I'm almost finished cleaning up the mess of my brain that's been splattered around my kitchen after the almost 4 hour ordeal of getting a few groceries. Just let me freshen up a bit and I'll meet you on the other side of the first photo to tell you the story.
Getting groceries
You know what? I've lied. I'm not going to tell you my whole grocery getting story because I assume you have the exact same story. Maybe I'll just hit you with the condensed version of what getting groceries is like at the moment and you can let me know if your experience has been the same.
I'll just be cuddled up in the corner with my blood pressure monitor while you read on.
Some time in late March: Order groceries online to be picked up at grocery store. Click, click, click. Done. I love this.
Next day: Realize I hadn't added my credit card to the grocery site so entire order has disappeared including my time slot for pickup. Re-choose a pickup date (soonest one is over 2 weeks away), add credit card, re-select groceries basing my choices on what I need immediately and what I suspect I'll need in 2 weeks. Shocked to discover my grocery store doesn't sell toilet paper, hugs or tranquilizer darts online.
2 week waiting period: Train my brain to accept carrot sticks and sliced apples with peanut butter as acceptable snack items. Which they are not.
Mid April: Grocery pickup day. Feeling like it's the last day of school, the first day of school, Christmas morning, and the day I talked myself out of an illegal left turn ticket all in one. Put on jeans in anticipation of my big day out, go pee, notice the seams of my jeans are leaving ¼" deep indentations on my legs and change back into sweat pants.
Leave for 6 p.m. scheduled pickup at grocery: Gather all the normal gear I need to leave my house: car keys, bank card, latex gloves, face mask, coronahair hat, spray bottle of water with bleach, paper towels, mini hand sanitizer, and cough drops on account of my newfound greatest fear: coughing in public.
Arrive at grocery store parking lot and park in one of the spots allotted for those of us smart enough to order our groceries in advance. Call the phone number to say I'd arrived and tell them which parking spot I'm in. Am given apologies that there will be a 15 minute wait.
No problem. I can go for a walk. No I can't. I might miss them come round with my potato chips. I'll just wait here for 15 minutes (4 times in a row).
7:00 p.m.: A cart of groceries finally arrive for me an hour after my scheduled time slot. I spent the time wisely, taking selfies that were all deemed too hideous to post anywhere, talked to my mother on the phone, texted friends and silently judged people I thought weren't wearing their masks as directed by television heartthrob Dr. Anthony Fauci.
7:03 p.m.: Groceries finally arrive with a 6 foot apart apology that they didn't have everything I needed in stock. I figured this might happen what with this being the Eastern Bloc in 1982. But CHIPS? The entire store had no chips?? Or cat food???
7:05 p.m.: Decide I just don't believe a store the size of Liechtenstein doesn't have any Ruffles potato chips or cat food. Am forced to sacrifice a disposable N95 face mask to go into the store after spending 2 weeks avoiding the grocery store, the people in it and their bodily orifices that spew germs for what I've recently learned is an alarming distance.
7:06 p.m.: Find both potato chips and cat food. Take first breath while being in store and get lightheaded. In a good way. Pick up wine for Betty and a few other things while avoiding one particular man who finds his face mask restrictive and is therefore wearing it on the more comfortable spot of his chin. Head to the checkout line and stand respectfully on my designated piece of tape on the floor.
7:08 p.m.: Under his Eye.
7:15 - 8 p.m.: Drop off groceries I had picked up for relatives and neighbours then return home giddy to see if this trip would help me achieve an all time high score on my blood pressure monitor.
8:00 - 9 p.m.: Hand wash all of my groceries with a spray bottle of bleach and water while memorizing the periodic table, which I didn't think I'd ever need to know, but didn't think I'd ever need to know how far saliva will project vertically before dropping horizontally either.
9:01 p.m.: Decide the whole fiasco was pointless since I've decided I'm never going to eat again.
So. You? Same?
I have been able to find solace in rhubarb.
My yard has a little microclimate area where my rhubarb grows. Between the fence around my yard, the heat from the brick wall of my house, the raised bed and the south facing location, my rhubarb patch is always a month ahead of anyone else's in this area.
This means by the time most people are just starting to get a harvest I'm already oozing rhubarb out of my pores. I stop eating rhubarb when looking at it triggers my gag reflex. But until then? I'm rhubarb crisping.
Unfortunately, due to the current condition of my brain, I burned my first batch this year which sent me into a deep depression because of the fact that THIS is no time to be ruining snacks. (see former story about how getting groceries nowadays sounds like a crossover episode of Game of Thrones and The Handmaid's Tale.)
The rhubarb crisp recipe. And don't forget with my recipes, you can slide the "servings" bar around so the recipe automatically calculates the measurements for however many servings you want. I usually just make servings of 2 for this. You can Give the Gift of Rhubarb crisp by putting all the ingredients for the topping in one mason jar and all the ingredients for the filling in another. Then leave it on someone's porch along with a bundle of rhubarb. I'm still taking my CBD oil daily. At first I thought it was working. Then I didn't think it was doing anything so I stopped. Then I realized my anxiety levels were increasing and I started taking it again regularly (3 small doses a day) and everything is under control again. Well, I mean as under control as anyone can expect it to be during a social, physical and emotional crisis. I added some length to my outdoor faucet last year because it was in a reallllyyy inconvenient place but I didn't drain it properly last fall and the pipe burst. Midway through fixing it I realized I was missing a crucial part and Instagrammed about it. A local friend saw and offered to have her son pick up my part from their hardware store run the next day. All hail those helping others. Thanks Noelle (owner of local shop, Ellenoire! ) It is STILL easily cold enough to warrant big bowls of spaghetti and meatballs around here. I wish that wasn't the case, but it is. In fact as I stare out the window while I write this there are flurries flurrying. It's absurd. I'm getting a lot of reaction from this little saviour I posted last week, the cake in a cup. In case you missed it, it is a cake. And it is in a cup. That's about it. It's just a slightly elevated version than the original with raspberries, powdered sugar and anything else you can think of throwing on top of it to help get you through a snack attack.What I've Been Doing This Week.
Rhubarb Crisp. A Sweet / Tart Delight.
I Took CBD Oil for 2 Weeks. Here's How it Went.
How to Replace (or Move) Your Leaky Outdoor Faucet.
Mmmmm .... Spaghetti & Meatballs
Two Minute Chocolate Mug Cake. A Fancy Cake in a Cup.
→Follow me on Instagram where I often make a fool of myself←
Bonnie Jane Harris
The rest of the world probably knows about our town of Bobcaygeon, with our distressing 29 deaths at one of our nursing homes. It's been a sad small town of just over 3,500 people, that's for sure. As far as groceries, though, it didn't take long for our two stores to get it together. I've walked through both during senior hours, found pretty much all the essentials, and no crowds at all. No waiting outside in lines, most people wearing masks and gloves, a lot of respect for the 6' space. Meanwhile, volunteers are stepping up doing everything from deliveries of food and meds, sourcing medical supplies, fund raising for a special local Relief Fund , and more. We say "Three little islands, One big heart" here, and I know it's true.
Lori Shaw
Hi Bonnie,
I love Bobcaygeon. I'm not from there but have been there often since I was a child.
I ordered some Bobcaygeon Strong t-shirts for my family from Bigley's as a little bit of support - hopefully both financial and psychological.
Lots to love from one Ontarian to another. Your little town and its people have got a lot of beauty and grace - I hope for peace and healing to everyone there.
Lori
Gail
The durn virus has shrunk my jeans too. I’ve texted sexy Dr Fauci asking him to make a housecall to check this out.
I laughed so hard at the way you frame the daily aggravations we’re all going through. Thanks for lightening my mood
Karen
You're welcome Gail. We are all living the same life. Other than front line workers, who are living the same life as us, plus another completely terrifying life as well. ~ karen!
Jenny W
I had been keeping track of this virus since it began in January, and by mid February I decided to go into Prepper Mode Lite, because I had a feeling it was going to get bad. Not hoarding anything, just buying extra canned goods, baking supplies, frozen veggies, noodles, rice, bleach, cat food litter, and over the counter flu medications. Oh, and chocolate bars, chips and coffee, because come on, they are sanity savers!
My husband thought I was being overly cautious when I sent him to Costco an hour away to buy bulk TP & Laundry Supplies February before things got crazy here. I meal prepped, made soups stews and chillies and sauces to freeze.
Now I brave the grocery stores for dairy products and little else, and my husband thinks I'm a superhero with psychic ability lol!. I have to say I am so happy I know how to cook and bake during these stressful times. Staying Home/Flatten the Curve
M
In March when it started to get bad we had to go to 9 stores to find toilet paper.
We were able to book an online delivery slot for 3 weeks later but the ground coffee bag was torn open in transit: the coffee which is no longer available anywhere, online or in person.
Our coffee supply is running low.
It could get ugly.
Dee
"The Eastern Bloc in 1982' Ha...so true. That's exactly what I told hubs all of this reminded me of. At least we don't have to go to one store for bread and another one for coffee, etc. And wait in a long line at each. Only to be told they were out. I was shocked when I went into Walmart and there was nothing there. Try going to the doctor's office. I had several "phone" appointments. How do you have a "phone" appointment with your OB-GYN? Then I had to go in for a blood test and a sonogram. There was a team outside the door to the building. I was handed a mask, my temp was taken and I had to disinfect my hands. The hubs had to stay outside. He was not allowed in. Mind blowing!
Jen Kurten
Wine ? We have been in hardcore lockdown for 4 weeks now in South Africa - no alcohol, no cigarettes, In fact nothing at all except essential food and basic groceries. Have perfected the making of kefir sourdough!! All DIY projects are on hold because all of those supplies are deemed non- essential. I’m coordinating 60 women in our area who have started making cloth reusable masks out of sheets and tablecloths for the poor. It’s amazing what can be done with a bit of ingenuity - we have made 2500 masks so far. Our country’s death toll is 50 - wear your masks people !!!
brenda
wow good going with just 50 ... how awful to realize that's a low number - isn't it. Each of those 50 people lost their lives to this. It's so horrific. I can't imagine how some are managing without cigarettes and/or alcohol if they are heavy smokers and/or drinkers -- WOW. Good going making all those masks!
my grocery shopping was so stressful and so this post really resonates with me. I went to 2 stores and had the 1st cashier cough then hand me my groceries and the 2nd cashier turned and sneezed on the customer in the next aisle (without doing it in their elbow all the droplets flew through the air with the greatest of ease. I had that barrier between us ... and then I gathered my bags and had to walk through the area of sneeze droplets ... thankfully I was wearing two masks and glasses (very foggy glasses) and a hood ... when I got home I left my groceries in the garage ... I just couldn't deal with them before stripping down and having a bath. AND I FORGOT TO LOOK FOR POTATOES!
Oh - I almost forgot the good part. Last night I got an e-mail from Loblaws letting me know one of their 'workers' tested positive and they were shutting the store to disinfect it and wanted to let customers that were in the store while their 'worker' was working so we could call them with any questions we might have. It took me 3 days to get out of bed after my shopping trip and washing everything and so I'm glad they waited that extra week after their 'worker' left the building before telling us because I would have probably just gone back to bed and stayed there forever if they'd told me right away. At least I know I feel ok-ish a week later - finally.
WOW - you get to eat your rhubarb. The allotments in Toronto have been closed (I'm now eyeing a very tiny 4x6' greenhouse for my roof deck - insert fiendish smirkysmile).
Karen
All community gardens across the province are closed. I am currently doing what I can to get them deemed essential. :) ~ karen!
Brenda
Karen OMG your magic worked. I just got an e-mail saying we can go into the High Park Allotment Gardens on 29 June (just in time to pick the scapes so the garlic can bust-a-bulb). The stinging nettle, mint and creeping charlie will be so pissed off! And it will be snake season! On my first year there I saw my first snake and didn't go back for a month and when I did I realized it was my hose. It was so big and long ... I flew out of there screaming and told everyone I saw.
Karen
June 29th?? That, I mean, that's good, but I'm hoping there will be a better resolution in the near future. :) ~ karen!
Brenda
Thanks for championing this. I signed a petition or two. If it were earlier, that would be so amazing. I've got seedlings growing (and I bought felt pots to put them in on my roof deck) but it would be so nice to get them in the ground.
AND I could use those pretty lime green felt pots for all the gloves and masks and wipes and toilet paper storage (if I can get some).
brenda
AAAHAHHHHAHAHAHAH ... I couldn't rreply soOOOooner ... I had to plant more INDETERMINATE TOMATOES BECAUSE .......................................YOUuuuuuu
WERE RIGHT about the allotment announcements happening ... WE Can GO in on 6 MAY now. That's 2 months sooner ... I am runninng aound reading seed packages THANNK YOUUUUUUuuUUUu
Karen
Lol, I didn't do much, a LOT of people were involved with getting community gardens back. Thousands! I'm happy you've got a date already! Good for you. Enjoy! ~ karen
Gretchen Jones
I ordered TP from Amazon. It came 2 mts. later. The rolls were individual use size. Really not even enough for a one time use. I ordered a case for Dad too! Our $42.00 laugh! No flour,sugar,baking goods ,tp, yada,yada at grocery store. But then I live in the last town in No.California that never has all that I need when I go to town anyways! Lol be safe girl!
TucsonPatty
I used online Safeway delivery - 1 1/2 week out delivery date. I got everything except cinnamon and mustard. (who knew!?) I don’t ever want to do ghat shit ever again, ever. I’m going to live off my fat and out of the freezer - even if it is old old old! The trick of bringing perishables in and leaving all else out for 24 hours would have worked, but the first available delivery time was so far out that I forgot it was also the morning the landscapers come and blow dust everywhere, and I was in a panic to get the food in off the front step. I’ll figure that out better, if I ever have the guts to do it again!! Snacks are hard! Low carb right now is hard! (Drs orders.) we will get through this! I have family that think it is a hoax, and I am speechless.
Karen
Sorry to hear some people in your family have been encouraged to think this is a hoax, that must be frustrating. We're not completely immune to that kind of thinking in Canada but we have very little of it, thanks to the general absence of Fox news or similar. ~ karen!
Sue
My experience with the shopper service was much like yours. Not impressed. A good 1/3 of my order was not filled but when I went into the store, I found several of the items in stock. Granted my timing was not the best; I tried it for the first time about a month ago just as all hell was breaking loose.
Marie Braun
I wanted to bake a cake to cheer up my daughter. The recipe called for cornstarch, which I didn't have in my pantry. I couldn't find it in-stock anywhere. Then lo and behold, several weeks later, it appeared online and I quickly added it to my cart and sent my husband off to pick up our order. When he returned home and I began the arduous task of disinfecting every single item, I found out that my cornstarch was listed as "Not Available", and they had substituted it with FRENCH'S YELLOW SQUEEZE MUSTARD!
Karen
!!! LOLOL!!! That is maybe the most ridiculous substitution I've heard of. ~ karen!
Patti
My sister-in-law had her turkey lunch meat substituted with turkey necks!
Freja
I live near you (westdale) and before actually reading this post was thinking "thats what happens when you're not slumming it in the actual stores, waiting behind tape" until I read under his eye and spit out my skip the dishes delivered subway wrap. You're fantastic, thank you.
Nicole
There were people NOT WEARING face masks at my store (also out of TP, paper towel, kleenex, flour of any variety, yeast, and last time the pasta aisle was almost empty). What the actual h.e. double hockey sticks... I don't know, I really don't.
My best shopping trips have been to the lovely farm stand near me which isn't technically open, but regular customers can place and pay for orders online and then pick them up, on covered shelves outside, with no one else around (except the occasional farm worker in the distance). I didn't bother with a mask because it was raining, and the veggies were so fresh they still had dirt! They also sell seedlings, so I got some pea plants (which I just typoed as "pee," yuck) and some parsley, both of which were probably killed off by the snow (!!!) that came this morning. If they carried diet coke, flour, meat and paper products, I would never return to the grocery store again.
I cobbled together a recipe where you use stale leftover bread (rehydrated) to replace some of the water and flour in a new loaf of bread. The result actually seems edible, although the crumb is a little odd.
Letty Regan
California, Costco, major saga. Senior shopping time is 8-9 am. I arrive at 8:15 and am confused as there are two lines. The love on the left is for regular shoppers, queing up at 8:15 for a 10 am open time. My line on the right extremely all the way down the side of the building, across the parking lot, turns 90° and extends almost to the back fence (probably 400' in total). I wait, attempting to keep my 6' distance in my N95 mask and latex gloves and finally get in the store a little after 9 am. I do my shopping and discover that they are out of canned chicken (my dog's food). I ask the nice Costco attendant making sure everyone is staying 6' apart from each other in their mask and gloves if they have canned chicken "No, but other closer Costco has plenty." So it's after 10 at this point so i decide, since I really need this canned chicken, that I'll brave the general line at the other store. I get there, mask and glove up again after sterilizing myself and the car after the last trip, to see this line is like Disneyland. It begins on one side of the store, wraps around the other side of the store and then makes two laps back and forth just for good measure. I finally get in, get my usual case of canned chicken (6 cans per pack, 6 packs per case=36 cans, a little over a month's worth). I get to the register to be told that there is a limit of one pack per person. Now I have to repeat this nightmare WEEKLY so my dog can have his canned chicken. I'm insane. Its OK, I'll just bake cupcakes.
Mary
“Under his eye” made me laugh and snort. (And maybe slightly scared). I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling that. Thanks for the cake in a cup recipe. It is a family favorite now!
Karen
LOL, happy to help. On both counts. ~ karen!
Sarah Jackson
Tips for shopping which I have not told anyone else. 1. Do not forget to enter your credit card. I did the same thing you did. 2. Order stuff from Samsclub, Walmart, Target whoever will deliver. I live miles and miles from civilization. 3. Bring only perishables into the house to clean the germs off. The rest of the non perishable grocery items can set in my truck for 24 hours and the germs will be killed by the Florida sun. Oh. In January I purchased online $1200 worth of non perishable items. No, I did not hoard anything I shared with elderly neighbors. I am set except for Raisin Bran and chips. And I ordered some embroidery kits from Tanya Berlin from Canada because the US citizens do not do embroidery, just cross stitch and needlepoint. Be careful. You are the best.
Karen
Thanks for introducing me to her embroidery kits! ~ karen
Candy Donohue
My grocery shopping in a nutshell. How will I know what I need in two weeks at eleven p.m. for a snack?
Gone are the days of finding out you don't have enough sugar...oh, I will just run to the store!
Lord help you all, if I run out of coffee.
Laura-Lee
Or coffee filters, lol. 5 stores later. Took 3 weeks and of course you need a specific size. When can’t they make a reusable one for people that actually use a coffee pot and grind coffee beans. No problem buying coffee beans.
Maybe people decided to buy all the coffee filters when stores ran out of tp.
Finally a store manager found 1 box explaining they were very expensive and made from bamboo.
Sold!!!!
Jenny Amy
Icelanders have been using cotton muslin coffee filters for at least 100 years that I know of.
Robert
I have a question, I recently got my very first cast iron skillet, I know I should season it but this particular one is in the very impractical size of 4" diameter and 3/4 "deep (is the cutest thing and I couldn't resist) should I still season it if I'm rarely going to use it or do I just leave it as is?
Gretchen Jones
Season it for sure sweetie!
Karen
Hi Robert! Sometimes newer cast iron skillets are already preseasoned that let you get away with cooking in them without preseasoning. Things will still stick, but the more you use it the more naturally seasoned it will become. A pan that size is what I use to usually do things like toast small amounts of nuts or cook an egg. If you add a bit of butter to the pan before the egg it shouldn't stick and the nuts are never going to stick either. So, you can probably get away with not seasoning. ~ karen!
Stephanie
When I last went to the grocery store approx 5 weeks ago all there were was chips. They filled up the bulk bin area, the candy area, the flour and tp areas. Now I happen to live with someone who is a chip whore and whose idea of enough chips for quarantine was 50 some odd bags - the party size. Today I went out for the first time in five weeks and in the car I found an additional 10 bags of chips - in case of emergency I guess.
MichelleR
And yet they opened up a beach in Florida and people were actually TOUCHING each other!! Go figure.
Karen
I actually made myself sick on chips last night. S.I.C.K. Yep. ~ karen!
Christine Hilton
You can make the asshat Mindy cake!
Karen
True! I forgot about that cake! ~ karen
Kat
I have been to the grocery store twice in the last month and everything went perfect. Everyone was walking around like zombies avoiding everybody else, just like they should and I got everything I needed both times including toilet paper WooHoo!
brenda
swoon - so dreamy - that ... it totally relaxed me to read this
Sarah
I go out once a week, and everything goes smoothly too. People are respectful, and don’t linger. Yesterday, a Saturday at 10:30, Freshco was a ghost town! Walked right in, filled a cart and was in my car 20 minutes later.