, Amy Farrah Fowler, TV's beloved Blossom, couldn't explain.
Having said that, I make my own baguette crisps. They're $5.99 for a 180 gram box to buy. $3.99 if you buy the store made brand with no salt or olive oil or flavour or satisfaction.
Here's how you do it.
Scroll below for more in depth information. And hilarity.
JUST THE FACTS
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Toasted Baguette Crisps
Baguette Crisps
Ingredients
- 1 baguette try flavored baguettes like onion or garlic.
- ¼ cup olive oil good quality
- sea salt flaked if possible
- 4 sprigs rosemary optional
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 375 f. Slice the baguette into ¼ inch pieces.Brush both sides with olive oil.Sprinkle each slice with flaked sea salt.Sprinkle with chopped rosemary if desired.Bake at 375 for 15 minutes.
Nutrition
Buy the cheapest baguette you can find. Whichever one is the cheapest, buy it. Try the day old rack.
It'll cost you between $1 - $1.99. (and will result in the same amount of crisps as a bag/box for $5.99)
Slice it into ¼" slices and brush them with extra virgin olive oil.
I'll give you $700 if you can find anything other than extra virgin olive oil in the grocery store.
Why do recipes state "extra virgin" olive oil like it's some special thing? It's not. You can get a huge crappy bottle of extra virgin olive oil for like $6.
Having said that, the better the olive oil the stronger and better the flavour.
If you want to waste it on your baguette crisps that is entirely up to you. I certainly did.
Sprinkle with chunky sea salt. I use Maldon.
Give 'er a grind of pepper.
That's right. Giver.
Gently pull a sprig or two off of your artfully placed pot of rosemary.
Chop 'er up.
Sprinkle a little rosemary over all the baguette pieces.
More if you like rosemary, less if you just want a hint of it.
I can't believe I have to explain this to you.
Bake in a preheated 375 degree oven for 15 minutes.
Then bake them an hour and a half more.
Swear, laugh, roll your eyes and start again.
After 15 minutes at 375 they should be dried out and lightly browned but all ovens, baking sheets and baguettes aren't created equal so keep an eye on them. Also don't start watching House of Cards.
I flip mine halfway through the baking process so you should do that too if you can be bothered. If not, the world will not end. Not because of your baguette crisps anyway.
Serve them with ... store bought hummus. Double gasp.
Or, top them with tomatoes and basil and salt marinated in ... extra virgin olive oil.
Since the crisps are so crispy let them sit with the tomatoes on them for a few minutes to help soften the crispy crunch of them a tiny bit.
You can also buy flavoured baguettes. The ones I burned until they were soot, were actually from an onion baguette.
Go ahead. Give it a shot. They're so easy to make. And take no time at all.
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Mary W
I buy flavored baguette chips and they taste ok, are not fried, and work well scooping up whatever dip is on hand. BUT they can take a tooth out they are so hard. I love making my own but after one time - they tasted so wonderful, I had to quit. I ate the whole batch and I'm diabetic. Big mistake. So I buy the rock hard ones just so I don't eat the whole bag at one time. When the doctor tells you - you are borderline diabetic - DO SOMETHING about it BEFORE you have to give up homemade baguette chips! I don't think I would even listen to myself, if it were possible to go back in time and tell myself!
Emily Carver
QUOTE: "Go ahead. Give it a shot. They’re so easy to make. And take no time at all."
UNLESS you are watching House of Cards... just saying :-)
Ruth
Our grocery stores only sell vegetable oil and coconut oil, so there... $700 please. :D (you might want to add some sort of caveat to that offer to filter out folk from tiny islands. LOL)
On account of EVOO being a scarce commodity only found at health food stores, islanders can be forgiven for thinking it's something special. At almost US$30 per litre... these crisps had better be special. ;-)
Ruth
Side note: Our grocery stores also don't sell baguettes, but that's okay because I make my own bread anyway. Theirs has a 'chemical-ish' flavour and a pasty mouth-feel.
Ruth
Should that be has? Or have? I'm confused... going back to bed.
Karen
You're kidding! I had no idea that you couldn't get olive oil in Jamaica. Well, technically you can get it but ... yikes. ~ karen!
IRS
Yeah, but Ruth lives in Jamaica. Jamaica! Whereas I live on frozen tundra masquerading as a big city. Who cares about olive oil when she can lie on a gorgeous sandy beach in January, and get coconut oil smeared on her tanned body by a bronzed God island man-boy, while I sit shivering in the winter gloom, smearing my readily available olive oil on the winter cracked, dried out husks of my heels?
Beckie
Were you in my kitchen last night? I have a leftover baguette (from a 2-pack) and this morning I was wondering what to do with it. I am making garden veg soup today. This is what some might called kismet. Thanks!
Beckie
I made them. As the pan sat on the counter, cooling, and getting scoffed up by my family I said, "I thought they'd be great with the soup tonight." to which I was told, "Yeah, if they make it until the soup!"
Thanks Karen!!
PS: there are still a few left for the soup!
IRS
I buy things not to save money (well, sometimes) but to get what I want, when the store bought is not to my liking. Which reminds me, where the hell is the garlic in your recipe? You and I are in complete agreement that those who do not drink coffee should not only not be trusted, but must be pitched head first into an erupting volcano. They must be immediately followed by those who do not like garlic. Or those who use garlic powder. *shudders* Garlic is one of the 4 major food groups (along with alcohol, fat and chocolate), and that is why I make crisps. The store bought ones that proudly proclaim themselves to be "garlic flavored" were in fact merely baked in a factory with an employee who had eaten garlic in the past day, and forgot to wash his hands. Not my idea of a food containing garlic. If my post-dinner breath does not offend folks in the next county, then there wasn't enough garlic in it. Your recipe doesn't look bad, but it needs a lot more rosemary, and garlic, dammit! But at least there were no dead flies on it.
Su
never made hummus - no desire to... have made baguettes but only when snow bound and wanting some bread to bake..... @$1.99 or less I'll buy it for the crisps.....
somewhere like Karen said you need to draw the line.....
I do grow my own tomatoes and flowers so I'm thinking that counts for something....
In the states it seems there are many kinds of olive oil..... the light stuff is not less calories but mixed with other oils I've read (thanks for educating me Ms. Martha Stewart).... lite meaning light in the olive oil amount...
natural menstrual sponges? hmmm no but to each his own.....
Kim
Karen,
You buy baguettes? I make my own.....well my bread machine makes it and I shape it and bake it....(ducking the wooden spoon)
Great post and I love those crisps and have never made them and I am too cheap to buy them. You have just given me reason to start the bread maker.
You made my day!
Ann
I make a lot of things. My own wine. My own yogurt. Natural soda pop, bread, pizza, ketchup, mayo...all home made. But hummus is always store bought. I have a brand I adore and there is no use even trying to come up with a better home made recipe.
You are right. It is impossible to figure out what motivates us to make certain things and not others. I like to think I am spurred on by kitchen chemistry. Hence all the things that require a bit of science, like bread, the natural soda(really water kefir), yogurt and wine. I like that I understand what is happening during the production process. Fermentation, emulsification, and any other process that might be happening as I make my food.
But it sounds like some of you could stand to read up on olive oil. You must educate yourself or you will end up buying doctored up corn oil which is so bad for you. In the US of A, just because it says it is olive oil does not mean it is a good product. Paying more is not just going to give you better flavor but will hopefully give you real olive oil that has not been treated with obnoxious chemicals.
That said, I need to get into the kitchen. My husband is coming home from his radiation therapy vacation and I am making home made spaghetti sauce with every single thing having been grown on this property. Except the olive oil. And the pasta itself. I think that is the perfect welcome home dinner.
Karen
It is! I'd love that as a welcome home dinner. Everybody loves spaghetti and meatballs! Did you way meatballs or did I just throw that in? I might have. But you don't make your own pasta? But it's so easy. ;) ~ karen!
Cynthia Jones
Hummus on pizza is yummy too Karen. Same flavouring as your yummy recipe I guess.
But more handy for raising to your mouth without looking, as your eyes are glued to the screen doing a HBO marathon.
brenda
yes and don't try it with the loofas just because you've already grown some and have them handy - am I ever glad I'm a menopausal mermaid … who doesn't make her own hummus
nancy
@ Cynthia Jones no. I tried those menstrual cups before and that's unpleasant. This sponge idea is worse. (and is one at a time enough??) I have been a nurse for 39 years and have ordered pizza and chinese during a gangrenous bowel operation at 2am. And that's not all. So I know I was never too delicate for it. But thanks for sharing because I am sure there are others who will be very happy to hear of this.
About olive oil, I found just plain olive oil at QFC. For making my own mayonnaise. Because it's very easy.
Cynthia Jones
Nancy. No, nothing like menstrual cups. Not unpleasant at all and far less risk of thrush and toxic shock.
Also, make you able to swim in the ocean and rise horses on the beach in slow motion. :)
Cynthia Jones
You buy tampons?
I don't think I have told you about this "Old Hooker's Trick". No, I am not an old hooker.
Buy three natural sea sponges in the small size, sold at the makeup section of pharmacies. Wet them to soften with water and whack them in the microwave for a minute to kills any seaborne greeblies.
When that time comes, moisten one and squeeze out all excess moisture and insert. Once in place they do not move and are undetectable. Hence the Old Hooker's use of them during their cycle they could still continue on with their profession with no evidence of their menstrual cycle and no detection by the client.
This is just side information, I am not encouraging Hookering I am trying to save you money and trying to stop you from using something that is full of bleach right next to the most absorbent tissues in your body.
It is easy to retrieve and rinse with clean water, and dry out in the sun. So, you can have one being used, one ready to go and one drying in the sun or soaking in some water with a bit of vinegar if you want to get all pendantic.
Saves so much money, is not yukky at all and kinda nice to know you are a secret little mermaid underneath it all and nobody knows.
I did this for years and I encourage all others to try it when appropriate. Like the girls who serve me at my local cafe'.
Robert
That's certainly an interesting tip, Karen maybe you could figure out how to grow sea sponges since you already tried with the loofas
Kim
I can see Karen with a garden full of tampons LMAO!
IRS
Well I was just about to chop up some nice, red tomatoes, but after that imagery, I think I'll do that another time. Maybe I'll have a drink, a nice Bloody Mary........ Nope. Won't be doing that now either. Guess the only thing to do now after reading that comment, is to go over to my neighbor's Facebook page, and check out the latest photos of her sister. Who dresses like a hooker.
holly
lol. gasp for air. lol!
Kim from Milwaukee
Easy to retrieve??? Even after 'hookering'? Doesn't it get shoved way up into the nether regions? How does one....oh nevermind. I don't need them anymore anyway.
Diva cup worked for me...now it's an eyewash cup.
Cred
Ohmygawd, Kim
I almost chocked when I read "...now it's an eyewash cup"
Hilarious!
Cred
Crap!
*choked
Peg
Just finished making my own hummus for the first time. But think I'll do the crisp. Just picked up day old pre-sliced baguette, lucky me.Just sent away for a yogurt maker. Used to make my own over 35 years ago. So goofy what we choose to diy or buy. Enjoyed pics of your great garden.
Grammy
I made hummus once. It was good, but no better than the one made by my local grocer, and clearly inferior to that made by a local middle-eastern restaurant, available for take-out. Factor in cleaning up the mess, carry the three, and I buy hummus.
Your conversation with a stranger about DIY gum is among your best. Thanks for that. I'm going to read it again because it's just that good.
Haydée
Giver,eh?
Chris
Was there wine involved perchance? If not, and your brain works like that without it, you should bottle that up. D.I.Y. hilarity.
Wendy
I guess they call it "extra virgin" because it's unsullied. Like the army on "Game of Thrones." Not to be confused with the less virginal olive oil (I guess one might call that "lube" . . . I don't know . . . I'm riffing while I can't sleep.) Not even sure where you'd find that. Hah! I mean, what does one do with sullied olive oil? Does it exist? Is it murky and dirty and good for nothing? Like half the characters on "Game of Thrones"?
Milton
Thanks so much for the great post. I don't like hummus but I love fresh tomatoes with basil, olive oil and the crisps from day-old (or actually expiring that day at Wal-Mart rack) is a wonderful idea. SAM's in the US usually stocks light olive oil which I'll be happy to ship you a gallon for $700. We've used it for years and prefer it over the EVO for everyday cooking. Keep up the great blog entries, your email is my favorite of the day!
Karen
Thanks Milton! :) I don't plan on quitting any time soon. Not until my mortgage is paid off anyway. ~ karen!
Hilda Munk
Here!Here! I can't wait to read your post. I so love your creativness in so many areas. But, mostly I love to laugh. ThankYOU!!
Ishrath
where is the wooden spoon? i never saw the wooden spoon!
Leslie Best
Bahahahahaha!!! I have this conversation all the time!
Girl at the farmers market - "Oh but it's so easy to make your own almond milk.."
Me - "Screw you sister, I have a 3 kids and a husband with two careers"
Having said that, I make my own hummus. And Jay loves it.
ellenk
Too much. My sisters came to visit a few weeks ago and one of them (named Karen) had made her own hummus, was soo proud of it until I pointed out that hers was made with canned chickpeas while MINE was made from those that I cooked from scratch. It was so easy, you know. Sisters, hey? Not quite sure whose tasted better but the stuff from the store is good too. Roasted red pepper hummus, mmmmmm.