Happy Halloween

I’m pretty busy today what with getting ready for Halloween.

 

studded-pumpkin

 

 

I have just finished 100 pushups and I’m looking at another 3 or 4 hours of situps, stretching and balance exercises.  By 6 o’clock tonight I’m going to be as ready as I’ll ever be for pushing down kids and stealing their candy.

Don’t get too worked up. I’m not a total monster, I’m specifically focusing on 4-5 year olds so they’ll never remember it in a few years anyway.  Besides.  Candy gives you energy.  What does a 4-5 year old need extra energy for?  Finger painting is so strenuous?

I have a house to clean, chickens to look after, traffic to fight.  Just last night my entire dining room table was covered with laundry that needed to be folded, lugged upstairs and put away.   A single hour of arguing with the fella requires at least 17 mini chocolate bars worth of energy.

When I was a kid I used to separate all my candy into piles. Chocolate, chips, random weird stuff like toffees that tasted like a cross between molasses and fart.  I’d then count everything in each pile.  Then, finally … I’d stick it all under my bed where it stayed until the bugs found it some time in February.

Why did I do this?

Because I didn’t need the energy.

Nowadays that same bag of candy would last about one week and get me through a near car accident scare, 2  dinners that were not exactly edible,  a fight with the weird neighbour and a SPECTACULAR fit over not having enough closet space.

So … the house is done up all nice and inviting in preparation for the night ahead.  I’ve been rereading Hansel & Gretel for research.  Good book.


A few more touches to the porch, a few more jumping jacks and I think I’ll be ready for the big night.

 


28 Comments

  1. Rhonda "SmartyPants" says:

    Ahhhh, she lives to see and thoroughly ravage her way through another Halloween — enjoy, m’lady, enjoy. Peace on earth and good treats to all! Happy Halloween and good nite!

  2. ” Toffees that tasted like a cross between molasses and fart” – you are obviously referring to my nemesis: treacle toffee! God how I loved that stuff, and I have the dental work to prove it.

    You are doing a public service, teaching little kids not to trust strangers with sweets, especially strangers with THEIR sweets. You give’em hell.

    I don’t get trick or treaters. My reputation is known.

  3. Spokangela says:

    Love the feather boa garland. A few years ago I bought some rather awful looking ‘ivy’ from the dollar store (our dollar stores mostly consist of horrid looking fake flora – not all the wonderful finds the Canadian ones have) spray painted it black and it has adorned my front porch every Halloween since. Looks pretty good with the whiteish/purpely spooky lights too…

    Happy Happy Halloween, be ye fat or be ye lean!

    Ok that was a lame Hansel & Gretel reference… sorry. I need to go to bed.

  4. Branwen says:

    Thanks for the inspiration. Here, The Netherlands, we don’t do the whole candy begging on Halloween but we do have something similar called Sint Maarten. Kids carry a self-made lantern and need to sing a song for candy (or fruit, I do fruit and they hate that) It’s on November the 11th so I still have some time to prepare and read that book you recommend.

  5. Heather says:

    It looks artistic and elegantly spooky!!! Love It! Congratulations on another successful holiday decor.
    Gosh. This means Christmas is right around the corner. Yikes!

  6. Laura Bee says:

    “a SPECTACULAR fit over not having enough closet space.” I just cry once in a while.

  7. marsha gaspari says:

    I make the little @$%#ers throw dice. If they roll an even number, they get a treat. If they roll an odd number, they get a trick. They can choose from a potato, brussel sprout, or a dog bone. It is trick OR treat. When I get bored with that, as they come up to say “Trick or Treat” I say “Trick.” and spray them with silly string. Great fun.

    • Karen says:

      LOL! Now I need to go get silly string! I happen to be out of it at the moment. ~ karen

    • Claire says:

      You are my new hero. I think I’ll give the ones who roll odds kale, though; I have a ton of it in the garden, and it’s less likely than a potato to do damage when they throw it at my windows.

    • Toronto Boy says:

      marsha gaspari, I`ve gotta be honest with ya … If I was a little kid again and you gave me a potato, brussel sprout, or a dog bone, you can bet your bottom dollar that I`d have a carton of eggs ready to paint your front door bright yellow! And yes I was a bad bad kid! =P

  8. Jodi T. says:

    Go get ’em TIGER!!! 🙂

    Happy Hallowe’en! 😉

  9. Lynn says:

    Karen only YOU can make my FAVORITE HOLIDAY even better! Started the day with The Pumpkin Song from Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas and I’ll incorporate some of Marsha’s FABULOUS trick or treating tips. “Roll the dice”… that’s fantastic. Tonight we howl!

  10. SuzyMcQ says:

    How about some blood spatter on the nice white porch posts? Or, as I think about it more, smeared bloody handprints! Yes, much, much better!

  11. Nancy Blue Moon says:

    Your porch looks gorgeous Karen but I would have to do it a little more scary looking cause I like scary..Where are those creepy pumpkins with skulls bursting out of them?? Have fun for me too..I really miss doing “Trick-or-Treat!!

  12. Paula says:

    I used to separate my candy into little piles when I was a kid, too! The chocolate always went first, and by Easter I finally threw away the green and yellow lollipops and orange hard candies. Gee, I feel so close to you now! I also used to separate my M&M’s by color, but that’s a whole other story…

  13. Marion says:

    Happy Halloween! Do you watch Modern Family? And if so did you see last week’s episode?! Because I am imagining your acting like Claire from last week’s Halloween episode. OMG YOU NEED TO WATCH IT!!!

  14. Barbie says:

    I wish I could come to your house to trick or treat!

    My favorite line is:
    “A single hour of arguing with the fella requires at least 17 mini chocolate bars worth of energy.”

    I totally GET that! lol

  15. qtpuh2tme says:

    Your wit is as sharp as Freddy Krueger’s nails.

    Have a blast! I’m a non-Hallow-Weener, myself.

    BWHAHA! I said, “Weener!” ~;P

  16. Lani says:

    I took my 4 yr old’s candy last night (and my older kid’s too) He doesn’t even remember how much he got anyway- you’re right- they’ll never miss it. Sooo funny- thank you.

  17. Very entertaining article. With the amount of candy my kids got there’s enough to last them for a year.

    I really like the pumpkin decor on the porch. Thanks for an entertaining read.

    • Karen says:

      Ever so welcome! ~ karen

      • Hi Karen
        Considering my job, I’m the Editor of Hometipster.com I read a lot but it’s not that often I’m amused. I love to read articles that put a smile on my face, so thank you for such an entertaining read.

        If you have the time we would love for you to do a guest post on http://hometipster.com. You can of course promote your blog with a link and I’m sure our readers will love what you write.

        Have a wonderful day Karen.

        Graham

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