This week I realized that sometimes I hate people, but I'm still a good person because I don't tell them I hate them, I just quietly seethe and wish awful things upon them. Like producing a dense loaf of bread.
There are so many factors going on right now that could very well lead to a complete meltdown of society. I'm sure you agree.
The most tragic of course being the fact that all the world's baking supplies have been kidnapped and held hostage by a disorganized conglomerate of people who don't bake.
I could deal these people who are hoarding the flour that they will never bake with but THE DAHLIAS. The dahlia tubers are also disappearing into the hands of people who don't garden.
Don't get me wrong, I don't blame these people for suddenly wanting to become bakers and gardeners, I mean that's what my entire site promotes; doing stuff. It's just that, at the moment, I hate those people.
If you read last week's post you learned about my obsession with Charlie McCormick and his dahlia border. I decided to apply it to my house, running the complete length of my picket fence. This week I organized an entire colour scheme for my dahlia border.
Table of Contents
Dahlia Colour Palette
The only problem is from the time I made my orders to the time they were received, tubers were already sold out. I'm now missing and on the hunt for two water lily dahlias to replace the Yvonne Pink and Pam Howden and something to step in for the salmony Parkland Tribute dahlia which was also unavailable.
In order to maintain my sanity I'm going to imagine they're safely tucked in someone's dirt right now, not the bottom of their shoe closet.
COOKIES
After being assaulted with all manner of cookies on Instagram last week I wiped my face of dahlia tears, took some flour out of the safe and got baking.
I made ginger snap cookies that were so ugly I didn't take a picture of them but were so delicious I had to tell you about them. Don't ask for the recipe though because I'm not allowed to share it. It was offered to me by someone I follow on Instagram with the condition I don't share it. So I won't.
The notion did make me smile a bit. That in this age of the Internet where recipes are shared faster than hand sanitizer at a hospital, people are still keeping recipes secret. There's something inherently old fashioned and charming about it that I love. Of course I can say that since the recipe was indeed shared with me.
If, on the other hand, he had said he had the world's best ginger snap recipe but he couldn't share it with me, I would have lumped him in with the baking thieves and dahlia hoarders.
HAIR
Yup. I curled my hair again. Actually, I only had to curl the sides side the back is now, inexplicably curly.
I don't hate it. I don't love it. I accept it. According to one Instagram reader I look ... and I quote ...
"... like a frugal billionaire that donates a lot to charity, does yoga and surfs every day right outside her house every day just to humble-brag."
I think I look like Moira Rose. So we're both right.
My friend hair and makeup artist Andrea told me to get this T3 curling iron so that's the one I got. I am incapable of good judgement on my own when it comes to hair products.
WALKIES
I am doing my best to force/cajole/trick Betty into walking.
It takes quite a long time just to get around the block because she's always stopping to conduct a non-existent orchestra.
Betty on the left, me on the right.
Just kidding. We were doing shadow puppets and it was her turn to attempt an elephant. You can see it if you look really hard.
Just kidding. She was yelling at a neighbour who was smoking pot.
Just kidding. She was beckoning him over.
First Flowers
No community garden still (it probably won't open up for another week) but I did manage to scrabble a few flowers together from my front yard to make a small bouquet.
2 regular and 1 specialty tulip plus a bunch of muscari (grape hyacinths) didn't make much fo an arrangement so I added the only other green stuff around, climbing hydrangea and a few wisps of honeysuckle.
TIDYING
The highs and lows in one's life can be measured not by the actual events but by how we react to them. This week I reacted by pathologically tidying. What's pathological tidying? I'm not entirely sure of the definition but I *can* tell you that it takes place at 3 o'clock in the morning.
In the past week I've cleaned up my front yard, back yard, organized, swept, vacuumed, put away and categorized most of my belongings. I also took my basement apart and reconfigured my grow light set up and all the seedlings I started. 3 a.m. seemed to be the most appropriate time to do this.
The pathological tidying isn't because I have more time on my hands, I'm still working the same amount I always have, it's because I'm wanting to feel some sort of control I think.
That and the fact that when you literally go nowhere other than home, you really want the home you're in to be as nice as possible.
Also, I found my sofa was getting gritty with cheese popcorn powder, potato chip crumbs and desperation.
Thinking of putting in a cutting garden now are you? Here are some of the things I grow most years that do well and aren't difficult to keep alive. Along with flour and yeast, eggs seem to be hard for some people to find as well. Here's my quick guide to seeing if your eggs are still fresh just by looking at them. Because today we need all the fun we can get. Even if it's in the form of slicing a cucumber. This is a pretty quick and easy plate rack DIY. I made two of these (as you can see in the post) but only had one of them in my kitchen. This week I brought the other one up from the basement and that resulted in 3 hours fo rearranging my kitchen. I'm sure you've been there. In keeping with my relentless (and uncharacteristic) clenaing and tidying, this week I showed you how to refill a Swiffer wet jet. Shaving without shaving cream! Yup, another thing I did this week because I do it every week. I was pleasantly surprised to see how many other people use this trick! Bacon wraps are normally reserved for Christmas but these are extraordinary circumstances so I urge you, for your own mental health, to make some. I found 3 in my freezer this week and it was like finding 3 miniature, tasty psychiatrists.What I've Been Doing This Week
Growing a Cutting Garden.
3 Ways To Tell How Old Your Eggs Are Just By Looking At Them.
Fun way to slice a cucumber!
An Easy DIY Plate Rack.
Finally! How to Refill a Swiffer Wet Jet Bottle.
How to Shave Without Shaving Cream.
Salty & Sweet Bacon Wrap Appetizers.
→Follow me on Instagram where I often make a fool of myself←
Jennifer
Have you ever ordered from Old House Gardens? I don't know if they ship to Canada, but they still have some dahlia tubers for sale. That's where I got my first Labyrinth dahlia, aka my gateway dahlia (now in 3 different raised beds). I love their products! The Atom gladiola is my favorite of all time.
Patti
OMG I love your new hair!! Whatever age you are it takes at least 5 years off! So softening and flattering! That curling iron says $250 on my amazon.ca site! Can this be right?
Nancy
$185 on the US site. You can even buy different sizes of curling barrels to attach to the heating handle, they are $85 each! Mine was $59 and I had to gird my loins to pay that much. I guess that's why my hair looks like I never heard of yoga. But Andrea is a professional and they have better tools because... they're professional.......
Karen
Yup, yup it's right, lol. And thanks! I bought mine from Shoppers Drug Mart. It was on sale and I bought it with my points! ~ karen
Vikki
I feel lucky—I only have to walk my dog (who perhaps minds better than your mother). I enjoyed this post and look forward to yours for respite from those currently-hateful people. Good luck on your dahlia hunt. Maybe Charlie can recommend a source.
Mary W
The hair description is weirdly but exactly what your hair reminds me of. It is cute and up to date but I MISS Karen. I will be so happy when salons are open again for my own hair. Balding old lady NEEDS a hair cut. I receive annual notices of what nationwide, store bought veg/fruit has been tested for the most poison and for the first time in years, strawberries have been replaced with RAISINS! Have you ever dehydrated grapes or DIY your own raisins? My grapes are organic and would love to do this but have no clue. I need them for making brown bread mentioned earlier in the comment from Mary.
Mary
Hmm, I just ran across an old family recipe, Aunt Calantha's Brown Bread. You know, the kind you bake in a tin can and cut those rich brown round slices for cream cheese sandwiches... anyway, on the recipe card it has in parenthesis "really Aunt Regina's recipe". You see, Aunt Calantha got the recipe from Aunt Regina, but when people asked her for the recipe she would say it was a secret and refuse. Eventually Aunt Regina heard about this. And she wrote out copies of her recipe and mailed it to everyone she knew.
If I can find some graham flour I may just make some.
Mary W
I love this bread and had a hard time finding graham flour also. Then I round out that it was really AP flour that had wheat germ. So I got a jar of wheat germ and substituted graham flour with 3/4 amount of AP flour and 1/4 amount of wheat germ. Works great!
Karen
LOL! Now that's a good story. ~ karen!
Elsa
I love my dahlias. I inherited my mother's tubers a few years ago and I've been growing them ever since. I recently joined the Hamilton Dahlia Society , they had a sale on their tubers last week, they might still have some left
Karen
LOL, I think I was the first one to get my order in. I've already picked up and potted some of them. ~ karen!
Diane Amick
Still liking the curly hair!
Margaret McDonald
Hi Karen,
DalhiaMay farm has some dahlias still in stock. Not sure if they will fit with your colour scheme.Melanie’s stuff is the highest quality. HTH
Margaret
Karen
Hi Margaret! She doesn't have *quite* what I'm looking for, but I'm hopeful I'll be able to fill in bits with ones I find at the local nursery once it opens to the public. ~ karen!
whitequeen96
Karen, lots to comment on here:
1. Love your new hair! Very different from the usual, but softer (and younger-looking?).
2. Your Dahlia palette is beautiful and I can't wait to see it when it's blooming!
3. Laughed at your mother/shadow puppets story. I was fooled every time (it really does look like an elephant) and want to know just WHY your mom was calling over your stoned neighbor.
4. Tidying in the middle of the night? Don't you know night owls are supposedly more creative than the average person? That's when I do most of my work.
5. ". . . it was like finding 3 miniature, tasty psychiatrists." Now that made me snort-laugh!
Karen
Thanks! Thanks! Because she's just that kind of lady! Because I was compelled to do it and .... thanks! That's my job. Educate, inform and entertain! ~ karen
Denise Potter
I don't make bread, but I do bake cookies. We were actually OUT of flour and fortunately my hubs found a 5# bag of an off brand (beggars can't be choosers) so he got it. But, it does seem that some people went a bit crazy ... somewhat expected I guess. I feel a bit crazy just about every day now. I'm hoping it is a temporary condition.
Angela
Thing I learned from this post: that those are grape hyacinths! Thanks!
Dan Stoudt
As Charles Schulz said, "I love mankind; it's people I can't stand".
Karen
LOL! ~ karen
Jacquie Gariano
I had forgotten that quote but it is so good right now. I'm going to write it down and post it on my quote board. LOL
Danni
Right now I have dough rising and while making it I had the same yeast/flour rage you perfectly described. Sourdough starter is being finicky and I had to dip into my precious yeast.... Finding flour has been hit or miss, my daughter will grab it for me if she sees any, since I make bread for her husband. I must remind her to grab yeast if by some chance she sees some... the proverbial snowball in hell.
I make pita a lot, it takes less yeast, and can be made in the pizza oven if it’s fired up for a meal.
But yes, tired of these newbies stripping the shelves, b#%ch, I’ve been doing this for decades, get back to hoarding toilet paper!!
PS....mean of you to say you had the best ginger snap recipe, and then devastate me by not sharing!!!!
Karen
LOL! Well at least you know if you ever give me a secret recipe that I will not share it. ~ karen!
Colleen Smith
The flowers this week are glorious and lasting so long as it has been cool. One of my greatest joys these past couple of weeks has been watching our 3 year old granddaughter wander our garden, pick flowers and leave them on the bottom step of our porch for me to make into a bouquet. So hard not to jump off the porch to give her a huge hug.
Karen
Yes! The neighbourhood is finally starting to green up and bloom. It's a mood booster! ~ karen! ps no hugging! :/
Marlene
hmmmm ... Dahlias. We lost a big tree last fall due to a the ash borer, so now my shade garden is full sun. I need a few ideas, but they can't be taller than my soloman seals. Are there many varieties of shorter dahlias? Looking forward to seeing you in the community garden!! Connon Nurseries are allowing people inside to shop!!! Social distancing of course. Got to look for a new clematis. Lost mine due to our new deck dimensions. Thank god the warmer weather has arrived!!
Karen
Hi Marlene! Just look for dahlias labeled as "border dahlias". They are shorter. ~ karen!
Eve
“… like a frugal billionaire that donates a lot to charity, has a T3 curling iron that cost $185.00, does yoga and surfs every day right outside her house every day just to humble-brag.”
whitequeen96
A curling iron that costs $185.00?! I hope she didn't pay that much because I see that select Costco locations have the T3 Twirl 1.25″ Curling Iron on sale for $47.99 (after instant savings), now through March 4, 2020. That is $12 off Costco's regular price of $59.99
Karen
Hey! It's not the same curling iron. :) This one I have is a pro model with interchangeable barrels. I bought it with points! ~ karen
Karen
Yup. I got it with points! But I would have paid for it anyway. I rarely buy anything and literally do all home repairs and renovations myself so it doesn't bother me one iota to buy an expensive curling iron. ~ karen!
KimS
Ok, I just have to ask— you bought $185 curling iron that was only four-star rated?
And a hoarder story I have to share. So my husband and I were on a zoom call with a group of our friends. My husband ask casually let’s do a poll how much toilet paper do you currently have in your house… One person admitted to having 81 rolls, another person I guess not wanting to be out done then said she had over 100 rolls! Both of these people have only two person homes! And the rest of the people on the call never said anything, which I’m going to assume was because at least a few of them were in the same situation!! Ack!!!! These are my friends!!! Oh well, we’re all just trying to do the best we can right now....
Denise Potter
Just had to go count our TP after reading your post. We are a family of 2 and we have 34 rolls plus the 3 that are hanging in bathrooms. Normally we wouldn't have anywhere near that amount but my husband was keeping his eyes open during the "shortage" and scored a 24 roll package (a quantity I would never buy under normal circumstances). I'm going to try and note just how long that much lasts us. I'm guessing until Christmas at least.
Karen
That seems like a lot of toilet paper, lol. I actually got my curling iron using points! But I trust my friend Andrea's opinion of anything to do with hair more than people rating things on Amazon. She uses cheap things and expensive things so I know if she recommends something it's because it's good not because it's the trendy thing to use or whatever. :) ~ karen!
Bonnie Harris
I found flour at Costco in Peterborough this past week, so check there to be sure. We always have a loaf of homemade bread going (my husband likes to make it in the breadmaker) so I knew we'd soon run out and had tried to get it at our local small town Ontario grocery store but no. I was luckier there with yeast though, they got some a couple of weeks ago and I happened to be in the store at the time. They're doing a pretty good job sourcing these things from unusual suppliers so the brands aren't always the usual ones, e.g., Fleischman's. Nice part about small towns, we don't have to line up to get into the store here like I hear you do in Toronto area. I like your hair a lot but that curling iron is way too expensive!
Karen
It's a VERY expensive curling iron. And it depends on the time of day and store in terms of whether you have to line up. It's in incredibly weird feeling to stand in line 6' apart waiting to go into a store. ~ karen!
Kelly
The hoarders! There is a special place in Hell for those who’ve nabbed all available yeast...and are most likely not even using it as sourdough is all the rage! I too am cleaning and organizing like mad. Monsoon season here in DC seems to be subsiding, and I was finally able to start working outside yesterday. Am desperate to fire up the power washer today, but fear the neighbors would have me hauled away if I start too early.
Karen
Fire up that power washer today!! ~ karen
Diana Franklin
Karen!!!! (Screaming with joy)
Love all the mini articles this week!
Love your hair and that is why I am screaming. You made a mention to my new favorite guilty pleasure, Schitt$ Creek!
Hope you enjoy it too!
Thank you so much for the tips and tricks!
Diana
PS I really agree with you on the hoarders.
Karen
Hi Diana! Thanks! And there is ZERO reason to be guilty about Schitts Creek. It's one of the best written, most thoughtful television shows in recent history. :) ~ karen!